A/n:

kat8cha -Thanks. Sorry, don't think there'll be any Angel/Wesley/Spike. #hugs Hope you'll make do anyways...

Layce74-Thank you, I'll try, but this issort of angsty, hopefully I won't overdo it though since I hate that too.

Lady Bird5-Oh yeah, the twists just keep on turning. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 2

Memories Coming to the Fore

When the cab drove up to the giant building that housed the offices of Wolfram & Hart Xander spared one quick thought on what could have beens before getting out of the cab and thanking the demon who had apparently taken a liking to him. It was nice to meet people who appreciated that sort of thing, Xander mused as he walked up to the glass encased entrance. This was his first visit to the new and improved law firm and Xander nodded appreciably at the changes made within. It was more tastefully decorated than the last time he had been there on business. Something that he hoped to the gods none of the former Scoobies ever found out about. Come on it wasn't like there were many other law firms you could use when selling more or less stolen goods and moving around money in anonymous bank accounts and get out of jail when some cop didn't realize that there wasn't a murder if the guy killed didn't even exist let alone breathe. Of course he'd had to move all his business after he was told that the law firm was a big bad all on its own. It wouldn't do for them to have anything to use against him in case they ever came up directly against each other. Anyways, he really hoped he wouldn't run in to anyone who had ever seen him in person. It was highly unlikely, but it could happen.

He'd used his real father's name when dealing with the firm; Lavelle was a respected name in demon circles apparently, who'd have thunk it. Of course when he'd learned of that little fact he'd gone out on his 'summer voyage of discovery' to find his errant father and have a long talk about leaving kids with crazy parents on the fucking mouth to hell of all places. He'd gotten a card with a phone number from his mother to use which he had once he'd gotten to LA, imagine his surprise when the person answering immediately sent a limo to take him to the airport and a plane ride to France. Hours later he'd been sitting in a mansion in France just outside of Paris talking with his father; Chrístoffer Lavelle.

The fire was crackling in the giant fireplace emitting a soft scent of pinetree and soothing his beast within. The Hyena spirit was a creature of earth and flame and she felt at home here. With her help he could smell the kinship to the person in front of him; the very imposing personality that was Chrístoffer Lavelle.

"I am very happy to see you Alexandre. I am glad that you are well, not many people these days can say that they've faced a true demon and lived to tell about it. I was most impressed by your tactical advancements this year, the plan for the Ascension was very well thought out considering."

Xander narrowed his eyes.

"So you have been spying on me I take it?"

A small smile greeted that somment.

"Oui Alexandre. You are my son, of course I wished to know everything about you."

"Your son? That's rich, I don't ever know you and how the fuck do you justify letting me live with those idiots only a few hundred yards from hell itself?"

Xander tried to keep his voice low and even, though the effort made him want to growl. He settled for quietly gritting his teeth together.

"Ah, yes, well, you see Alexandre, for now your life is your own. You have no responsibilities to the Council or family of which I am a part of. You are a free agent. Something you could never have been had I taken a hand in your care from day one. Secondly your life has been a trial of fire, to be able to fully understand other's suffering you need to have suffered. To appreciate riches you need to have felt what it is like to be poor. To be a leader you need to be able to fend for yourself and to know yourself. That is why you have led the life you have. To be a part of the Council you need to be able to see every shade of life, every shadow. Your friends see things in black and white yes? The Council is of the Shadows, therefore you must learn to see the grey."

A Shadow Council. Xander could feel the words spinning in his head, drawing out speculations and associations of what it could mean and implicate. His first thought was to get out of the chair he was sitting in, leave this mansion and never come back. He had bad experiences with councils. The Watcher Council had been bad, bad news. However, this was his father and he was right, living on the Hellmouth had taught him these things and well, he of course had other ways of knowing things like this. There were things to be said about Chaos spells that were not all bad. He may not like it, but he lived his life in war, every advantage was an edge he couldn't afford to lose. He needed information and he needed to understand. So he had asked questions and his father had told him about the Shadow Council of the world.

