Disclaimer: No, I don't, but yes, I'd like to…
A/N: We've been gettin' some pretty good reviews… so we decided to do this little tag-team thing again… you are warned: this is a pointless, almost plot-less little doodie of a read, but hey… it's something to read, isn't it? lol. The way we do this is… Sarah comes up with chapter 1, then passes it along to me… I read it, then write chapter 2... She reads chapter 2, writes chapter 3, etc… it works well believe it or not… -Dana
A/N2: Sarah had this to say- "Dana was in a strange mood the whole time she was writing the Harm parts… I must say that I was impressed. Her mood made for some awesome reading that was a challenge to respond to… I love her humor and the way she's 'does' Harm… hmmm… doing Harm… anyway, we both hope y'all enjoy this… Here's to tonight not being a complete waste of an hour! Love, SAK" My response to all of that- I was in a mood? Hmm, I wonder why! (Sarah you OWE me pop tarts, and I just told the fanfic world so they are my witnesses… lousy roommate…) Oh, and I would love to do Harm, and so would must of y'all, so please read and review…
Coveted Cotton
"Bubbles and Tears"
Chapter 1
Right now, all I want to do is get naked and slip into a tub full of hot water and lots and lots of bubbles.
I need to soak, and I need to think…
Walking through the door, I begin stripping immediately.
I love being a Marine, but it's time to be a woman… a naked woman.
Where my uniform lands is of no concern to me right now.
I don't care that the 'message' light is blinking.
That stack of bills will have to wait.
Now naked and in my bathroom, I smile as I bend down and turn the hot water on.
I grab my bottle of Bath and Body Works Sheer Freesia Bubble Bath, click it open, and squeeze.
That should be enough…
As bubbles fill the tub and a sweet scent fills the air, I light a few candles.
This is long overdue. I needed this last week… and the week before that…
I turn the water off and slowly slip into the tub.
Oh, God… this is… this is amazing.
I close my eyes as I rest my arms along the sides of the tub and lean back. Relaxed completely, I sigh…
This is nice. This is just what I have been needing… a chance to relax, to think..
And, once again, who am I thinking about?
Harm.
Here lately, my thoughts have been centered around him.
I know that I am losing him… again.
I'm pushing him away, leaving him no choice but to move on. I've rejected him and rejected him… and I see that look in his eyes…
I hear the questions he is too polite, too in love to ask…
When will you love me?
Why won't you let me in?
Have I done something wrong?
Why won't you let me love you?
Do you love me?
Will we ever be together?
Am I waiting for nothing?
Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?
All of these questions that I see in his eyes…
But he's not saying anything.
True to his word, he is waiting until I am ready.
He's waiting… but still..
I know it.
I know that slowly but surely, he is slipping away from me… and it's my fault.
Lately, he has been tired… mentally, physically, and emotionally drained.
He hasn't said anything to make me think that he has been feeling a little run-down. He hasn't had to. I can look at him and tell.
After all these years, I have come to know him better than I know myself… and maybe that's the problem.
I can't tell where he starts and where I end… our words, our thoughts, our actions, our emotions… they are so intertwined…
It makes no sense at all, but we're too together to be together.
Two separate entities with a bond like the one we share… it's impossible to get ourselves out of the way. I'm too wrapped around him, tangled up in him…
One of these days, my resolve and my strength is not going to be enough to stop me from turning to him… and something deep down inside tells me that day is rapidly approaching…
It's getting harder and harder to tell him no… my mouth refuses, but my heart is already his…
It's getting harder and harder to be around him without being pressed up against him, without being held in his arms…
I love him, and even though it scares me to admit it…
I need him.
I've never needed anyone the way I need him, and I am scared…
What if I've waited too late?
What if, when I finally turn to him, he's not there?
What if I need him… and he's not there?
I am not surprised as I feel tears forming.
At work, I talk the talk and walk the walk of a kick-ass, take-no-shit, drop-and-give-me-fifty Marine…
At work, I never miss a beat and I stand my ground, fighting for justice, armed with passionate words and the truth…
But here… here, I am naked, warm, and vulnerable… my defenses shattered, my strength gone, my resolve virtually nonexistent…
Here… I am not a Marine, I am a woman who is hurting, confused, and battle-scarred…
The tears fall and I make no effort to wipe them away.
It's okay to cry, isn't it?
It's okay to not have all the answers, right?
I can hurt, can't I?
I don't know… I don't know anything anymore…
All I know is that my water is getting cold, my heart is breaking, and I am completely, utterly, alone…