DINNER WITH MY KIDNAPPER-

Both Hector and Paris froze, stunned at the sight of a gun pointed at them.

'Maybe this is a dream,' Hector thought, dazed. 'Or maybe it's one of those hidden camera shows.'

Paris however, opened his big, fat mouth and yelled, "I bet that you don't even know how to shoot a gun!"

Agamemnon's squinty eyes narrowed even more until they became just two black dots sunken in globs of pockmarked skin.

"I suggest that you shut your mouth, boy," he growled. "Before I show you how I shoot a gun."

In a brash manner, Paris swaggered around Agamemnon slowly and said, "Prove it then. Shoot me."

Paris threw up his hands and taunted him. "I give up! Shoot me! Or are you more mouse than man? No, you're probably more pig than man!"

Agamemnon spun around to face Paris who was nearly behind him and fired his revolver over Paris's shoulder as a clear warning. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about Hector. Hector charged and tackled Agamemnon to the ground, knocking the gun out of his hands and pinning his arms under his stomach. Squirming like an earthquake, Agamemnon gave a huge roar like an enraged lion and threw Hector off.

He started to scramble for the gun when one slender, white hand snatched it from him and used it to give a good, hard blow to his temple. Agamemnon gazed up to see Helen, trembling, but determined. And then, the pointed tip of black leather boot came swinging into view and smacked right into his forehead.

Agamemnon slumped to the ground with a throbbing, red welt blooming on his forehead.

"Go you, babe!" Paris cheered.

Helen looked astounded at what she had done, but managed to summon up one meek smile.

"We have to go find Briseis now!" Hector said and started to head for their car.

"Hold on," Helen interrupted and produced a tube of rich crimson lipstick. "I need my own revenge first."

She bent down and drew hearts all over Agamemnon's face before smearing the lipstick all over his mouth. Grimacing at the sight of her ruined lipstick, she then stuck it into Agamemnon's mouth, jamming it in.

"Good idea," Hector approved. "But he won't be very happy to see his new makeover when he wakes up."

And then, they jumped into the car, praying that they would somehow find Briseis soon.

ACHILLES'S HOME

Briseis blinked, sitting up quickly to find herself lying on a thick Persian carpet in the middle of big, comfy room.

"Finally!"

She turned to see Achilles standing in the doorway.

"I thought that you were never going to wake up," he said and impatiently told her to get off the floor.

"You were the one who hit me on purpose and made me black out!" she accused.

He was amused. "Call it payback for hitting me with an answer machine."

She opened her mouth to argue, but he raised a finger to her lips and whispered,

"You can argue whatever you want after dinner."

'Dinner?' she wondered, following him into a brightly lighted dining room the size of a bowling alley. 'He's going to feed me?'

In the center of the room stood a long table that could seat at least 14 people. But at the moment, there were only 4 available seats, two already filled by an elderly, elegant woman and a teenager that looked like a younger version of Achilles. Both stared at her curiously as if she were some foreign zoo animal for all to observe.

Achilles sat at one end of the table and then, they all looked at her expectantly.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" Achilles asked impatiently. "Or do you prefer to eat standing up?"

"I prefer to eat with my family in my home!" she retorted, bristling at how he treated her like an imbecile. "And I usually don't dine with kidnappers!"

The elderly woman looked at Achilles with a twinkle in her eye. "My son, since when have you needed to abduct your companions?"

Briseis flushed, and wondered how such a regal woman was Achilles' mother.

"I'm not his companion," Briseis said politely. "Your son kidnapped me and I would very much like to go home now."

"And of course you shall!" the woman exclaimed. "But you must be hungry. Please, at least eat with us before you depart."

It sounded more like a command and Briseis obeyed, sitting down in a chair and waiting for the food to come. She was not surprised to see two butlers arrive to serve them. There was no doubt that Achilles was rich and a total snob about it.

As she stared down at her soup, she wondered if it was poisoned. 'The most stylish way of killing your captives,' she laughed in her mind. 'Invite them for a nice dinner and poison them during dessert!'

"You haven't introduced yourself yet, dear," the woman said gently. "I am Thetis, Achilles' mother."

She waved her hand at the younger teenager to her right. "And that is my beloved nephew, Patroclus."

Briseis hesitated before giving her name.

Seeing that Briseis had not touched her food, Patroclus asked bluntly, "Why aren't you eating?"

"Don't worry, cousin," Achilles smirked. "Briseis is always paranoid."

Gasping, Briseis jumped up and flung her heavy silver soup spoon at him without thinking. In horror, she watched it fly at him, but amazingly, Achilles caught it in midair, laughing. He twirled the spoon in his hands and reassured Patroclus who had been gaping in fear.

"Briseis has a very bad temper," he informed them. "In fact, she was the one who tried to give me a concussion by dropping an answer machine on my head."

Briseis had had enough. She stormed away from the table and began to head for the door when Achilles blocked her.

"Is this how you repay my hospitality?" he demanded. "No matter what my mother thinks, you are still kidnapped so you will sit through the rest of dinner like a good girl."

Gripping her shoulders, he pulled her back into the dining room and she plunked down into her chair. 'He may have won the battle, but the war is not over.'