Paper Thin

By Khavi

A/N: I owe an apology to anyone who was reading Wicked Little Town. I'm so so so sorry that I haven't gotten around to writing the sequel! I've been so wrapped up in my RL/SS fic that I just haven't gotten around to it! I'm really sorry for the delay! I'm smoking like a chimney right now trying to get this fic out there for you all to read. Arg. Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy it!

Delicate is your heart

If you move, it may stop

You run around unaware

How delicate each beat

Trembles in my ear

Remus could not believe it. He just couldn't believe what the people were saying. Sirius Black had fallen off his broom during the match against Ravenclaw. It was just impossible! Sirius had been reckless on a broom, sure, but he always had the reflexes and wit to be safe. Always.

Even though he knew it was impossible, Remus couldn't stop himself from running down the corridors trying to get to the hospital wing. The sound of his shoes hitting cold stone was the only thing to accompany him on his journey. He'd been in such a rush, that he'd left all his school belonging scattered on the common room tables as he fled the Tower.

If only he hadn't been studying! He should have been there for Sirius, not concentrating on his Potions work! But even James' probing and Sirius' taunting hadn't been able to draw him away from what he considered to be more important. If he'd been there, at the match with all the bustling crowd and excitement, he'd be at the infirmary already. Instead, some third year had to run up and tell him that something was even wrong!

James couldn't because he'd been on the playing field when it happened and had been one of the ones to take Sirius to the nurse. Peter had of course, followed James. But he at least had enough sense to tell one of the worried Gryffindors to run back and get Remus. When the blonde heard, he'd of course taken off like a rocket out of there, leaving the panting third year behind.

Remus almost screamed in frustration when one of the open corridors suddenly became very solid right in front of him. He slammed his palm against the rock and turned to find the next fastest rout there. If only he had been able to appirate inside the school! That stupid rule was keeping him from his mate, who desperately needed him!

Remus was wasting time and he knew. Agitated, and running out of options, he hurried to the closest hidden passage and ducked in. It was damp and rank with the smell of sweat, but he didn't care as long as it got him to Sirius. After a few minutes of stumbling around in the dark, he came to the end of the corridor and emerged near the infirmary. Quickly, the blonde made his way through the throng of students who were crowded around the entrance. Madame Czjaka was scowling and trying to force students to back up. In all the noise, Remus was able to make out a few of the more frantic calls.

"But will he be alright?"

"Has he regained consciousness?"

"Are his lungs-"

"Please!" her shrill voice rang out. " Everyone, back up! I need to get back to him, so I can't just stay here talking with you!" She was a thin, older woman with graying hair and crooked glasses, but her presence was one that demanded respect. "Now, I'll start deducting points if you don't all move along!"

"Madame Czjaka!" he cried, pushing a 5th year out of his way. The 5th year grunted, but recognizing him, said nothing.

She looked around, but being a short woman, didn't see him at first. When she did, her face brightened and she motioned him over. A slight path cleared, and he was able to reach her.

"Lupin! Come here, lad." She urged, pulling him by the hem of his sleeve.

He thanked her, gratefully, and hurried in. The infirmary was white and smelled sterile. He didn't like it, but as long as it would make Sirius well again, he didn't care. Glancing around, he saw a few of the other patients looking over at him, and then back to the area where the whole Quiditch team was huddled. Their bright uniforms were spattered with mud, and a few of the younger girls were crying. Even the 6th year boys looked near tears.

Remus spotted James kneeling next to the bed, holding their unconscious friends hand. Peter was standing in the corner, wringing his hands nervously. He was the first to spot the werewolf.

"Remus!" he cried, moving twords him. "Remus he-"

"I know" Remus snapped, pressing forward. "Please, let me through!" he growled, making his way closer to the cold bed.

"James, is he…?"

"I don't know, Moons. He-"

"What happened?" the blonde murmured, kneeling beside his messy haired friend. Sirius was lying with his head to the side, his dark eyes closed. He looked unusually pale and clammy. The newly pressed sheets were pulled up to his abdomen, exposing the white bandages that were wrapped firmly around his chest.

Remus felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked at Sirius.

