What Am I Doing With My Life?

Authors Note: Thanks again for the reviews. I really appreciate each and every one of them. Also remember that reviews make me feel happy, and happy people write faster. I am pretty sure this is a proven studied medical serious fact. Let's see what else; this Chapter is a bit longer then the last two so go me. And yes I know I am prolonging the inevitable with those two crazy kids, but really that is kind of the point….

Spoilers: still none.

Premise: A fic for the hard core raver in all of us. Or a fic about one of the millions of ways Luke and Lorelai might have gotten together. You decide.

Chapter 3: "Fire, Rain, and a Million Movie References…"

The Next Day:

"Hey Lorelai, how are you this morning." Sookie said in her usual chipper manner as she walked into the construction zone that was the Dragon Fly Inn.

Sookie then lifted her head up and actually saw Lorelai. Sookie could immediately tell that something was off. Lorelai looked pale and had those tired eyes where the skin beneath was just a little grey. The kind of eyes that no matter how much concealer you put on them the grey remains sparkling underneath. The bags that let anyone who notices see on your face that you are having a rough time.

Before Lorelai could even respond Sookie spoke again. "Okay, I know you and don't say your fine. Cause Lorelai Gilmore you have sad face on!"

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders and sighed simultaneously. "I am not going to lie to you Sook. I am in a mood! And please don't say "Does someone have a case of the Monday's?" You have been quoting Office Space since I showed it to you last month and I can't deal with that right now."

"Case of the Mondays that Office Space was hilarious. You quit your job. No I'm just not going to go… Has anyone seen my stapler?" Sookie chuckled. Then she noted Lorelai's frustrated look and quickly went back into serious mode. "What kind of mood?"

"The kind of mood where I listened to James Taylor on repeat the whole drive over here," Lorelai responded.

"Carolina, on My Mind," Sookie asked.

"Nope, Fire and Rain." Lorelai Answered.

"Oh God this is serious."

"You have no idea!" Lorelai said quickly. "The whole way over it was, I've seen fire and I've see rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend… and I just could not take it off repeat." Lorelai shook her head as she spoke.

Sookie put her finger to chin as if she was contemplating something. "So, James Taylor for you that usually means melancholy mixed with introspective, right? Or wait does James Taylor mean angry mixed with a touch of sadness. No wait that's Back in Black, ACDC. No I'm right James is introspective Lorelai."

"You know me too well best friend of mine." Lorelai responded sadly as she plopped herself down on the floor. Sookie immediately slid down the wall and sat down beside her.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or do you want me to try to psychic friend's network it." Sookie asked as she lightly tapped Lorelai on the shoulder.

"I don't know if I want to tell you. I think you will suddenly come down with a case of the I told you so's, and I'm still not sure you really did tell me so. Or, if I am reading too much into everything," Lorelai responded.

"Just tell me. I promise whatever it is I will not say I told you so." Sookie sincerely replied.

"Well it's just…. I have just come to some conclusions… that at some….that possibly at times…" Lorelai trailed off and then sighed with frustration. The words just did not want to come out.

"Go on. Possibly at times…" Sookie prompted.

"Possibly at times Luke and I both act in ways… Ways that could be construed as being more than friendly…." Lorelai closed her eyes tight as she heard Sookie squeal. She then took a breath and continued. "And sometimes my reactions to things would leave me to believe that possibly I care about Luke in a more than friendly way. All of which are moot points now because he is back with Nicole. Plus, all the more than friendly ways he has maybe acted with me are all things that have happened in the past. It wasn't until I really thought about it and put all these things, these moments, these little hints, together that I realized that maybe something has been right under my nose this whole time."

Sookie squealed again and grabbed Lorelai by the shoulders. "I am so happy! I never thought this day would come. I want to make a cake. I want to make ten cakes. Mmm with strawberries…"

"Sookie you are getting a little off track." Lorelai jumped in.

