A/N: I had this all typed up and saved on a disk via an old laptop, but
when I opened it on my computer, I realized that my laptop used
microsoft works, and my computer now uses microsoft word. At any rate,
it was fun trying to get it so it opened up on my computer, but I
managed it, so here ya go. Sorry it's kinda on the short side, but the
chapters get longer. These last couple are short because Buffy is
emotional and her diary entries reflect that.
To Kori Hime: I'm working on making them longer. Thanks for the review! To whereistruth: Post-'Gift' Spike is one of my favorites too. Glad you liked my GG fic, I think I might be continuing it, so look for that. Thanks for all the compliments.
Spike was in shock. He had known that Angelus had switched to the bad side when he'd lost his soul. He'd had no idea that it was because of a night spent shagging the Slayer. No wonder she had been unwilling to have another relationship with a vampire. Her first one had been filled with nothing but heartache.
Spike had never understood how she could refuse to be with him. Suddenly he doubted the things he had thought before. Maybe it was possible that she had loved him. Stop it, he thought to himself. There was no use torturing his mind and heart over something that would never be. Anxious to distract his thoughts, he flipped through the diary again.
Dear Diary,
I'm leaving Sunnydale. I've done more harm than good here. I just need to get away and deal with what's happened. No one can understand what I've done. I don't think that I understand what I've done. If only Angelus had never found Acathla. If only.
Kendra's dead.
Giles and the gang are pretty beaten up.
It's all my fault. My fault because I couldn't kill Angelus when I needed to.
Angelus had awakened Acathla, this demon who would suck the world into hell, but because I was waiting for Willow to restore Angel's soul, I didn't fight as hard. Spike had taken off with Dru, as was the plan. It was just me and him, battle to the death and then...Acathla yawned.
I never realized that it would be my Angel I'd be killing. I could have handled it if it was Angelus. So I'm leaving. I have to find a way to deal...a way to cope with the idea that I sent my Angel to hell. Until I do, I can't come back here. It helps that my mother kicked me out. She found out I was the slayer, and she couldn't deal. So I grabbed some clothes and my diary, and hopped the nearest bus out of town.
It's over.
To Kori Hime: I'm working on making them longer. Thanks for the review! To whereistruth: Post-'Gift' Spike is one of my favorites too. Glad you liked my GG fic, I think I might be continuing it, so look for that. Thanks for all the compliments.
Spike was in shock. He had known that Angelus had switched to the bad side when he'd lost his soul. He'd had no idea that it was because of a night spent shagging the Slayer. No wonder she had been unwilling to have another relationship with a vampire. Her first one had been filled with nothing but heartache.
Spike had never understood how she could refuse to be with him. Suddenly he doubted the things he had thought before. Maybe it was possible that she had loved him. Stop it, he thought to himself. There was no use torturing his mind and heart over something that would never be. Anxious to distract his thoughts, he flipped through the diary again.
Dear Diary,
I'm leaving Sunnydale. I've done more harm than good here. I just need to get away and deal with what's happened. No one can understand what I've done. I don't think that I understand what I've done. If only Angelus had never found Acathla. If only.
Kendra's dead.
Giles and the gang are pretty beaten up.
It's all my fault. My fault because I couldn't kill Angelus when I needed to.
Angelus had awakened Acathla, this demon who would suck the world into hell, but because I was waiting for Willow to restore Angel's soul, I didn't fight as hard. Spike had taken off with Dru, as was the plan. It was just me and him, battle to the death and then...Acathla yawned.
I never realized that it would be my Angel I'd be killing. I could have handled it if it was Angelus. So I'm leaving. I have to find a way to deal...a way to cope with the idea that I sent my Angel to hell. Until I do, I can't come back here. It helps that my mother kicked me out. She found out I was the slayer, and she couldn't deal. So I grabbed some clothes and my diary, and hopped the nearest bus out of town.
It's over.