Still waiting for an answer to how this could have happened, he turned back to James. James shook his head, at a loss for what to say.

"Just tell me what you know…" Remus said, not wanting to look at his long haired companion any longer. The pain in his throat was tightening as he thought about what might have happened.

"Er, well…I-I don't know." James said, shaking his head. When Remus shot him a look, he started again. "I mean, he was flying near one of the goal posts and he sort of, I don't know, lurched and just fell." James finished, shaking his head again.

Men will be boys

With fire and toys and football

And I will always be aware

How delicate each beat

Trembles in my ear

Paper thin is how we begin

And we move from there

Remus decided to stay the night, just to see if Sirius regained conciseness. James and Peter had gone back to the common room with the rest of the team and concerned visitors. Lily Evens had taken James gently by the arm and led him out. James couldn't stay because he was captain of the team and had to discuss their options if Sirius didn't wake. Peter just left because he was uncomfortable being there.

Madame Czjaka explained to Remus that Sirius had punctured a lung and gotten himself a concussion. She also explained that he'd suffered a great deal of weight loss in the past month and that was why he probably fell. He just didn't have the energy to keep flying. She told him that if Sirius regained consciousness, not to give him anything except for the drought she'd prepared. Remus was to inform her of his awakening imminently so that she could ask any questions that were necessary for her to determine whether there would be a problem with his treatment.

Remus sighed and leaned his head sleepily against the table. He wanted to stay awake in case Sirius did happen to waqke up. He didn't want his friend to have to be alone in that cold room all alone, not knowing what happened. Unhappily, he sat up again and took out a book. Peter had dropped it off for him when Remus told him that he'd be staying the night. For that, Remus was grateful. At leaset it gave him soemthign to do. It was going to be a logn night.

After about an hour of read and rereading the same page over and over without absorbing any of it, Remus sighed and put it back down. He glanced at his watched and saw that it was only 3:20. Not knowing what else to do, he picked up the lantern and turned it up, illuminating the space.

He smoothed his hair back and glanced over at the sleeping man next to him. Tenderly, he brushed a few stray strands of hair away and let out a breath.

"How do you get yourself into these messes?" he asked softly. The light flickered and danced off the walls. It played over Sirius' gaunt face. 'You really have lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" he murmured. "Why?"

The blond yawned and stretched, trying not to think about it. After all, it was probably nothing. Just stress, or water weight or something like that. Maybe Sirius was just dehydrated. Remus growled and cracked his back. He was tired and wanted to sleep, but more than that, he wanted to stay awake.

As he was settelign back into his seat, he noticed that Sirius' eyes were open, and that he was watching him.

"Sirius!" he gasped, hand clutching his heart. "How long have you been awake, mate?"

"Oi…Moons? I uh, few minutes I think" he wheezed. He looked confused as to where he was, so Remus explained for him.

"You fell off your broom, mate."

"Oh…" Sirius grunted, trying to sit. "Ooohhh!" he groaned, touching his chest in pain.

"And you punctured a lung." Remus added, looking at Sirius.

Sirius nodded and grinned. "No kidding? As if I couldn't figure that out" he grumbled. He lowered his eyes then, and looked over the side of the bed. "Oi, Moons. Is my bag there?"

"Er…" Remus looked down and saw that it was. Peter must have dropped that off too when he brought the book. "Yeah, here you go." He said, lifting the satchel and handing it to Sirius. He watched with interest as Sirius shuffled through it. "What are you…?" he trailed off as he saw Sirius withdraw a syringe.

Before he could do anything, Sirius held out his arm and inserted the needle. The smaller Gryffindor gasped as his friend pushed down and the liquid ran into his vein.

"Pads! Stop that! What do you think you're-"he began, reaching for it.

"Relax" the other muttered, taking it out.. he closed his eyes and smiled. "ahh.."

"What was…?"

"It's called heroine." He said, turning to look at Remus.

I can hold your heart in my hand

Feel each bets demand

Your paper skin and the universe within

And I will always be aware

How delicate each beat

Trembles in my ear.

"What do you mean? What is it? Is it…?" Remus demanded, leaning forward to see what Sirius was doing.