Sookie looked directly at Lorelai and noticed the less than thrilled expression on her face. "You are saying what I think you're saying right? You like Luke, and you finally get that he likes you too. Because if that is what you are saying you don't seem happy. You are looking like someone just stole your lollypop, or popped your balloon, or one of those other expressions people use to describe sad children."

"Did you hear the part where I said none of what I feel or don't feel matters cause of that whole pesky 'he is back with his wife' thing?" Lorelai sadly answered.

"His Wife?" Sookie questioned as if she didn't remember Luke was married. "Oh yeah, Nicole. He is back with Nicole, huh?" Sookie said starting to deflate.

"Yep" Lorelai simply stated.

"Oh." Sookie said her face now matching Lorelai's. "This sucks. I mean you two together would be so great." Sookie then began to play devils advocate with herself. "Maybe you should just tell him anyway. But then that could end badly and you wouldn't want to lose him as a friend. Or it could end great, all slow motion running and kissing on a beach…" Sookie sighed, "Oh I don't know what you should do. This sucks. Lawyers suck, I am boycotting lawyers. Sam Waterston and I are through."

"Now you know why I am in a mood. This does suck, and thanks for boycotting Sam Waterston for me." Lorelai said with a half hearted laugh.

"Anytime," Sookie said. "I am sorry, sweetie. I don't know what to tell you this does in fact suck."

"Yeah, Sookie it really does." Lorelai said as she and Sookie both sat up from the floor and went off to start their respective days.

Lorelai was in an eerily calm mood as she headed towards Luke's. The consecutive days without a good night's sleep, every Luke conclusion she had reached, her talk with Sookie, and her long day of work had left her exhausted and resigned. Sometimes when too much is on your plate, and there are too many thoughts in your head, you just give up and hope that fate will give you the answers you can't seem to figure out on your own. So that was Lorelai's new thought process, whatever happens, happens.

Whatever happens, happens. She repeated the thought to herself once again as she began to get closer to the dinner. The next thought in her head was, I could just go home and collapse in to bed and avoid this all together. No I need coffee. I really need coffee, and I really hope Luke is in a forgiving mood... And maybe if I see Luke something will be clearer. Maybe it will all come out tonight. Ohhhh, maybe it will be Like that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel fight cause she finally realizes that he likes her and she likes him. But then he tells her it's too late for her to admit that he likes her and leaves. But then he comes back and they make out in the rain.…. Kissing Luke, mmm…I am thinking about kissing Luke, this is weird. Maybe he would throw me on top of the counter…Okay, and now this is really weird. You know what though it could all come out and end horribly bad. I mean this could be friendship wrecking and all kinds of awkward, and… Breathe, back to your new mantra, Zen like state, whatever happens, happens. Breathe and walk in… She said to herself as she opened the door to the diner.

She said the first thing that came into her head. "I know you are closed but I just came for a cup of coffee, and I'm way too tired to fight."

As she spoke she plopped herself down at the counter.

"Okay," Luke said nonchalantly.

The diner was empty so after Luke poured Lorelai a cup of coffee he sat down next to her at the counter.

Lorelai turned and faced where Luke was sitting.

"You are just going to accept that and not go all cold hard Luke on me?" Lorelai asked surprised.

"Well, we fight a lot and I save cold hard Luke for special occasions." Luke said sounding just as resigned as she felt.

"I'm so tired I am going to accept that answer." Lorelai quickly responded.

They sat together in silence as Lorelai drank her coffee. Luke had his elbows on the counter and his hands were being used to hold his head up. He seemed to be lost in thought. Luke was sitting next to Lorelai but did not seem to fully mentally be there with her.

Lorelai barely noticed Luke's demeanor. She was too busy saying, Whatever happens, happens. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever happens, happens, repeatedly in her nervous head. Suddenly she spoke. "Why do you think that is?"

"What is?" Luke said shaken from his own thoughts.

"Why do we fight so much?" Lorelai asked quietly.

"I don't know, I guess it's just in our nature. I think after you have been around a person a certain amount of time different patterns develop. The blow up, that's one of ours…:" Luke thoughtfully replied.

"You ever think it's out of frustration?" Lorelai asked quickly.