He had stayed with his father for a month and a half. Getting to know the other man at least some and learning many other things as well like an appreciation for poetry and playing chess, well that and he'd gotten some practice with his sparing and his marksmanship with guns and archery, afterwards he had left for the US once more and continued on with his travels until it was time to go home.

With most of his mind centred on the past Xander announced himself to the receptionist on the ground floor before heading straight for the elevators and the main floor on top. Lorne had told him quite a bit about how the new Wolfram & Hart was organized and he knew where everyone should be, especially he knew where his Spike should be and that pissed him off. Apparently Spike wasn't trusted to do much of anything and Angel had been acting 'funny' around him since he went and got corporeal again and not in a nice kind of way. Xander muttered about crazy ass vampires who should know the difference between acting like revenants and being such, goddamned Aurelians… Reaching the top floor he stepped out of the elevator with a dangerous gait and headed for the room where Spike should be. Breezing by the secretary, some nameless blonde; Harmony had apparently been dusted, he didn't stop as she challenged him.

"Name's Alexander Harris," he said and then he was standing outside a nondescript wooden door.

He could sense his vampire on the other side. The door was locked. Xander's lips twisted in disgust before he muttered a small spell and the door was opening before him. On the other side of the room stood Spike, facing the magical windows, watching the sun. Beautiful, Xander taught.

"Hey Blue Eyes…"

Spike didn't turn around and Xander fought down a lump in his throat. He moved towards the vampire and put his hands on the narrow shoulders.

"Hey…"

A pale face turned to look at him, eyes big and blue and full of tears.

"Didn't think you'd ever show up…"

The words were spoken clearly and with mixed emotions.

Xander's throat tightened even more when seeing the brave front his vampire put up despite the tears that he must have fought to keep hidden. Fuck them all, his vampire would not distrust him, should not even think that he wouldn't have been here, wouldn't want to be here.

"I didn't know, blue eyes. I hopped a plane the second I found out you were back. I love you, it's gonna be alright now. I promise."

The shoulders under his hand sagged and Spike turned around to bury his face in his chest.

"Missed you…they wouldn't let me call you, then I just thought, well you didn't come…"

The tears were following freely now and Xander growled.

"You thought that because I hadn't come that I'd deserted you just like everyone else you've ever known. You should fucking know better!"

"But you weren't here were you. Never, you just..."

The vampire mumbled something inaudible.

"What was that?"

"Ssd on…"

"Okay…One more time blue eyes, I didn't quite catch that."

"Shouda known."

"Spike? Who should have known what?"

Spike raised his head and glared defiantly at him.

"You should have bloody well known I was alive that's what!"

Xander felt his heart plummet. Powers…Spike was right, he should have known, somehow. But whatever else he was he wasn't all knowing and he simply didn't have those kinds of powers, not yet, not without something to send his mind that away, but Spike had been dead for real, no matter. He should have sensed something, anything and he should have taken the time to go to Angel and see how he was doing after loosing another childer… And he should have made sure, absolutely sure that Spike was dead. He could have done that with a spell. The gods knew people had a habit of coming back from the dead at the Hellmouth, he should have made sure. Spike had died or whatever by magic, that made changes, he knew that. He just hadn't thought.

Anyway had he only claimed Spike properly at anytime that point had been moot, there would have been a connection and he would have known, but he hadn't, for various reasons he hadn't the biggest one being that he couldn't tap into the Hyena spirit's power all that much and therefore was not in a position to dominate the vampire physically and that as he understood it was important in a claiming. Of course he did have magical powers so really that was a lousy excuse and it wasn't as if he'd ever want to dominate Spike anyway. That wasn't how he did things, he just hadn't thought that it was something that the much older man would go for. Those were his insecurities however, but it was Spike that had had to pay for them.

"I'm sorry." Xander whispered while putting a hand in ungelled, blonde locks, tugging gently until he could reach the vampires brow with his lips.

