Rya: (walks across stage holding a sign)

Duo: (right behind Rya and reads the sign in question) 'Your ad here.' What's that for?

Rya: (chucks sign into the audience) Well, I'm not really sure.

Duo: . . . . . . . . . .okay.

Rya: Here, hold this for me. (hands Duo a sign and starts walking off stage)

Duo: (takes the sign and holds it in front of himself questioningly)

(SHOUTS AND WHISTLES HEARD FROM AUDIENCE a.k.a Wufei, Naku, Quatre, Heero, and Trowa)

Duo: (looks down at sign as Rya goes down the stage steps) ' There is nothing but butt behind this poster!' What! I am fully
cloth!

Rya: (in the audience) No you're not. (snaps fingers)

Duo: (finds himself naked behind the smaller poster) AAAHHHHHH!

(MORE SHOUTS HEARD FROM THE AUDIENCE)

Duo: (inching off the stage, face aflame)

Rya: (back on stage, watching Duo slink away, and holding another sign)

SIGN: ' Precalculus, Algebra, Trig. Part 4'

Audience: (clapping, whistling, and cheering)

Rya: (takes a bow, begins exiting stage Du-left, holds up another smaller sign)

SIGN: ' Please REVIEW!'

Chapter 4

Back at the house everyone was running around like the proverbial chickens without heads. Heero was on his laptop searching for . . . whatever it was he was searching for that pertained to Duo and Rya's kid-er-catnapping as it were. Trowa and Wufei were collecting all the silver ammo they could find, and all the "toys" that went with said ammo. Quatre sat with a sobbing, fuming Mienaku trying to calm her down. He decided on distraction. "How exactly did you meet Rya? I know for a fact that you aren't blood sisters." The distraction worked. "You sound as if you've known Rya before today," she said suspiciously. "Well, I am a vampyre and I am connected with all the underground goings-on. I never actually met her, but I have seen her at the Master's side before. Poor girl," Quatre said, surprising Mienaku. When she didn't say anything more, Quatre asked his question again. "Now I'm curious as to how you two came to be with each other." "Well, let's see," she tapped her nose with her finger, thinking, "I work, worked-sorry, over at the Fifth Kingdom Regional Hospital, near the park. I always cut through the park as a short-cut home, and-" "Why didn't you just drive home?" Quatre interrupted. "Um . . . I guess it's because I like to walk. It's not like I live that far away. Just the other side of the park, near the club district, is where I live. I don't have a very reliable car, gas is too much, and I can never find a place to park near home without having to walk through back alleys. Too dangerous, so I walk." Quatre didn't comment that it was more dangerous to walk. "So you cut through the park . . .," he prompted. "Yeah, sorry, I cut through the park like I usually did. You know it's really rather nice at night. Anyway, before I hit the thick trees I saw something, I thought it was a person, laying in the grass near a tree. I went over to see if they were okay, but I found a half-dead leopard. Imagine my surprise! Well, don't tell anyone, but I'm a sucker for helpless animals. So I slug the poor thing over my shoulders and carried it home. Hey, I may be small," she said when the vampyre gave her a disbelieving look, " but I am really strong! I work out!" she flexed a muscle. Quatre waved his hands in surrender, " I believe you." "Yeah, so when I got home, I cleaned it up and laid it on my couch. I figured it would be okay, so I went and got a shower myself. When I came back, boy was I surprised to find some strange girl laying on my couch where I had left the cat. After about an hour of calming her down and reassuring her I wasn't going to take her back to the "Master", she told me her story and the rest was history. I sort of adopted her." She ended her story, shrugging lamely. Quatre looked up at the ceiling thinking, " That explains away part of . . . the mystery." "How can you be so calm?" Mienaku asked. "What?" Quatre asked, caught off guard. "How can you be so damned cold about this!" she was getting worked up again. "Don't you know what he'll do to her, to them?" Quatre let her rant and rave until that question, then he simply answered, " As a matter of fact, I do know." Everyone within earshot froze. They all knew he was a vampyre, there was no doubt about that. "What do you mean, you know?" Mienaku asked for everyone. Even Heero, Quatre's lover, didn't know the answer to that one. Quatre saw no hope for evading the question. "(sigh) I'm not really a full vamprye like you all thought. I'm a half-breed, a dhamphile." "That explains a lot," Heero interjected,"but what's a-a what did you call it?" "A dhamphile. My mother was a human, my father a vamprye." "So how old are you?" Wufei questioned. "I mean you look the same age as us, and I know you looked younger when we were in the war." "The vampyre part of me keeps me from aging, but the human side does age me. Basically, I age, just at a slower rate. Right now I look about 18yrs old, but in reality, I'm about," he counted in his head, " 233yrs? Yes." "You know, I have never been attracted to older men," Heero said with a hint of humor(1), walking over to stand by Quatre. "Only kidding, koi," Heero smiled, leaning over to kiss away the pout on his lovers lips. "But you still do vampy things, right?" questioned Mienaku. "Well it varies from dhamphile to dhamphile. I can't go out in the sun as most of them can, but then I don't need blood all the time either. I