Replies to reviewers:
Jazzcat - keep in mind that, while she could hurt Eomer for kissing her, she really isn't sure about her feelings. She likes the guy but does not want to commit. She didn't mind the kiss, just what it represented. Her solution is to just avoid letting him do these things, which just confuse her more.
The Truest Friends
Chapter 9
The day Eomer had long awaited finally came. After checking his injuries, Linwe declared him sufficiently healed to dispense with the bandages and crutch. He would be allowed to resume his normal activities, though she warned him to take it easy for awhile and continue to let the bones knit as long as possible.
His first thought was to find Kareswen and set Gamling the task of locating her. Her preferred habitats in Edoras were few, so it wasn't difficult to discover she was in a paddock adjoining the stables, exercising Leander. Eomer promptly made a beeline there, and found great pleasure in both the walking and being able to lean on the fence unimpeded.
Kareswen had noticed his approach but said nothing. When she eventually moved close enough to hear, he opened the conversation.
"You've been avoiding me," he commented quietly.
"Yes."
For a moment he was startled, but then realized he shouldn't have been – she had always been very deliberate in her actions so it wasn't surprising that she didn't apologize for them.
"Why?" he asked, unwilling to leave it alone.
She sighed, "Because you persist in trying to get me to stay when I've already told you that I can't. I don't want to quarrel with you, Eomer. I would prefer to leave on friendly terms, but if you can't accept my decision then maybe that isn't possible. Leander is well now. We will be leaving the day after tomorrow."
"Is it me or my position you are avoiding? I can't change the fact that I'm King of Rohan. I never sought the position, but it fell to me as the next in line when my uncle and cousin were killed. Rohan needs me to lead them. Why can't you accept that?"
"I do accept that. But I don't choose to be a part of it. I would not fit as a member of a royal court, no matter how much you may wish it." She turned to face him, and added, "Forget about me, Eomer, and get on with your life. And I will get on with mine, as I always intended to do."
He turned and quickly strode away, trying to mask the hurt from her words. Only when he was back in his room did he realize she had never actually answered his question. It was clear she was avoiding his position, but was she also avoiding him? She had never expressed feelings for him that were either good or bad, never said whether she had any feelings for him or not. If her response to his kisses meant anything, she was not so oblivious as she would like to appear. There had to be a way to make this work.
Eowyn came to his mind and it occurred to him that, although their circumstances were not precisely the same, perhaps she could help in this matter. Hastily he headed for her room and knocked. When there was no answer he made for the Golden Hall and there found her in conversation with Faramir. They both looked up as he entered.
He was inclined to speak to his sister alone, but then decided perhaps Faramir could provide helpful input as well. "Sister, I must speak with you – about Kareswen." Faramir looked questioningly at him, so he added, "Please stay, Faramir. You may be of help also."
He took a seat near them and stared at his hands a moment before beginning, "She says she wouldn't fit as a member of the royal court. Eowyn, you never were a traditional royal – why is it so different for her than for you? You adjusted; why couldn't she?"
Eowyn took a deep breath and then answered, "Our situations are somewhat different, Eomer. Yes, I sought battle and glory in victory. Yes, I felt at home wielding a sword. But I also was comfortable serving in the royal court and living a royal lifestyle. In some ways, it was harder for me because I had a foot in both worlds but neither wanted to accept me. Kareswen has firmly chosen her realm and situation. She knows who she is and what she wants, and she has no one to answer to – to tell her she cannot do as she chooses. I had men telling me I could not fight, and my own heart telling me I could not be content with domestic dullness. Only through Faramir have I been able to find a world where all of me is valued. While the royal court of Gondor likely sees me as wild and untamed – a barbarian from Rohan – my husband allows me to be the person I choose to be. I have found a way to exist in both worlds, at least enough to satisfy my needs." She paused and smiled lovingly at Faramir.
Continuing, she said, "I am not sure that is possible for Kareswen. She was never part of a royal court. She knows they would not accept her as she is and she knows she is not willing to give up who she is to satisfy them."
"But I would do as Faramir has done! I would let her be what she truly is!" he argued.
Eowyn shifted uncomfortably, then told him, "When she first came, I had a private conversation with her. She acknowledged that you accept her as she is, but she also recognized that as King you would be expected to behave in a certain way, and so would anyone with whom you closely associated. Faramir is not King, so people are more tolerant of his 'unusual' wife. They would not feel the same about a King's wife. Queen Arwen, even, does not quite fit into the mold they set and I have heard harsh things said about her. But she is closer to what they expect than Kareswen will ever be. And she has the will to exert her authority when necessary. No one would dare challenge her to her face."