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't make anything right, doesn't take away pain or loneliness or despair or…or it just bloody well don't, Xan. It just don't!"

"I know."

Xander pulled the vampires head back to his chest and tightened his arms around the smaller frame.

"I know. But it'll be okay now. I promise and you know I don't make promises I don't intend to keep."

"You swear it, Xan? Angelus promised me lots of things, but he's a right wanker with or without a soul and I just, I'm tired pet. So bloody fucking tired."

"Yeah."

Xander kissed his vampire's hair and stroked his neck.

"So how's things been. I talked a little to Lorne, but he would only tell me that Angel's been acting weird around you. You want to tell me more?"

"Yeah, fine."

The sigh that accompanied the words made Xander's heart clench, Angel had better find a nice and dark corner to hide, he thought with vehemence.

He eyed the couch in the room with determination and manhandled the vampire there and into his lap in a few fluid movements that many people would be surprised to see. The vampire, despite his 127 years of age let himself be handled and cuddled quietly into his lap without objections. It was a position they had used a few times over the years due to the heavy angst that the vampire had experienced after the chip and then after the ensoulment.

Xander was thankful when the gang decided that he should take over the care for Spike. Seeing him chained in that bathtub had made his skin crawl, that was just plain wrong. The fucking Initiative was an abomination, you didn't do stuff like that to people, undead or otherwise. If a revenant was dangerous you killed them, if a vamp was insane you put them out of their misery or got the hell out of the way putting machinery in someone's head that was barbaric hopefully they didn't do anything too nasty and didn't manage to capture too many demons or non normals or non hostiles.

Yeah, Xan, that's it, thinking positive will make everything okay yeah? Buffy is fucking dating one of those people. Powers, don't they realize what a menace they are? Of course not, to the slayer all demons are evil, all non humans are evil. But it could have been Oz they captured or a witch. Thank the gods I've already alerted the community about this, all non hostile demons and non normals should have gotten clear of Sunnyhell by now, or at least gotten safe. I just hope there haven't been too many captured, I've gotta get a good look in that base, see if I can release anyone. Hopefully Spike can help me with that, there's more to him than it seems, I'm sure of it.

"Yeah, bye Buf. See ya tomorrow. Come on fangless wonder, let's go."

Xander cringed inwardly at his on flippant derogatory remarks, but masks were what they were and once set could not be altered without jeopardizing the play.

As they got to the Basement where he'd have to live now to keep his secret he shot a look at the vampire by his side. He wore masks too, right now the Big Bad was up and at arms, the vamp wouldn't show weakness and would hate pity. He needed to feel some dignity somehow. Xander did what he could to provide that with his witty banter and tying the vampire up in a chair at first. After hearing the quiet sobbing of the vampire at night though he simply couldn't do it more than a couple of nights. He'd just have to take a chance and trust Spike now.

As night fell once more Spike went to the chair and obediently waited to be tied up. Xander just shook his head and went about his business.

"You want some blood Spike?"

The vampire looked up with shocked, blue eyes before dropping his mask back on and sneered.

"Well, yeah you bloody wanker. Can't get enough of the stuff can I 's not like animal blood got the same power human does."

Xander watched in the corner of his eye how the vampire bit his lip to keep himself from saying any more. Reading between the lines Xander determined that he was indeed correct and that the current feeding was positively starving the vampire.

He got a big cup and filled it up with two bags of 0-positive, he then warmed it in the microwave for exactly 30 seconds before heading back to the vamp with his offering while he himself drank a cup of tea.

"Here ya go."

Spike seemed to steel himself before tasting, but then his eyes flew up and he lowered the cup, very, very slowly.

"This is human," he said in a completely emotionless voice.

"Yes it is. Bon appetite."

Not saying another word Xander settled on his bed with a book in his lap, taken from his stash in the wall safe he'd built here as soon as he'd ' moved in'.

"Remote's on the table if you wanna watch some TV, keep the volume down though."