His long haired friend was rubbing his arm where he'd inserted the needle. The skin there was thin, and Remus could clearly see the veins under it. They were prominent and revolted him.

"Sirius…" he began, regarding him with worry. "What is it? Is it another one of those-"

"Muggle things? Yeah, it is. It's uh.."

"Sirius!" the blonde snarled. "What are you thinking? Not even a month ago, you nearly-"

"Nearly what, Remus? Look, I had a bad trip. But this stuff. It's just…wow." He breathed. "You wanna try it?"

Remus was aghast. Did he want to try it? "No! No, Sirius! And I want you to stop this as well!"

He put a hand on his friends arm. He tightened his hold, firmly pulling Sirius closer to him. Startled, Sirius let him. Remus shook his head is disbelief. How could Sirius be so stupid?

"Are you…angry with me?" Sirius asked carefully. He balanced his head against the blondes shoulder and awaited the answer.

"Am I angry? Of course I'm angry, you fucking berk! After the last time, you think you would have learned something!"

He snarled and pulled Sirius even closer. As he did so, he was able to feel the other mans pulse beating against his chest. The warmth that the contact brought surprised Remus. Considerign how cold the room was, he'd expected Sirius to be cold to. But on the contrary, he was very warm. Soft breath tickled his ear as Sirius exhailed onto him. The thinness of the man in his arms frightened Remus.

"Sirius…um…is the muggle thing…heroine…what's making you loose weight?"

"Uh, I geuss so…."

Remus didn't need to hear more. He tightened his hold on Sirius and buried his head in the mass of Sirius' long brown hair. He couldn't believe it. Sirius was deliberately hurting himself, and for what? A temporarily good feeling? He didn't know Sirius was so weak.

Without considering, the consequences, Remus wrapped his hand around the back or Sirius' neck and held him in an almost painful grip. Slowly, he pulled back and looked into the sunken eyes of his friend. They were dark and almost dead looking. Choking back a sob, he kissed Sirius on the temple. He never wanted to see him like this again.

Sirius leaned into the affectionate gesture and closed his eyes.

Paper thin is how we begin
And we move from there
So stay warm
And safe from harm
In my garden is where you belong

Paper skin is how we begin
And we move from there
Paper thin is how we begin
And move from there

When Sirius allowed the kiss, Remus felt a little more confident. Gently, he lowed his face and kissed the other man on the cheek. Never being the patient one, Sirius turned his head and caught Remus in a full kiss. His lips were cool and thin, but Remus loved it anyway. Cautiously, he stroked the sides of Sirius' face. His cheeks were hollow and the bones there were enticing.

He became aware or Sirius touching him softly, urging him to sit on the bed with him. Unsure, Remus followed the urging and sat next to him. They stayed like that for a long time. Just kissing, and exploring and touching. After a while, Remus broke away and looked at Sirius.

His breath was coming in shallow little gasps. He looked hurt and vulnerable. Seeing him like that made Remus realize just how young he really was. He was only 17, of course he was going to make mistakes. But if possible, Remus wanted to keep him from making as many of them as he could.

"Sirius, listen to me mate. You've got to stop this. It's serious stuff you're into. Dangerous stuff…" he tried to explain.

Sirius just looked at him not speaking. He looked upset, but if he was, he didn't say anything. He just nodded, making a silent promise to try. And that was enough for Remus. Even if it was fleeting, it was soemthign. A start, if nothing else.

"Sirius, I care about you. Please…Please don't do this to yourself."

"I know…" he murmured, not sounding convinced.

After a while, Sirius straightened himself up.

"So, uh…The match…did we win?"

Remus was so startled, that he laughed. Pulling Sirius into a fierce hug, he smiled.

"Yeah, mate. You kicked their asses."

Paper thin is my heart
If you move, it may stop
You run around unaware
Of how delicate each beat
Trembles in here...

Fin

A/N: Thanks for reading, everyone. I have been smoking so much today and drinking nothing but tea and coffee that I think that's all my body is going on right now. Nicotine and caffeine. Lord almighty, I have to rest. I hope you enjoyed it.