A/N: Thanks to Mariann for being the best beta ever. She rocks, and went
over and over Dawn's dialogue with me to make it perfect. See General
Disclaimer for Credits.
The memories rushed over Spike, causing his eyes to tear up. It was all he could do to keep from crying out, but he couldn't seem to stop the rush of images. There he was, lying on the ground, blood gushing from the knife wound in his back. He had lain there, disoriented from the fall, and stared up at the tower. He could do nothing but watch as Buffy had flown over the edge of the tower and landed into the portal. He struggled valiantly to get up, to somehow save the two girls that meant the most to him. Instead, all he could do was lay there and watch as she sacrificed her life for him, her friends, and the entire world. The fact that had only made him love her more and the more he loved her, the more it killed him that she was dead.
Spike was a rational vampire, most of the time. He understood that she had never loved him, that it was never really a possibility. No one who was as good and pure as she was could ever love something as evil and cold as he was. She had given all for him anyway. That's what made a true hero. He took another sip of alcohol, relishing the way it burned down into his gut. The fiery feeling was a form of punishment, as well as a means to eventual escape.
Another memory assailed him, this one even harder to get out of his mind. Dawn was sobbing her eyes out, clinging to him like he was some kind of lifeline, and she, a drowning victim. She was still wearing the black ritual gown, her feet bare. He'd had no idea how she'd been able to walk back to the Watcher's apartment without shoes, but at the time he hadn't cared either. All that had mattered was getting her to calm down, and start talking about what had happened after he'd been thrown off the tower. Willow and Tara had clung to each other on the opposite end of the couch, while Anya and Xander had shared the oversize armchair. Anya was half- asleep, due to the head injury. A stop at the hospital had confirmed a concussion, so Xander had to keep waking her up.
"Pet? You've got to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick." Spike had told her, wiping tears off her face. This was killing him. It was bad enough that he had his own grief over Buffy, but to watch Dawn's...he had hardly been able to stand it.
"Calm down?!" Dawn had exclaimed, choking on the words through her tears. "Buffy is dead! How can you ask me to calm down? You can't tell me how to act! You don't know how it feels..."She had screamed at them, fresh tears running down her face. The silence was awkward, only penetrated by Dawn's crying. Giles chose that moment to wheel in his tea service and pass out cups to everyone but Spike and Dawn. It hadn't mattered, no one had drunk it anyway.
"I hate to bring this up." Giles had begun, "but I wanted to let you know that you can stay here tonight." He had suggested. It would be dark soon, since they had spent most of the morning in the E.R.
"Or with any of us." Willow had offered, rubbing her hand on Dawn's back. After a moment, Dawn had answered them.
"I'd rather just go home. So I can be around them." Dawn said, leaning forward to get a tissue out of the box on the coffee table. As Dawn began wiping her eye with it, Giles had spoken up.
"I'll stay with you." He said. Dawn had just shaken her head, and to Spike's surprise, said that she want him to stay there instead. That had not gone over well with the Whelp, who immediately lost it.
"How could you want him to stay with you? He's the reason Buffy's dead!" Xander had exploded. It had taken everything Spike had not to hurt the boy, but he figured that he didn't need a migraine and an angry Niblet.
"Xander!" Willow and Anya had both replied in unison.
"No!" Xander had shouted, going on. "I've kept quiet about a lot, but this is too much. There are other people here, humans that want to take care of you. You're just like her, though, aren't you? You prefer the monsters. You can't even see the rest of us for him." Xander had yelled at Dawn. Spike had stepped in then. It was one thing to yell at him. It was quite another to yell at his 'Bit.
"I'd take that back, mate." Spike had said, putting emphasis on mate.
"I'm not your mate. None of us are." Xander had replied, his voice low and dangerous.
"That's enough, Xander." Giles hissed traces of Ripper evident. " I think Spike has more than proved that his love for Buffy and Dawn is real. I don't want to hear another word."
That's when he'd been the most shocked, Spike supposed. To have Rupert actually come to his defense was high on the unexpected list, considering they had pretty much shunned him the last couple of weeks. He shook himself out of his thoughts, realizing that he'd been gone awhile. Though Dawn had fallen asleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow, she hadn't slept well the last couple of nights. He had taken her nap as an opportunity to get out and patrol for a few hours. He gave one last look to the headstone, smiling slightly at the epitaph placed on it. Dawn had come up with, of course, but it was true nonetheless. At the thought of Dawn, he stood up and began walking back to the Summer's house.