Having said that he returned his eyes to the book on elemental magic that he was reading. Absently he noticed when the vampire started to relax and when he heard the TV being flipped on he smiled slightly. Phase one.

After having studied for a few hours Xander yawned and got up off the bed. He went about his evening business and then got a blanket and a pillow which he unceremoniously put on the couch. Now for the test of fire.

"I'm going to bed now, please don't wake me unless it's an emergency."

"Hey!"

Xander turned at the indignant exclamation.

"I'm not your bloody fire alarm and weren't you going to tie me up?"

Xander sighed.

"I can if you really want me to, but I'd really rather not."

"What's this then?"

Spike's eyebrows were through the roof and made a gesture that Xander supposed was to encompass the blanket and the cup and the TV.

"This is me being a good host, Spike. I don't agree with what the Initiative is doing and

you've come to us for asylum. The others may not know what that really means, but I do and this is me accepting your plea after some consideration. This is me extending my hospitality and my protection to you. Do you accept?"

Spike blinked once and was quiet.

"What protection would that be the mate, you're the bloody Zeppo."

Xander smiled.

"I'm not, Spike. I'm really not. Angelus learned that a long time ago, perhaps he never told you that."

"I heard him ranting something or another about a boyo playing white knight to the slayer. You?"

"Me? Always me, this is the Hellmouth Spike. Things are never exactly as they seem, not you, nor I. I am not useless in a fight and I never have been , however before I get into any of that I need to know if you accept my offer of asylum? This is me offering, not the Slayer. What'll it be?"

"What'd you want in return?"

"I want your loyalty and respect. That's it. I'd also like someone to spar with and talk to about things that the Zeppo shouldn't know and someone to watch my back as I watch theirs, those are side benefits though. I'll provide you with shelter, food and protection in return. Do you agree?"

"'S that all?"

"Yes, Spike that's all. Needless to say of course is that all that goes on without the Scoobies present is our secret, with them our masks will resume, for now at least."

"So you're offering to put me under your protection? What of the slayer, she'll likely want to dust me for real one of these days."

"If you agree to my terms you're under my protection yes, that means that I protect you, period."

"And you want nothing other than what, companionship?"

Xander sighed, he could see where this was going now.

"Spike listen too me very carefully, I will outline this for you line by line. This is not me offering you protection in exchange for your 'companionship'. I am not looking for a consort or a courtesan. You will not be expected to act like my servant, be it in terms of menial labour or sexual favours. I, Alexander Harris Lavelle is asking for your respect and loyalty in exchange for protection, now do. You. Agree.? If you'd prefer we could make it a case of temporal fealty, all I ask is that you let me know before you wish to end our agreement."

Spike stood straighter and locked eyes with Xander.

"You're a Lavelle?"

Xander nodded.

"As is my real father. And yes I do know about our reputation in the demon world and I hold true to some things, others not so much."

Spike watched him quietly for a moment before nodding curtly.

"In that case, temporal fealty it is. Bound in blood…for both our sakes."

The last part was said as an afterthought and Xander nodded again. Yes, blood was binding in a whole other way and they needed that. Going from enemies to a bond of fealty and in secret no less, they would definitely need that extra security for their own peace of mind. While thinking this and mentally going over once again the significance of what he was about to do Xander went to the secret safe and retrieved an athame.

"Wrist okay?"

Spike nodded.

"Sharing or blending?"

"Sharing is better…"

Xander brought the knife down first on his own wrist and then grabbed spikes and did the same, cutting a bit deeper for the vampire, but not by much since Xander still had some healing capabilities left from his possession.

"I Alexander Lavelle also know as Xander Harris offer you Spike, William the Bloody, Master Vampire of the line of Aurelius, my protection with all that it entails in exchange for loyalty and respect with all that is required by fealty."

He raised a questioning eyebrow towards the vampire at his choice of wording, wondering if it was okay, he hadn't gotten to that part of his research yet so he only knew the basics of such things. Spike only nodded though and continued on.

