A HUGE thank you to all who reviewed! It means so much!
All warnings and disclaimers can be found on the first chapter.
Remus' POV
I awake early; I always do. As usual, I get up and make my way to the window. I laugh softly to myself; I'm such a creature of habit. This is my morning ritual just like my nightly one. On my way to the window, I stop at Sirius' bed. He never closes his curtains, so I can see him clearly in the faint light. He's beautiful.
I think that I love him. Yes, he's a guy and one of my best friends, but that doesn't bother me anymore. He mumbles something in his sleep as I stand over my crush of three years. I have to stifle my laughter as I think of the irony of it all; a gay werewolf. I wonder if there are any others living in this minority within a minority. I doubt it.
That's the reason that I can never tell Sirius how I feel. He has accepted the werewolf part of me without question. In fact he has done more than that. He, along with James and Peter, has become an animagi for me to help with the pain. But a gay werewolf? I fear that even my accepting friends might have trouble swallowing that one. Homosexuality is not widely accepted here or anywhere else for that matter. Also the fear of rejection is very strong; I don't want to loose the only friends that I've ever had.
I sigh and make the rest of the journey to the window. Sunrise. It's my favorite part of the day. There's a deep serenity in that I can't seem to find anywhere else. It also brings light. I like the light. It's revealing and safe. It also banishes the dark. I haven't really liked the dark since I was bitten. Dark means night and night means moon and the moon… the moon is the bane of my existence. There are some things about dark that aren't that bad, like when I go to Sirius.
So every morning I watch the sunrise and greet the light. I sit in the plush scarlet window seat leaning into its comfort. I watch as the first light steals across the horizon. It's faint at first but it grows. Slowly the lighter blue moves upward so that an organish tint filters into its place. I sigh appreciatively at the beauty before me.
It's getting lighter by the minute. Pinks and yellows join the orange. The top of the sky is still the dark blue of night and the crescent moon is still visible, but the stars have all but disappeared. The light slowly grows greater. There are clouds on the horizon, but I can tell that it will be a nice day. I guess that I've seen so many sunrises that I can just predict stuff like that. Yet no matter how many I watch, I don't think that I will cease to be amazed by their beauty.
When I sit here in the morning it's easy to forget my problems and worries and even my crush. Sadly life doesn't like this peace that I've found for myself and decides that I've had quite enough. I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump in fright. I turn quickly, my wand out just in case. I have every right to be suspicious seeing as I normally have to pull my dorm mates out of bed and I mean literally.
"Careful with that thing Moony you could put an eye out," teases Sirius. I'm ready to be mad at him for one sneaking up on me and two for the comment but I can't. I've never been able to be mad at him for very long. Even when he told Snape where to find me on the full moon, now referred to as the Shrieking Shack incident, I could only hold a grudge for two weeks…
~*Flashback*~
"Moony?" he asked. It was the first time that he had dared approach me since I had yelled in his face that I never wanted to speak to him again. That was two weeks ago. I was lying of course, but the anger got the best of me and I lost it. It just hurt so much this breach of trust from my friend and crush.
"Moony? Remus?" He asked again a bit more desperately this time. We were in our dorm on our respective beds. This was my first time alone with him since the incident. Normally James and Peter would be with me, but they both had something to do. It was after I had set up my things that I realized he was also in the room. It seemed silly to pack up and move, so I stayed where I was and decided to just ignore him.
"Please Remus…please just let me talk to you," he was begging now, down on his knees in front of me. I knew in the instant that I looked up and into his eyes that it was a mistake. I had never been able to resist his eyes or him for that matter. I was shocked that I had held up this long.
"What do you want Sirius?" I asked in the iciest tone that I could manage. It wasn't very icy but I tried.
He gave me a relieved and grateful smile before saying, "I just want to apologize for what I did." He looked up at me for permission to go on. I nodded so he continued. "Words cannot express how sorry I am for what I did to you. He just…just got on my last nerve with all his questioning about you. I lost it and told him where to find you. I wasn't thinking straight. But in these last two weeks I've had a lot of time to think and I've come to this conclusion: I don't ever want to loose you as a friend. So even though what I've done is probably unforgivable could you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
There were tears in his eyes when he finished though I could tell that he was trying desperately not to let them fall. It was a losing battle. That was the last blow my heart could take.
"Yes Sirius," I whispered after a long silence, "I forgive you."
The smile on his face at that moment was enough to make me fall in love with him all over again. I only saw it for a second before he pulled me into a tight hug. We sobbed into each others shoulders for a long time, letting out all the pain and stress of the last two weeks.
When we finally drew apart I said, "There's one condition to your forgiveness Padfoot." He looked at me worriedly until I said, "Promise me that you'll never do it again."
He smiled again and said, "Of course Moony."
Later that day we told James and Peter about our make up and they also forgave him. That night I went to him in the night for the first time in two weeks. That was when I fully forgave him.
~*End Flashback*~
"Remus?"
I am snapped out of my reverie by Sirius' voice. "Yeah?" I reply. Not a very intelligent answer but at this hour what do you expect.
"Aren't you cold?" he asks. I shake my head no and indicate the blanket that I have wrapped tightly around my body.
He smiles and says "Well move over Moony 'cause I'm freezing!" I comply and seconds later I'm sitting under my heavy scarlet blanket with none other than Sirius Black.
I relish every touch that I receive from him. At night when I go to him is somehow different from whenever he touches me during the waking hours. It is somehow more intimate; less of a ritual.
The sun is fully up now. As much as I don't want this moment to end I know that it soon will. In an effort to prolong the moment I ask, "Why are you up Padfoot?"
"I couldn't sleep. I should ask you the same question."
"I'm always up this early," I reply. "Almost six years and you don't know that Padfoot?"
"Why?" comes his simple response, "rather ungodly hour if you ask me."
"I like to watch the sunrise," I say, "and no one asked you for the record. A few minutes later I say "We should wake the others now. James isn't happy unless he gets at least half an hour in the shower and Peter likes to be at breakfast as soon as possible."
"You know best mother," he teases and then winks.
"I resemble that," I say. Then, "I mean… I resent that." Why do I always have to get that phrase wrong? He laughs softly; I love his laugh.
"Yes you do resemble that, now come on we have some people to awake." I catch a rather maniacal glint in his eye right before he throws the blanket off and slides off the window seat. I pity James and Peter because I know that their awakening this morning will not be pleasant.
He grabs my hand and hauls me up. All too soon the contact is broken and my hand is left feeling empty and cold. I smile slightly to myself as I hear the sounds of spluttering and then death threats. It seems that James has had a bit of a wake up shower. It's going to be an interesting day.
Review!