Disclaimer: I own my pants, my comp., and my foil, that's about it. None of these char. are owned by me.
AN Some people have been brought back from the dead. But there will be logical explanations as to why they're alive. None except my fingers were harmed while typing this fic.
"Cloud!" Tifa yelled at her old-friend, ex-ShinRa grunt soldier, one-time planet saver, ex-mercenary, and slacker Cloud Strife, the man whom many formed theories as to his hair gel affecting his brain, but that's another story. "You PROMISED me you'd buy an apartment. And that was 3 YEARS ago!" At best the area where they were living in now could be described as a 'crap-hole that made that shitty Northern Crater look like a palace,' as Cid had :ahem: colorfully put it.
"Yeesh Tifa calm down. People are gonna think were married or goin' out or something. Besides, like I told you I've got no money." Cloud stated, doing his trade mark shoulder shrug.
"What about that huge wad of money that was your share from saving the world?" Tifa inquired, pointing at HUGE ball of money on top of a metal box that at one point might have been a refrigerator. "Umm…. Hey I got an idea! I know about this mansion that we could live in for free!"
"Really! Aww, thanks Cloud you always come through for me, eventually." She gave him a huge bear hug and they continued on their way to Cloud's supposed mansion.
"YUFFIE!" Godo screamed at the top of his lungs, looking about as agitated as Barret when he was only steps away from President ShinRa. Yuffie walked into the room in a carefree easy going manor.
"Yeah dad?" Yuffie inquired, acting like she did every time he started yelling.
"You haven't gotten any work done, but you still dwindle down our money like the termite destroys the wood." At that precise moment Godo's face was about as red as the fur at the end of Nanaki's fur. "We're kicking you out of town so that you'll learn to work for room and board. Have fun."
"Wha-" Before Yuffie could finish her sentence, a group of people carrying a large piece of wood ran into the room, hoisted Yuffie onto the wood, and ran off. "Is this REALLY necessary?" "Of course, it's tradition." One of the wood carriers answered. Yuffie was about to ask how running the town leader's daughter out of town on a piece of wood became a tradition, but they had reached the town limits.
"Cid, if we're going to have a kid, don't you think we should get a bigger house?" Shera, semi-desperately asked Cid. After Cid returned from his journey there was even more crap on their floor.
"What the fuck do ya mean? You know we got no money. People just don't give a fucking rat's ass anymore about flying." Needless to say, Cid's tour job wasn't going to well. After the Meteor incident people wanted to 'walk' to places and actually get some 'exercise' for a change.
"Hmm, how to convince an old, has-been, washed up, pilot to go somewhere?" Now it was Shera's turn to use Cloud's tactic. "Hey darling I know this great old mansion that has a lot of old machines in it. If we lived there, which we could, for free, you could always tinker around-" Shera turned around to Cid completely packed with his spear in one hand and his bags in the other.
"C'mon, ya fuckin' snail let's get this show those shitty-ass roads."
"Daddy, Daddy, DADDY!" Marlene screeched into her father's enormous ears. "You said someday you'd buy us a new house with all that money you stole from Rufus! Her father, finally coming to, merely responded with a grunt.
"Marlene, ya know we can't move anywhere. We gotta stay here and help rebuild Mid-" A number of rifle shots sliced through Barret's voice and was heard by all.
"Barret Wallace, come out with your hands up. Rufus wants to interrogate you. So, ya know, could you please come out quietly? C'mon man, it's my first day on the job and I want it to go well. Besides I'm only doing this job so I can" Barret didn't bother to hear why this recruit was doing this and quickly ran through the back door, all though he could have sworn he mentioned the words Rufus, I was really drunk, and I woke up in someone's bed the next morning. 'Hmm, jes what I need. Looks like I'll have to hide out at the old ShinRa place for a while.
"Must, finish, paperwork." Reeve's eyes were completely bloodshot, and one or two blood vessels had actually burst. He stared down at his stack of paperwork that needed to be finished, by 10:00 that night, and it was 9:45. 'How the hell do they expect to run the company when I retire?' His thoughts were soon interrupted as he heard footsteps running down the stairs. He turned to see most of the higher executives and Rufus running down to someplace. Scarlet stopped and approached him.
"Hey Reeve, Rufus asked us what 'alcohol' was, so we're all taking him down to a bar to get him drunk and ask for raises. Whoa, Reeve you look horrible. You know what you need, a vacation." This what she said, but what she was thinking was a little different. 'Kyahahahah, oh I'll find some way to blackmail him for this'
"Nope. There's no way I can leave all this paper work unfinished." Another one of Reeve's blood vessels in his eyes burst.
"Umm you do know that you have underlings to do that right?" In actuality he had no clue that he had underlings, but he wasn't about to let Scarlet get any dirt on him.
"Of course I know that, there umm just all on a coffee break." Scarlet's hand quickly met her forehead.
"All right that's it, as your superior I'm forcing you to take a mandatory six weeks of vacation at the ShinRa mansion. You leave, right now. Come here, our newestTurk!"Cait sith came outwearing ablue suit and sunglasses,did one of there long, and very arrogant entrances, grabbed Reeve, hoisted him up on a piece of wood, and quickly ran down the buildings ridiculous amount of stairs.
"Turks!" Rufus quickly yelled as the three members walked casually into his office. "You haven't got any work done since you were made head, after Tseng retired, Reno!"
"What work boss?" Reno asked with genuine clueless ness.
"Incompetent, ughh that work, that huge pile of work on your desk! Rufus was about to pop a few of his own blood vessels.
"Wait. I, have a desk? Awesome! Man I gotta break that baby in."
"Arrgh that's it! You're all fired! Courtesy of Reno!" And so Elena and Rude proceeded to carry Reno out to an alley behind the building and beat the living crap out of him.
"Reno! You jerk, now where are we gonna live?"
"Yo, calm down Elena, we still have that Cloud tracker right?"
"Oh I see, if we kill Cloud, we can get on the President's good side."
"Nope, we'll just go live with Cloud. I'm sure he won't mind."