A/N: Given that this entire fic was based entirely around the line in a summary for one of the season 4 Degrassi episodes, I must say I doubt how well it'll actually turn out.

Oh, and what was the line? "Spinner and Jay get drunk." I'm sure you can guess how this'll go based solely upon that and the history of what sort of Degrassi fics I write.

Title taken from a song by the band Vermont.

The Bells of Saint Alcohol

By Cradlerobber Speedo-kun

Spinner giggled uncharacteristically, "Jay, that must've been your tenth beer!" He was sitting on the floor of Jay's apartment, beer cans scattered around him. Jay had just downed yet another can of beer, flinging away the empty can in disgust afterwards. He pulled the tab on yet another, and it was gone in less than a minute. Spinner giggled again, already completely drunk. He hadn't had anything since it became clear that he was utterly smashed, owing to his inability to keep hand-eye coordination up and the fact that Jay took this as God's way of telling him that this just meant more for himself.

Jay frowned at Spinner, "Asswipe, stop laughing like that, you sound like a friggin' 7th grader. I can't hear the bells when you're so loud."

Spinner blinked, but stopped laughing, "What bellsh?"

"THE bells."

Spinner sat very still and attempted to hear the bells of which Jay was speaking but he failed to. He attempted to shrug, failed miserably, and tried to grab another can of beer. Jay continued to tilt his head to the side and listen to "the bells". But the bells eventually faded, and he re-focused his attention on Spinner and Spinner's poor attempts to get another can of beer. He stared for a few minutes before speaking again.

"Damn, why'd you stop goin' around with Paige, anyway? She's hottt…"

Spinner looked at him, momentarily confused, "Oh! Oh… well… Manny'sh hot…"

"She's been pregnant!"

"Hot in an 'I've-been-pregnant' way."

"You're such an asshole." He suddenly started laughing, "Paige was riiight… she dumped you… I would've dumped you." (1)

Spinner scowled, "Who shaysh I woulda gone out with you, anyway? You probably shuck at kisshing!"

"I'm better at it than you are! I'm even better in bed, too!" Jay slurred, somehow managing to keep his S's intact.

Spinner gave him a serious look, somewhat ruined by his inability to speak correctly, "Then prove it."

It didn't take much a prompt. Jay had grabbed him in a moment, and jammed his tongue down his throat the next. Although thrown off at first by how fast it had happened, Spinner soon settled in, alcohol clouding his reason and homophobia.

Jay was on top of him, hands up his shirt, and Spinner was beginning to fiddle with Jay's belt when Jay suddenly stopped. He gave a self-satisfied smirk down at Spinner, who had reluctantly let go of his belt buckle.

"Told you so."

"Mm," Spinner murmured, trying to get back to his mouth for more.

"That's why everyone wants to be with me! Alex, and Dylan, and Emma, and Tom, and Amy, and… and… now you!"

"You tashte good…" Spinner said, not having paid any attention to Jay's last statement. He found Jay's mouth again and kissed him, "Mm… alcohollll…"

"Yeah, alcohol. Spend the night…" Jay responded, his hands halfway down Spinner's pants.

"Shpend the night… yeah…"

The next morning, Spinner woke up feeling a bit sore and cold. His head was pounding, and he slowly realized where he was - on Jay's kitchen floor. And that he was naked.

He sat up with a start, ignoring the fact that his head reeled in consequence. He looked over, saw Jay in a similarly unclothed fashion, and screamed. Jay slowly gained consciousness, rolled over onto his side, and surveyed the scene. Beer cans, beer bottles, and a screaming, naked Spinner.

"Oh, great, just what I wanted - the title of de-virginalizing Gavin Mason."

He blinked, "All the bad shit always happens to me."

(1) Yeah, he seems kinda ooc, but he's drunk.

(2) I must admit, this entire fic leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not exactly happy with how it turned out.