Hi all! Contrary to popular belief, I'm not dead. I've just been incredibly busy. (Stupid school) I can't promise weekly updates, but I'll try for every two or three. So, if anyone's still out there, I give you Chapter 19!

Remus' PoV

"Someone turn off the bloody sun," mutters Sirius from my bed. I smile from my place in the window seat as I watch him struggle with the blankets and fall off the bed.

"It's about time you woke up," I say as I walk over to help him up.

"About time?" he says indignantly, "it can't be long after seven!"

"Try ten," I say as he heads in the direction of the bathroom, "and hurry up, Mum made breakfast." It's not as if my mother never makes breakfast, it's just not a very common occurrence. Since my father always sleeps through breakfast, it's the one meal a day that she's not obligated to cook. No, my father used to sleep through breakfast; as in past tense. I hit myself lightly on the head; I can't do things like that to myself.

Sirius returns looking slightly more awake and as soon as he's struggled into his clothing (it was a close fight, but Sirius won in the end) we make our way downstairs. Mum is standing at the stove flipping pancakes when we enter. "Morning mum," I say cheerfully.

"Morning boys," she answers, but when she turns to face us she doesn't look directly at us. After eighteen years I can read my mother pretty well and she's now obviously uneasy. I know she said last night that she was alright with our relationship, but actions speak louder than words. The display we put on wasn't the right place or time. By her first reaction I should have known that she was uncomfortable with 'us'. I suppose that I was so relieved that I didn't take her presence into consideration. Sirius and I are both very physical people, probably a result of not having enough physical attention when we were young. He's worse than I am, but he's got two terrible parental units, I've only got one. Maybe I'll write mum a letter and apologize. I know that if I talked to her she would deny it and I would screw up what I wanted to say. I make a mental note to do so once we are in London again.

Sirius and I sit down at the table and fill our cups with juice. "It looks wonderful Mum," I say.

"Thank you darling," she says. The conversation seems unnatural. I feel Sirius' hand rest on my leg under the table. It's a game we play often, but today it doesn't seem right; at least not here. I gently shove the hand away and place both of mine on the table top. He gives me a hurt look, but places his on the table too and starts eating as if he hadn't eaten in weeks; in other words normally. Great, now I'll have to explain the whole situation to Sirius and make sure he doesn't get mad at me. He can be such a child sometimes.

To divert my attention and his I reach for the newspaper which is sitting next to the milk jug. The headline proclaims three dead as the result of a half blood killing. The criminals were masked and no suspects have been announced. This is what it always says, but everyone knows who's behind it. Voldemort is gaining power and it can only be a matter of time before I too am affected; I am a half breed after all.

When breakfast is finally eaten I grab Sirius and we make a hasty retreat to my room. "Lots to pack and their expecting us back tonight," I say as we exit.

"Thanks for breakfast Mrs. Lupin," calls Sirius as he hurries after me, "it was great."

As soon as we enter my room, Sirius says, "What was that about?" He fixes me with a pointed stare.

"I know that you probably don't realize it, but our being together makes people uncomfortable. I don't think that we should be as obvious about it, especially in front of Mum," I say.

"It never used to bother you before," Sirius states coolly.

"I know," I say pleadingly, "but this is my mother, not the prejudiced side of Hogwarts. I know she says she's okay with us, but it obviously makes her uncomfortable. She didn't look either one of us in the eye that entire meal." I don't want a fight with Sirius; not now.

"Alright," he says, "I won't touch you when she's in the room." He kisses me on the lips briefly and then says, "Well we better get started. You've got a lot of stuff for us to clear out Moony." I smile and heave a silent sigh of relief. I love my mum, but that has got to be the most awkward meal I've ever eaten.

We start packing my things into boxes which we shrink for easy travel when full. The hard part is deciding what to take. Most of my clothes had been with me at Hogwarts, but my summer things are here. I also must make decisions about my furniture. We decide to take my bed and desk for our room. The bed can be enlarged slightly, and it's always good to have a good writing surface. The rest of the things we have to sort through are old things mostly from my childhood and things that I couldn't take to Hogwarts in my seventh year.

We work steadily until about one o'clock. It is at that time that I find an old photo album. When I flip it open I choke slightly and say as lightly as possible, "Sirius I'm getting hungry, why don't you go fix us some lunch?" I ask.

"Alright," he says, "what do you want?"

"Whatever is down there," I say, "ask mum to help you find something." I just want him to leave. I've been way too open with him lately. I worked so hard to build my figurative emotional wall, and then Sirius came in and knocked it down. Emotion like this is weakness and self pity. A werewolf doesn't have room for self pity; I'd do nothing else but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I also don't need to let Sirius see it.

"Okay," Sirius says, "see you in a bit." He walks out the room, down the hall, and down the stairs. I open the album again to the first page that contains a picture of my mother, father, and me when I was about three. As I flip through the pictures they get less happy. There's even one of my father beating my mother that I had took at the age of seven. I had thought at the time that I could use as evidence against him if he was ever arrested. I forgot that I'd taken that picture. In the album there are also pictures of my friends and fellow classmates at Hogwarts, mostly from my first four years. The newer ones of my friends are in another album in my trunk.

When I get to the end I'm torn about what I should do. I hate him, yet I love him too. He's my father, and yet he's more of a monster than me. No, he was more of a monster than me. In the end I decide to save only three pictures with my father present; the first one where we were happy, the one of him beating my mother, and one taken the summer before he died. I also keep all the ones with my friends and the ones with my mother and myself. The rest I take to the bathroom and set on fire with my wand in the sink.