"Protection has been offered and accepted. A pact of fealty has been made. I Spike, William the Bloody of the order of Aurelius agree to your terms Alexander Lavelle. Your honor is mine, my life is yours. 'Til we break our ties so will it be."

He then offered his bleeding wrist to Xander who accepted and offered his own in return. Spike accepted but didn't bend his head to suck on the wound before Xander had done the same. Xander sucked hard and drew in a mouthful of blood. Spike did the same and then carefully licked the blood away. Xander released his arm then and spoke:

"Bound by blood."

Spike gave a kiss to the healing cut on Xander's arm, released it and then he also spoke:

"Sealed by blood."

Xander smiled.

"Let's get out of here, I want to go home."

He put the still bloody athame in a chest in the safe and pulled on his shoes. Then he punched in some numbers on his phone to redirect his calls and they headed out.

That had been the beginning of a beautiful friendship, one that Xander had missed sorely. He sighed and kissed Spike's forehead once more.

"Ready to talk, Blue Eyes? Then tell me everything."

So he did. Spike told him about everything since heading down to the seal at the Hellmouth. He talked and he talked about his fear, about Buffy's last words, about dying and coming back, about being a ghost and being turned corporeal again and finally he talked about Angel…

"It's like he's got split personalities or somethin' Xan. It just don't make any sense, he plays more head games than Angelus and Dru did put together. I can take it, but I don't want to have to. I want a life Xan, I'm tired of him, tired of family, I want peace and I want to be free, just that, nothing more. I want to fight too, just not like this. I want to fight because I choose to, not because of orders and threats, Xan. I'm tired of the nitpicking and the headtrips and the fighting without having proper food to eat, with nothing sustaining me, but bare essentials and no affection. Living with Dru with all her crazyness was never this bad. I miss you, Xan, we still have fealty right? It didn't go away 'cuz I died or whatever, right? If it did, I can swear it again, no worries. I'm sure you've got a knife on you somewhere, I'd offer to look for one, but you know they keep all things weapon like away from me unless I'm fighting. 'Ey Xan? What'd you say?"

Xander's eyes were filled with tears and the water was running freely down his cheeks onto the soft blonde locks below his chin. It was heartbreaking hearing Spike, proud, defiant Spike babbling and pleading like this.

"You were to tell me before breaking the bond and you never did, you know. So to me it still holds, I think technically though such things end at death."

The body in his lap tensed and he hurried to reassure his friend.

"However that may be, we can always to it again if you want us to. Otherwise I would like to claim you. It's something I regret not doing before, if I had you'd have never had to suffer through all this. Spike, Will… I'm so sorry for not being here, for not protecting you and taking care of you. I will do my best to do so from here on out, oath or not, but I would really like to claim you as one of my pack. I'll make sure that you're free to roam the world if that's what you want, but I'd like to have this bond with you. To always know you're safe. You don't have to decide now. In fact, I insist that you take some time to think about it, I know it's a big step, especially considering that you are a master vampire and considering the abuse you've suffered before. I won't be offended if you say no, we'll do whatever you're comfortable with. Think on it, in the meantime I want you to take some of my blood, okay baby? You're too thin, don't worry about hurting me, I've merged with the Hyena now so I'm in better shape than you are…"

Xander pushed Spike's head towards his neck and held it there until he could feel the fangs gently piercing his skin. Feeling the soft pulling of blood he closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. Just then the door to the room opened and Xander could feel Angel's presence there. With lightening swift movements he got out one of his throwing knifes, the ones he had had specially made many years ago, lined with silver and wood, and aimed it at the doorframe just beside the master vampire's head where it landed with a dull thud.

"Leave, Angel. We will speak, later."

With another knife held pointedly, aimed a bit more to the centre of the opening Xander waited patiently for the door to close. As the door closed firmly shut Xander could feel Spike relaxing and resume his slow pull of life essence from his body.

