Later that day, Tonya followed Sarah and Laura to the big living room for group therapy.
"I hate group therapy. They try so hard to make you talk." Laura complained, as the girls found a seat. As they sat down, Monica entered the room and sat down in an armchair across the room from where the three girls were sitting. She looked at Tonya and winked. Tonya smiled in return.
"Alright girls, why don't we all find a seat and get settled." Monica said when all of the girls had arrived.
"Who are you?" Sarah asked as the girls all got settled in. Monica smiled.
"Well, I'm glad you asked that. My name is Monica and I'm the new group therapist." She replied.
"There's a lot of new people today. I heard we have a new doctor named Andrew too." Laura whispered to Sarah. Tonya looked at Monica, who secretly nodded and Tonya knew right away that Andrew was now on assignment.
"Well, from what I hear, you are all making terrific progress. Congratulations. I look forward to meeting each and every one of you." Monica said with a warm smile as she opened a blank notebook, ready to take notes. Tonya pinched her sweater sleeves tightly, not wanting them to roll up. She secretly wondered how Laura could walk around in a T-shirt with those scars on her arms. Tonya was given the same scars in her human form, yet she felt so much shame in revealing them. She wondered how Monica felt when God made her black, or when He made her an elderly woman. Tonya remembered Monica telling her those stories about God changing her human form to better understand her assignments. Tonya knew that was why God gave her these scars for this assignment, but she felt embarrassed by them, a feeling that she, as an angel, had never felt before.
"Well girls, does anybody have anything they want to talk about today?" Monica asked as she watched the girls shift nervously in their seats. There was a moment of silence before someone finally spoke up.
"Hi Monica. I'm Trina. A year ago today was when I tried to overdose and ended up here. I just keep thinking about that day. Will those thoughts ever go away?" A young blonde girl asked as she stared at the floor shyly. Tonya could feel her heart sink as Monica began talking again.
"It's nice to meet you Trina. Well, I don't know if those thoughts will ever go away completely, but I think over time, those thoughts won't be as frequent or consistent. What do the rest of you think?" Monica asked, as she turned to face the other girls. Tonya listened sadly as the girls shared their stories of how they ended up at the hospital. All the different ways these young girls tried to take their own lives broke her heart. Overdosing, wrist-slitting, poisoning. Tonya also noticed that Laura was very withdrawn. She wasn't participating in the group discussion. She was just sitting cross-legged in the arm chair, picking at a loose thread on her sock. Tonya wondered how difficult it would be to get Laura to open up to her. She prayed quickly for strength and patience.
"Okay girls, good work today. I'll see you all tomorrow, same time, same place." Monica called as the girls filed out of the sitting room.
"Are you coming Tonya? Laura and I were going to play some cards before dinner. Do you wanna play?" Sarah asked as her and Laura were walking out.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes." Tonya replied as Sarah and Laura ran off. Monica smiled and approached Tonya.
"Sounds like you're getting along pretty well with your assignment." She said. Tonya sighed.
"Yeah but she's so withdrawn. I don't know how I'm supposed to connect with her. Except for..." She looked away and Monica puckered her brow.
"Except for...what?" She asked, confused. Tonya looked over her shoulder, making sure they were alone. She rolled up her sweater sleeves, revealing the scars that God had given her for this assignment. Monica looked at them and then back at Tonya. Monica took Tonya's small hand into her own and squeezed it.
"Don't worry about those. You know why God gave you those. Remember, it doesn't matter how people see us, little o ne. We're angels, sent by God to do His bidding." She said but knew that Tonya already knew this.
"I know. I just can't imagine how ashamed Laura must be. Not only does she have the scars, but she put them there, hoping to end her life. The shame she must have is worse. But still, part of me doesn't want anybody to see these." Tonya whispered, as she pulled her sleeves back down. Monica smiled.
"Just don't forget why you're here little one. Remember that God is with you. Don't allow anything to let you forget that!" She exclaimed as she thought of Kathleen and all the trouble she was about to cause. Monica wanted so badly to warn Tonya about the evil that lurked in these very halls, but remembered Tess telling her not to, but that didn't make it any easier for poor Monica. Oh how much Monica loved that little angel. She had been there to watch the young angel grow and learn, following in the footsteps of her mentors Tess, Andrew, and herself especially. Tonya looked up to Monica so much. She had helped her through some difficult times, as angels sometimes experience. Monica wished so badly that day at Summerlea that she could just tell Tonya who Kathleen was and warn her to ignore her deceptive tongue, but knew she couldn't. She knew Tonya had to learn the truth on her own, but Monica, loving Tonya as much as she did, hated to just sit back and watch.