Eomer glanced at Faramir, who nodded at him, "I would have to agree with what Eowyn has told you. The issue really isn't whether or not Kareswen could make a place for herself at your side, it's whether or not she is willing to do so. And right now, much as you may not like it, she does not appear willing."
xxxxx
Supper that evening was a rather silent affair. The most natural topic of conversation would have been either the departure of Eowyn and Faramir for Gondor, or Kareswen's departure for parts unknown. However, no one wanted to mention either as it might lead to an even more tense atmosphere or harsh words.
Eomer found he had little appetite, and he had not eaten much of his meal before he gave up. Glancing around he called, "Dog," and held out the bone, plenty of meat still on it. No point in its going to waste. Without hesitation, Dog rose and came forward to take the offering. Eomer gave him a pat on the head before he moved back to his former spot to enjoy his meal. When Eomer's gaze returned to the table, his eyes met Kareswen's, staring at him with an odd expression. For some reason, it made him feel guilty and he apologized, "I am sorry. I should have asked your permission to give the food to him."
She gave a slight shake of her head in dismissal of the apology and commented, "He does you great honor in accepting it. Dog will not take food from anyone he does not unwaveringly trust, and there are very few people who qualify."
Eomer's eyebrows rose in surprise and he answered, "Then I am indeed honored that he thinks so highly of me. His reputation for being a good judge of character is well known to me."
Kareswen gave a small smile and turned her attention back to her plate, her brow furrowed with unspoken thoughts. Eomer watched her for a moment before looking away; too bad Dog's mistress was not as taken with him as Dog seemed to be.
Eomer rubbed his left shoulder. It had been aching a bit the last few days and was getting rather annoying. Still, he couldn't complain too much since he was at last free of the bandages and crutch that hampered his movement. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed his freedom until now. He hadn't mentioned the ache to Linwe when she had pronounced him well enough to go without bandaging. Perhaps he would visit her tomorrow and ask if there was something he could take for it.
As the meal concluded and they all rose, Eowyn and Faramir excused themselves and disappeared down the hall toward their rooms. Eomer hadn't expected to find himself alone with Kareswen, but fully expected her to find an excuse to leave rather than stay near him.
To his surprise, she observed, "You keep rubbing your shoulder. Is something wrong?"
He nodded, "It aches. Should it be troubling me so much after all this time?"
"Possibly. The Orcs were not gentle about removing the arrow. Do you want me to look at it?"
He couldn't quite believe she was making the offer, but he certainly wasn't going to discourage her, "Thank you. I would appreciate that."
"Remove your tunic and let me see."
He began unfastening his shirt as she motioned for him to follow her closer to the fire for better light. He shivered slightly in the cool air of the room, but the fire felt good.
She reached for his shoulder and gently probed the affected area, looking for any indication of heat or tenderness. "Is it tender to the touch or does it just ache in general?"
He shook his head, "No, it just aches. Touching it doesn't matter."
She removed her hand. "It is not warm or red. I do not think you need be concerned. It was a nasty wound and it may bother you off and on the remainder of your life."
He glared at the floor with annoyance, "Orcs! And now this other man trying to stab me…"
"The Haradrim."
"What?"
"The man was Haradrim."
"How do you know that?" he asked. "He has told us nothing in our questioning of him."
"He has the appearance of the Haradrim and his blade was clearly of Haradrim design. I spent considerable time in Gondor and had ample opportunity to observe the Haradrim, though I avoided interacting with them."
Eomer was frowning, "If that is true, then these attacks on me make more sense. It was never clear why the Orcs took me prisoner - usually they only kill. But it would not be unusual for them to work for someone else who ordered them to keep me alive. When I escaped, this 'trader' may have been the second try on my life, while attempting to throw the blame on Gondor. That would have strained relations nicely. The Haradrim were never happy about the renewed alliance between Gondor and Rohan. Why did you say nothing of this before?"
Kareswen shrugged, "I did not know you didn't recognize the blade design, or that questioning him had availed you nothing."
"I must let Faramir know so he can alert King Elessar to the matter. And for the time being, at least, I will need to take more precautions with my personal safety. They may try again."
She stood there silently then started to turn away. Quietly he asked, "How shall I manage without you here to protect me? Were it not for you, I would be dead three times over."