I smile a satisfied smile as I rinse the ashes down the drain. I'm washing away a bad part of my life doing this I tell myself. He can't hurt me anymore. I hear Sirius' voice drifting up the stairs. "Thank you Mrs. Lupin." I hurry back to my room and continue packing.

Sirius' PoV

It's been a month and a half since we got settled here. The trip to Remus' was, while uncomfortable, very productive and Remus receives an owl once a week from his mother which he faithfully replies. James has started training with England's Quidditch team and will play when the season starts. Peter and Jen have both taken jobs at the Ministry. Lily is working at Saint Mungo's as an apprentice healer. Remus has taken a job at a local Muggle market to make some money and so that we get a discount on food prices. I've also taken a job working at a Muggle cinema until Auror training starts in September. The things Muggles come up with never cease to amaze me. I also can take Remus there for free. We can't act couple like, but in the dark of the theater he sometimes lets me hold his hand.

Remus sent in his application for the university when his N.E.W.T.s scores arrived. He did very well and was third in the class at Hogwarts. The university is in London, and he would do well there. He's been waiting for a reply for a month. Well today it came and I'm waiting for him to come home so we can open it.

It's been a violent summer. Killings and torturing have been happening more and more. We try to ignore it, but it seems inevitable that it will affect us soon. Especially me because of the line of work I plan to pursue. I've heard rumors that my family supports it which doesn't surprise me, but makes me angry that they can't see past their stupid traditional ways.

The door opens and Remus comes stumbling in, two bags full of groceries in his arms. I hurry over to him and take one of the bags. We head to the small kitchen where I set my burden on the table that barely has enough room for all of us and has boxes for seats around it. As soon as Remus sets down his bag I kiss him. He smiles and we set to the task of unloading the bags. It's his week to cook, so he starts the task when we're done.

The delegation of chores was set up by Lily within the first week of our living here. We all have a week when we cook, but since Remus is by far the best at it he does it more often than not. I like to help him do this chore because I get to spend time with him like this; just simple moments. Merlin I'm getting sappy. I'm also learning the great art of cooking so that when I cook it doesn't turn out tasting like charcoal.

James and Peter arrive home just as dinner is finished cooking. As we sit down at our cramped table to eat our pasta I say, "A letter came for you from the university today Remus."

"Thanks for letting me know so soon Padfoot," he says jokingly, but there is an edge of nervousness to his voice. "I'll open it after dinner." He resumes eating, but not much more food makes it to his mouth. It does, however, make great amounts of distance around his plate.

When the dishes have been washed (by Peter and James) we head into our living room where everyone else settles onto our mismatched furniture. I hand Remus his letter and retreat to my armchair by the empty fireplace. Remus' hands are shaking slightly, but otherwise he is the picture of control.

He tears the envelope open slowly and pulls out the parchment that's inside. His eyes scan the paper quickly and then he sags into his end of the couch that he's sharing with Peter. "I… I didn't get in," he says heavily after a thick moment of silence. His face is devoid of all emotion, but his hands are shaking more violently now even though he has then clasped together on his lap.

"But your grades are so good!" exclaims Peter, "Why wouldn't they let you in?"

"Because of what I am," he replies quietly. Peter's face goes from one of confusion to one of guilt at having forgotten this rather crucial fact. The silence is deafening and I don't know what to do. He's upset, but it would be like pulling teeth to get him to admit that.

Then inspiration strikes me and I say, "I'm cold." James looks at me like he's not sure if he should laugh or punch me in the face.

"So put a sweater on," says Remus, "although it's the middle of August; you shouldn't be cold."

"I'd prefer it if you warmed me up," I say.

"I believe that's our cue to leave Wormtail," says James as he practically jumps out of his chair. Remus also gets up as the other two exit the room and walks over to stand in front of me.

"How exactly do you propose I do that Mr. Padfoot," he says.

"Why by sitting on me of course," I say playfully while still trying to transfer the fact that I want to comfort him. He smiles weakly and seats himself on my lap. I put my arms around him and we sit like that for a long time.

We're interrupted by Professor Dumbledore's voice coming from our empty fireplace. "If anyone is there would you mind lighting a fire so I can come through?" I reach for my wand and light it, while Remus gets up and returns to the other side of the room where he opens a book. As soon as Dumbledore is through though, he sets it down again.

"There's really no point in dancing around the subject," says Dumbledore as soon as greetings and formalities have been exchanged, "I'm assuming you got your letter Remus?" Remus nods yes and Dumbledore continues. "Well it really seems a waste of a Hogwarts education if you don't follow the path you want to, so here is my offer; I would like to personally teach you what you would have learned in the university plus a little extra if you're willing."

"Really?" says Remus in disbelief.

"Yes," says Dumbledore. Before Remus can say anything else he adds, "And I'm not doing this because I feel sorry for you so don't say anything Mr. Lupin. I will see you on September the first at nine o'clock sharp. You can come by floo; the address is Professor Dumbledore's office. Goodbye boys."

Without further comment, he walks to the fireplace, takes a pinch of floo from the pot and vanishes. 'It will never cease to amaze me how that man knows everything," says Remus after both of us has had a moment to take in what just happened.

I laugh and say, "The world may never know." Then after a pause I say, "Let's turn in early tonight." He agrees and we head off for our bedroom.

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