"Oh you are completely frustrating..." Luke said with a small laugh.

"Thank you for that." Lorelai sarcastically replied. Suddenly she was afraid of where the conversation was heading. Quickly she changed directions, "So, is this how it will be from now on? We can fight and then without saying anything it can be better."

"Who knows, it is how it is today. I think I have had my fill of fighting for the night." Luke softly replied.

"Ahh and now we get to the real motive. Are things not so great in lovely lawyer land?" Lorelai really didn't want to bring up Nicole but she just could not help herself.

"Lorelai, lets not start this again. See this is why we fight. You can never leave anything alone." Luke's voice began to rise.

"Okay fine. We don't have to talk about Nicole. Like I said before I'm too tired to fight." Lorelai quickly relented.

"Why are you so tired?" Luke asked. He was back to his normal tone.

"It's from the weekend long coke and booze binge I was on. It was all very Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Rory was the Benicio Del Toro to my Johnny Depp..." Lorelai sarcastically remarked.

"See the way you two eat I always pictured as having more of a Half Baked type experience…" Luke joked.

"Okay, I really don't know what do with the fact that you had never seen Casablanca until I showed it to you, but apparently you have seen Half Baked. I mean Casablanca is arguably the best movie of all time. The other is a movie where the main plot is about 3 pot heads who become dealers in order to bail their forth pot head friend out of jail for horse cop killing. Something does not add up." Lorelai said incredulously.

"You have to remember I used to live with Jess." Luke responded.

"Okay, I am not going to even get into the implications of that." Lorelai said quickly.

"Fine, then how about you really tell me why you are so tired."

As Luke spoke Lorelai noticed the concern on his face. She then took a moment and really looked into his deep blue eyes and tiny goose bumps began to form on her arms. He looks so worried. He is just so good to me sometimes. She thought. And if I tell him this could end up bad, like Titanic levels of bad. Then who will I go to when I really need that whole Luke presence.

"I was just thinking about some things, and I didn't get much sleep this weekend because of it." Lorelai vaguely responded.

"What kind of things?" Luke questioned.

"Things like why Michael Ian Black doesn't get the credit he deserves. Plus, why are Rory and I the only ones who have seen and understand the brilliance of Wet Hot American Summer? With Lines like "You taste like burger I don't like you anymore." Why is that movie not a comedy classic?" Lorelai rambled trying desperately to distract Luke from his line of questioning.

"You know sometimes for just a change of pace you could give me a direct answer. I know it would save me a lot of headaches." Luke said rubbing his forehead just below the edge of his backward base ball cap.

"Fine, I was thinking about things that if I tell you what they were it will probably lead to us fighting again. Didn't we both agree that's not what we want?" Lorelai was trying to be evasive. However, as soon as the words left her mouth she realized she had maybe said too much.

"Wait, thoughts about what we were fighting about kept you up all weekend? Are you talking about Nicole and me? I take back what I said earlier, I now would like to talk about it," Luke asked intrigued.

"Well too bad." Lorelai replied shakily.

"You can't just tell me thoughts that had to do with me somehow kept you up all weekend, and then not tell me what you are talking about," Luke's voice raised in frustration.

"Yes, I can!" Lorelai's tone matched Luke's as she abruptly stood up.

As Lorelai stood up so did Luke, "No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can" Lorelai said determinedly.

"Not if you don't want to meet that cold hard Luke you were talking about earlier!" Luke yelled.

"Fine, I think I like you and it's completely freaking me out!" Lorelai shouted.

Lorelai's eyes widened in horror as she realized what she had just admitted. Her mind was on over load. DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER! Get Out, Run, Run, Run, her head shouted

Luke stood in complete shock. Finally, when his brain would allow him to form a sentence he spoke. "You like me?" The question was as uncertain as the man who had said it.

Luke's response had come just a second too late. He noticed that Lorelai was no longer facing him and that the door to the dinner was now shutting.

"You like me?" He said once more to no one. The question seemed to echo rather loudly through the now empty diner.