"I won't forget Monica. Thanks. I'd better get going before anybody suspects we already know each other." Tonya said as she was beginning to notice that Monica was looking a little worried. "But before I leave, are you alright Mon?" Monica forced a smile.
"Yes little one. I'm doing just fine. Now you run along and continue on with your assignment. I'll be here if you need me for anything." She winked at Tonya, who smiled and ran back to her dorm room to join the other girls. Monica let out a long sigh, which was heard by Tess, who happened to wander into the room.
"Penny for you thoughts, angel girl." She said, startling Monica a little. Monica shook her head.
"Tess, I just want to -" she looked in the direction of Tonya's room but Tess stopped her.
"No! I know what you want to do but you cannot do that. This is what the Father wants. Tonya needs to learn this lesson by herself. With no help from anybody. That means you baby." She said as Monica grew more frustrated.
"But Tess, it's not fair. Tonya has never dealt with evil. How is she supposed to know that Kathleen is a fallen angel?" She asked. Tess shook her head.
"I don't know baby but I do know that Tonya has a good heart. God made her that way and she will follow it. I have faith in that little angel. You should too Monica." She said as Monica lowered her head. It wasn't like she doubted Tonya's heart. She knew her heart was good and pure. It was Kathleen she didn't trust, and Tonya was still naive, not knowing everything there was to know.
"I trust Tonya. You know that Tess, but try to understand how hurt I am that I can't help that little one through this." Monica said. Tess raised her eyebrows at Monica.
"Don't you think I'm upset that we can't steer our angel baby in the right direction? I'm just as upset as you are angel girl, but the Father knows best." She replied, rather sternly. Monica sighed.
"I'm sorry Tess. I'm just worried about all of this." She admitted. Tess smiled and pulled Monica into an embrace.
"I know baby. Just keep the faith." Tess said simply. Monica nodded slowly and with that, Tess left the angel alone.
"Well, I guess as soon as Sarah gets back from the bathroom, we can turn out the lights." Laura said as her and Tonya were lying in their beds, ready to go to sleep. Tonya nodded and looked around the room. She saw a picture frame next to Laura's bed. Tonya guessed that Laura must have been no more than ten years of age when the photo had been taken, and she sat in her mother's lap. She had the most beautiful smile.
"Your mom is so pretty." Tonya whispered, trying to start a more trusting relationship with her new assignment. Laura turned and looked at the picture frame and sighed.
"Yeah, she really was." Laura paused. "But...she died last year." Tonya already knew, but she remained sympathetic.
"I'm sorry Laura. I didn't know." She replied quietly. Laura shrugged, never looking up.
"Yeah, well, that's cancer for you." She said casually, obviously trying to diminish the pain she was feeling. Tonya didn't want to push, but she wasn't sure how much time she had, considering what Tess had told her. Laura was still suicidal, and Tonya knew there was no time to waste.
"Is...that why you're here? Is that why you tried to kill yourself, Laura?" She asked carefully, knowing that Laura was the type of person to hide her feelings but she prayed that Laura would open up, even if it was just a little bit.
Laura didn't even seem to flinch. She seemed deep in thought, yet emotionless. Tonya feared she had pushed a little too much, but didn't regret asking.
"Yeah, well, my mom and I were close. I didn't want to live without her." Laura replied, shifting in her bed to face the wall, thus ending the conversation. Tonya sighed sadly and looked at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and prayed.
Dear God, I know that You wanted me to help Laura for a reason and I know it's only my first day but Laura seems so withdrawn and isolated. How am I going to get her to trust me? I do trust You with my whole heart. Please bless Laura, Lord, and help her to see that life is worth living. And bless Sarah too. Please bless Tess, Monica and Andrew and thank You for using me in Your plan. I love You. In Your name I pray. Amen.
Sarah sat in the bathroom stall, secretly crying to herself. She had made sure that nobody was around. As she sat alone, she remembered the phone call she had received an hour earlier from her mother. The insurance that was paying for Sarah's stay at the hospital had run out, now that Sarah was 18 years old. Her parents couldn't afford the bills and so Sarah had to come home. Sarah was thrilled when she heard the news, but her mother had more news. Sarah's mom and dad had been fighting more and more recently and had decided to go through with the divorce they had planned four years ago.
