A DECLARATION OF UNDYING LOVE-

"Big bro," Paris began, slapping Hector on the back. "You love me, right?"

Hector gazed at him suspiciously. "That depends on what you're about to say next."

Paris laughed weakly and flashing Hector his most innocent, little-boy smile, stammered,

"I'minlovewithmyboss!"

Hector gave Paris the 'huh?' look and said very slowly,

"Now calm down. Whatever you have to say can be said in English, right?"

Paris took a deep breath and repeated,

"I'm in love with my boss who's married to the man who's kinda your boss and since I'm going to ask her if she wants to leave her husband for me tonight, I was just wondering if that was okay with you. I mean, her husband might not like you so much after that."

Immersed by the swirls of white cream in his thick coffee, Hector murmured a careless,

"Yep, that's ok with me."

Paris grinned and wrapped Hector in a quick bear hug.

"You're the best big brother ever!" he cried and ran off.

A moment later, Hector's mind played Paris's words over again and Hector finally realized what Paris had been telling him. He dropped his coffee mug and it broke into countless shards, spilling boiling hot, dark coffee all over Andromache's favorite rug.

"PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

HELEN'S HOT SPOT-

Helen was busy planning her own kind of an 'Extreme Makeover' show when her phone rang. She picked it up only to hear the desperate sputtering of some man.

"My brother...he's...he's coming for you!" the man exclaimed.

Wondering why she was the one suffering all these phone calls from crazy people, Helen demanded,

"Who the heck are you?!"

"I'm his brother!" was the only reply.

"Yes, I know that," Helen said impatiently. "But whose brother?"

"I'm Paris's brother, Hector," Hector responded. "And Paris is coming to your salon right now to tell you that he's in love with you and he wants you to leave your husband for him."

"It's a boutique, not a salon," Helen reminded him sharply. "And Paris is going to do – what?!"

"He's head over heels over you and he wants you to leave your husband for him even though he knows that this is going to cause your husband to try to make my business go down the drain," Hector repeated rapidly. "And he knows that you are most certainly not worth my business going down the drain."

"Are you insulting my good looks?" Helen asked doubtfully. "Because I have a face that's beyond your dreams of obtaining!"

Hector snorted. "Fine, I wouldn't want to be a woman anyway."

"Now listen," he said. "No matter what he says or how much he tries to make you swoon with his declaration of undying love, do not listen to him!"

Just then, Paris burst into the boutique and announced dramatically,

"Helen, my darling! I am ready to declare my declaration of undying love!"

Helen gave him a patronizing smile and whispered,

"Fine, Paris, my...darling. Just sit down and be quiet for a sec."

Then she whispered to Hector through the phone,

"Don't worry, I got everything under control."

She left the phone sitting on a table and jumped back when Paris got down to one knee at her feet. He beat his chest with one fist and whispered,

"You're too good for me and I know it, but I can't help but love you and I will love you truly forever. Helen, will you elope with me?"

Helen's eyes widened as she muttered,

"Gee, that was a bit cheesy, but..."

She took one look at Paris's desperately humble face that made him look as if he would kill himself if she said no and then, she threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Paris, I thought you would never ask!"

And because Helen had forgotten to hang up the phone, Hector was listening to their every word on the other line.