Gently, but firmly she replied, "Your guards will just need to be more cautious and alert. I did nothing remarkable." Before he could respond, she slipped quickly out the door. Dog paused to stare at him, almost as if he understood, then followed her down the hall.
xxxxx
Kareswen was startled awake by a hard knocking on her door. The darkness of the room left little doubt it was the middle of the night. Quickly she slid to her feet and went to open the door. A servant stood there in night clothes, "My lady, Lord Faramir requests you attend his wife. She is taken ill."
"Does he say what the matter is?"
"No, my lady."
"Very well. I will be with you in a moment." She closed the door and quickly dressed, then grabbed her pack of herbs and plants and left the room. Dog followed her curiously as she accompanied the servant down the hall a few rooms. The servant knocked and entered immediately at Faramir's summons.
Upon spotting her, he hurried forward, "Kareswen, Eowyn is taken ill. Will you help her?" He motioned to the bed where his wife lay palely against the sheets, her eyes closed but her face a mask of concentration.
She moved toward her and took a chair near the bedside, "Eowyn, what is wrong?"
Eowyn's eyes slitted open, "I don't know. I was quite well at supper, but now my stomach is roiling. I have lost my supper but still the nausea continues. Perhaps it is something I ate."
Kareswen shook her head, "I do not think so. You ate the same as we did and no one else is sick." Reaching over she placed her hand on Eowyn's forehead, then reached for the covers, saying over her shoulder, "Some privacy, please, Faramir, so I may examine her. And bring a few more candles so I may see better."
Faramir sent the servant to wait in the hall and then lit more candles and placed them to cast more light on the bed. Kareswen's hands were gently probing Eowyn's stomach and back and watching her for any signs of pain or discomfort at the contact.
Finally, she leaned back in the chair and looked thoughtfully at the woman. "When was your last monthly flow?"
Eowyn looked startled, "What? Oh…I'm not sure. I think I may have missed one…or two."
Kareswen suppressed a grin and asked, "And have your clothes felt a bit snugger than usual?"
Sheepishly Eowyn nodded as she began to realize the direction these questions were leading, "Well, yes, but I haven't been as active here as I usually am…"
"I think it is more than inactivity, Eowyn. I would be very surprised if you are not with child."
"What?" Faramir questioned, his eyes growing wide. "I'm to be a father?"
"It would appear so. There is no sign of tenderness that I might expect from some other ailment and no reason to suspect food is the cause."
She reached for her pack and told Faramir, "Have the servant bring me some very hot water in a bowl, along with a spoon and a mug." She searched through her herbs until she found the one she wanted and pulled a portion out, setting it on the night table.
"I will prepare something for you that should help settle the nausea."
As the servant left, Eomer put in appearance at the door, "What is going on? What's wrong? Gamling said that Eowyn was ill."
Faramir was beaming with pride, but pulled his brother-in-law into the room so Eowyn could be the one to share their news.
"It would seem, brother, that you are to be an uncle!" Eowyn told him. "If Kareswen's judgement is correct, and I do not doubt it."
Eomer looked stunned before breaking into a wide grin that rivaled Faramir's, "An uncle? That's wonderful!"
The men proceeded to participate in the traditional congratulatory back slaps while Eowyn rolled her eyes at Kareswen. "We do most of the work and they take most of the credit!" she whispered.
Kareswen smiled with her and moved to take the hot water from the servant who had appeared at the door. A few moments later, she handed Eowyn a mug to sip slowly. "I've mixed quite a bit here. Reheat it as needed to use in settling your stomach. And try to get some rest, if you can."
When she moved toward the door, Eomer followed. "We should leave them be and let them sleep," he said. "I will depart with you."
Once in the hall, he followed her back to her door. "Thank you for helping Eowyn, and for the good news," he said. Then he stared deep into her eyes for a moment and a look of sorrow shadowed his own eyes. Blinking, he turned away, "Good night, Kareswen."
She watched him move away, and then slowly entered her room.
Kareswen lay awake for a long while after returning to her bed. She hadn't missed the look in Eomer's eyes, and she resented that it made her feel guilty. The sooner she could ride away from here, the better off she'd be. Aside from the reconciliation with Elrond, her association with Men had brought her only trouble, and she wanted nothing more than to return to solely being responsible for herself and her two companions. And yet, there was something that nagged at her. In all her years, life had never been as confusing and frustrating as these past few weeks had been. She willed her troublesome thoughts aside and finally drifted off to sleep.