"I hope now that you've recovered, you can handle that, dear. We gave it another chance, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Sarah's mom had told her. "So of course, it's up to you who you want to stay with when you get out."
Sarah's whole life felt like it had crashed all around her once again. She had felt as if the last four years of medication and therapy had been a waste because the temptation to end her life was beginning to creep its way back into her mind. She loved both of her parents so much, just as much as she had four years ago when she was faced with the same decision that nearly cost her her life. But I'm stronger now. She thought. I have to keep telling myself that. I've been recovering. I do not want to kill myself.
But now, as she sat alone in the bathroom, she was beginning to wonder if she really believed that.
Monica sat alone on the front step of Summerlea, staring sadly at the sky, with the breeze passing ever so slightly. She was so worried, and after she had checked to make sure all lights were out, she came outside, because she really needed some time to be alone and pray.
"Oh Father, this assignment is so complicated. I've never had to look out for an angel. Especially a young angel whom I love so dearly. Father, Tonya is still so young in her learning. She hasn't been an angel very long, You know, and I don't like that I have to wait to help her. Lord, I need patience because I know when Tonya meets Kathleen, she won't know who she really is, and I can't say anything. Please protect Tonya's young heart, Father." Monica whispered softly and just as she had finished, she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder.
"You know He always has protected her, and He will continue to protect her." Monica turned and saw Andrew squatting down next to her.
"Andrew. I didn't know you were here." She said, as he sat beside her on the steps.
"Yep, and I heard your prayers, and I know God did too. Monica, we all love Tonya and we're all worried about her. I know this is probably the most difficult for you though. You practically raised that little angel up to where she is today. You were always right beside her through all of her assignments and helping her learn right from wrong. She is very lucky to have you, and you have taught her well. She'll overcome this, just as she has every other obstacle that stood in her way. She's learned from the best. She's a very smart and loving angel, you know." Andrew tried encouraging. Monica hinted a small smile but turned away.
"I know she is Andrew and I'm so proud of her. If I were human, I would think of Tonya as if she were my own little girl. That's what she is to me. That's how much I love her. It's so hard to just sit back and let her do things on her own. Especially when it involves the evil side. Tonya's never had to deal with evil before. She won't know how to discern it." Monica replied, as the moon reflected in her moist brown eyes. Andrew only smiled, giving her advice she already knew.
"But God is with her, and with God-"
"All things are possible." Monica finished the sentence quietly. "I know." Andrew knew he didn't have to say much else. He just sat beside her, staring at the sky, secretly praying for his good friend Monica to find peace.
Tonya lay, facing the wall, pretending to be asleep, which was difficult because angels didn't need to sleep. She only listened sadly to the quiet whispers between Sarah and Laura.
"Sarah are you okay? You seem a bit down tonight." Laura had noticed when Sarah had first come to bed and shut the light out.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, just tired I guess." Sarah lied so well that Laura had believed her. Now, silence filled the room and Tonya thought the girls had fallen asleep, but then, Laura's tiny voice piped up.
"Sarah?" She whispered and Sarah stirred slightly.
"Yeah Laur?" Sarah replied with a groggy voice.
"You know what Friday is?"
"The 7th. What about it?" Sarah immediately felt guilty as she remembered just as quickly as she asked.
"I'm sorry Laura, I almost forgot...Are you okay?" Sarah asked. Laura closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek. She was glad the lights were out, so no one would see her cry.
"I don't know. It'll be the anniversary of mom's death. One year ago. It's also going to be a year since I tried to kill myself. I'm...a little worried about that day, to be honest. I'm just scared that all these memories are going to come back and it'll be too much to handle." Laura confided in her best friend.
"Laura. Have you talked to your therapist about this?" Sarah asked, after a moment of silence.
"Of course I have." But that was a lie. Even Tonya knew that. She just had a feeling. She was beginning to worry. Friday was only 3 days away. Was that how much time she had to convince Laura not to kill herself? Was Laura seriously considering a re-attempt to end her life? Tess had said she was still suicidal, but would Tonya actually have to stop her, or would she only need to talk her out of it? Tonya was so confused and so afraid. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the Father as the other girls drifted off to sleep. As Tonya listened to the silence, Monica stood at the doorway, peering in at her little angel. As she watched over her, she said a little prayer, for Tonya was unaware of what she would be facing the very next day.