The memories rushed over Spike, causing his eyes to tear up. It was all he could do to keep from crying out, but he couldn't seem to stop the rush of images. There he was, lying on the ground, blood gushing from the knife wound in his back. He had lain there, disoriented from the fall, and stared up at the tower. He could do nothing but watch as Buffy had flown over the edge of the tower and landed into the portal. He struggled valiantly to get up, to somehow save the two girls that meant the most to him. Instead, all he could do was lay there and watch as she sacrificed her life for him, her friends, and the entire world. The fact that had only made him love her more and the more he loved her, the more it killed him that she was dead.
Spike was a rational vampire, most of the time. He understood that she had never loved him, that it was never really a possibility. No one who was as good and pure as she was could ever love something as evil and cold as he was. She had given all for him anyway. That's what made a true hero. He took another sip of alcohol, relishing the way it burned down into his gut. The fiery feeling was a form of punishment, as well as a means to eventual escape.
Another memory assailed him, this one even harder to get out of his mind. Dawn was sobbing her eyes out, clinging to him like he was some kind of lifeline, and she, a drowning victim. She was still wearing the black ritual gown, her feet bare. He'd had no idea how she'd been able to walk back to the Watcher's apartment without shoes, but at the time he hadn't cared either. All that had mattered was getting her to calm down, and start talking about what had happened after he'd been thrown off the tower. Willow and Tara had clung to each other on the opposite end of the couch, while Anya and Xander had shared the oversize armchair. Anya was half- asleep, due to the head injury. A stop at the hospital had confirmed a concussion, so Xander had to keep waking her up.
"Pet? You've got to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick." Spike had told her, wiping tears off her face. This was killing him. It was bad enough that he had his own grief over Buffy, but to watch Dawn's...he had hardly been able to stand it.
"Calm down?!" Dawn had exclaimed, choking on the words through her tears. "Buffy is dead! How can you ask me to calm down? You can't tell me how to act! You don't know how it feels..."She had screamed at them, fresh tears running down her face. The silence was awkward, only penetrated by Dawn's crying. Giles chose that moment to wheel in his tea service and pass out cups to everyone but Spike and Dawn. It hadn't mattered, no one had drunk it anyway.
"I hate to bring this up." Giles had begun, "but I wanted to let you know that you can stay here tonight." He had suggested. It would be dark soon, since they had spent most of the morning in the E.R.
"Or with any of us." Willow had offered, rubbing her hand on Dawn's back. After a moment, Dawn had answered them.
"I'd rather just go home. So I can be around them." Dawn said, leaning forward to get a tissue out of the box on the coffee table. As Dawn began wiping her eye with it, Giles had spoken up.
"I'll stay with you." He said. Dawn had just shaken her head, and to Spike's surprise, said that she want him to stay there instead. That had not gone over well with the Whelp, who immediately lost it.
"How could you want him to stay with you? He's the reason Buffy's dead!" Xander had exploded. It had taken everything Spike had not to hurt the boy, but he figured that he didn't need a migraine and an angry Niblet.
"Xander!" Willow and Anya had both replied in unison.
"No!" Xander had shouted, going on. "I've kept quiet about a lot, but this is too much. There are other people here, humans that want to take care of you. You're just like her, though, aren't you? You prefer the monsters. You can't even see the rest of us for him." Xander had yelled at Dawn. Spike had stepped in then. It was one thing to yell at him. It was quite another to yell at his 'Bit.
"I'd take that back, mate." Spike had said, putting emphasis on mate.
"I'm not your mate. None of us are." Xander had replied, his voice low and dangerous.
"That's enough, Xander." Giles hissed traces of Ripper evident. " I think Spike has more than proved that his love for Buffy and Dawn is real. I don't want to hear another word."
That's when he'd been the most shocked, Spike supposed. To have Rupert actually come to his defense was high on the unexpected list, considering they had pretty much shunned him the last couple of weeks. He shook himself out of his thoughts, realizing that he'd been gone awhile. Though Dawn had fallen asleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow, she hadn't slept well the last couple of nights. He had taken her nap as an opportunity to get out and patrol for a few hours. He gave one last look to the headstone, smiling slightly at the epitaph placed on it. Dawn had come up with, of course, but it was true nonetheless. At the thought of Dawn, he stood up and began walking back to the Summer's house.