A little while later, much later than he normally would have Xander gently tugged at the soft locks once more.

"Enough."

Spike immediately stopped drinking and retracted his fangs before gently lapping at the wound with his tongue before giving up a content sigh and burrowing his nose in the juncture between neck and shoulder.

"Thank you. Missed you. Love you. Tired."

Xander chuckled quietly.

"I love you too and you can sleep when we get back to the hotel, I'm gonna be dropping you off there and then I'm coming back here and me and Angel will have a long talk where I will speak and he will listen. That will be followed by a fight, an apology and a little magic. Then hopefully we'll have your sire sane again for the first time in a really, really long while. Now scoot."

Spike sighed, but quickly acquiesced and stood up from his safe haven, looking for all the world like the brash master vampire of years past.

Xander smiled encouragingly at the brave front and they headed out through the door.

Heading out of the room Spike walked a step behind Xander and it felt good to be able to depend on someone again. Xander was there for him, to protect him and he would do anything in his power to make that happen. That essentially meant that Spike was now as safe as he had ever been. Xander in alpha mode was a force to be reckoned with and right now his every move exuded danger and protection. Spike was a master vampire, but that didn't matter in this situation. No matter how strong you were or how big and bad there was always someone bigger and badder, stronger and simply better.

Xander was all of those things now and Spike did not feel like a smaller man for deferring to him. He had known since that day of their initial bounding that the man before him took him at face value. He did not think that power immediately meant that you were in the right, judge feelings as weakness nor did he think that ensoulment meant good or demonic heritance bad. He took you for what you were and was amazing at seeing straight through masks. That preacher freak had called him 'the one who sees' and that was the gist of it really, Xander saw, had always seen and acted on what he saw, regardless of what may stand in his way. He knew the need for secrecy and he could read people, he knew that truth was not always something that one could face head on and he acted accordingly.

Spike had many times pondered over his relationship to the dark man and had finally come to understand that he could not be summed up in an easy way. It was like he had said that time those years ago 'Things are never exactly as they seem, not you, nor I'. The mask of the goofy boy Xander that had been worn for so long was not the real Alexander Lavelle. That was a man that Spike had slowly come to know over the years and one he respected as hell. He was a brother, a comrade in arms, sometimes a father figure, strange as that had been to figure in the beginning it was simply so. Xander took care of you, that's what he did, it didn't matter that he was absurdly young, in his eyes you could see age old wisdom and in his arms you found acceptance and comfort no matter who you were, if you let him be there for you, he would be.

Spike lay naked in a nice plush bed, under soft fluffy blankets reliving memories not yet repressed by his years of practice.

"No, no, no. You like that you bloody animals, like my tight ass, always knew the military bred perverts. Par for the course ey? They teach you rape in between reciting the fucking constitution maybe? Fucking poofsters. Hey, wanna go a bit harder, didn't feel that in my throat!"

Shaking and cursing while tears fell down his face Spike was hardly aware when strong, warm hands started to stroke his hair, a soft voice sang some old British tune, smoky tenor half whispering of springtime and dancing in the meadows, of old folks and peace of the ages.

After a while he relaxes and wakes enough to hear the words…

'Walk on by, my lad of sunshine

Let the crops grow high with gold

Shine with hope the morning cometh

Ne'er let there here be cold

So long as summer's in our hearts

We'll find our joy now as then

Dance around us lad of sunshine

And we'll ne'er cry again'

The voice continues to sing softly until it stops, though the warm hand continues to stroke his hair and the back of his neck. Without really knowing how Spike finds himself cradled in strong arms and seated halfway on someone's lap. He knows who the person is that's holding him, but it's not really important right now because he is being held and caressed in a completely platonic way, something that hasn't happened to him since his early childhood. He can't smell any pheromones in the air only earth and fire, not deadly fire, life-giving fire, the sunshine of his mortal years. He sighs and snuggles in deeper into that comforting embrace, accepting that he is protected in this physical plane for now.