can read minds, but not influence them or hypnotize them. Hearing, smell, and sight are all enhanced. Nothing special really. Oh, I could reproduce . . . if I wanted to." "Well, that was fun, but how is that supposed to help us get Rya-" "And Duo," Wufei interjected. "-back," Mienaku asked. "Well, all that said, I have connections in the vampyre world. I can possibly track them to a place-" "So you have an idea of where they were taken?" Wufei questioned. "Yes, but, Trowa will have to lead from there. I don't frequent those places as often as he does." All eyes turned to Trowa. "I'm a werewolf." And though they knew this already, that was all that really needed to be said(2). At that point Quatre got up to make the necessary calls he had mentioned, glad the attention had turned away from himself. "I'll go make some coffee," Wufei said to break the silence that followed Quatre's departure. "I'll come help," Mienaku got up to follow him, " I need something to do." After awhile, Quatre came back downstairs. " I have a location." Without a word, the group headed for the vehicle that Heero had (cough) borrowed, some time ago. They were all armed to the hilt in silver crosses, guns and bullets, and knives of various assortments. Thanks to Trowa and Wufei, they were all well prepared to dispatch whomever and whatever got in their way. As the others headed toward the ex-Oz donated van, Mienaku went around the side of the house and retrieved two bags from the bushes. Realizing she wasn't following them, the guys turned as one(3) to find her hauling the two bags, one big the other small, towards the van. She passed them and climbed into the back, obviously waiting for the others to move it. They followed her into the van, Trowa taking the driver's seat. The rest just piled into the back with Mienaku. Quatre gave Trowa the directions. Trowa hit the gas, sending the gravel and the rear passengers flying. An evil grin spread across the werewolf's lips as he heard the tell tale thud of the others hitting the back doors. When they had peeled themselves from the back doors, Heero turned to his sister. Only to find her pulling a long, black, metallic pole from the larger bag. "That just ain't natural." Heero and Quatre stared at Wufei in shock at the Duo-esque comment. Wufei in turn crossed his arms over his chest and snorted, "What!" Heero opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by his lover(4). "Is all that really necessary?" Quatre asked. Both Asians turned towards Mienaku where she was pulling out an army's worth of weapons. "You've met Zechs and still you ask me that?" "You're right. Forget I asked," he said, shying away from the all too familiar, and obviously family, glare. "Is that what I look like when I glare?" Heero asked. "Yes," Quatre said, crawling to his side. "But for some reason, hers scares me more than yours ever did." "Kisama, onna! What in the name of Nataku is this!" They all turned to look at Wufei-except Trowa, he was driving, as he held up what looked to be a pile of scandalous leather apparel. Smiling mischievously, Mienaku laughed at the look on the sexy, Chinese man's face. Wait! How did that 'sexy' get in there, Mienaku thought. "That," she said, taking a few things from the pile he was rummaging through, "is what we shall be wearing into Willing Slave." Growling to cover his embarrassment, Wufei opened his mouth to protest only to be cut off by Trowa. "You sure about that, Mienaku? I mean, me and fang-face sure," Quatre glared a hole into the back of Trowa's head, " but Heero and Wufei will stick out as bad as men in the lingerie department." "I dis-AAAHHHHHH! TROWA! RED LIGHT!" Trowa hit the brakes, and they all would have gone flying again, had Quatre not given them a rather shrill warning. "I saw it." "Where did you get your license! A cracker jacks box!" Wufei yelled, beating at his chest to restart his heart. "Mercenary camp," Trowa grinned. "That's even worse," Wufei groaned. "Anyway, I disagree, Trowa. Willing Slave is an S and D club. I'm sure with a little leather and chains, they who a glaring holes into the back of your head will fit in quite nicely. They just wouldn't be very convincing bottoms, so they'll just have to play the role of tops." Quatre said with a not-so-angelic grin on his face. "Heero is undoubtedly mine, and Wufei can either go with Trowa or Miku." "GRRR. It's either Mienaku or Naku! NOT MIKU!" Mienaku growled. Frowning in anger and confusion, for nobody tells poor Wufei anything, Wufei was going to question and voice his opinion, but was once again interrupted by Mienaku. "Save all questions for later, Fei-kins. First, you need to get changed into your, ahem, costume." Wufei glared at the nickname, though secretly liking it, and gulped in fear and embarrassment at the skimpy leather outfit she was holding up. Heero snickered at the look on Chang's face when he saw his sister's choice of clothing for the man. Turning, Heero's laughter died in an instant as his eyes widened at the outfit-or should he say lack thereof- that his blonde angel was holding out to him. Smirking, Quatre gave his love his special rendition of 'innocent-angel-with-horns' look. "You too, koi," he said in evil amusement.

(1)AAAHHHH! Get out your ice skates out ppl! Hell has frozen over!

(2) Rya: Think of the werewolves as party animals. . . a.k.a. college clubbers. Besides, Q's too refined for that kind of stuff.
Quatre: Hey! I party!
Mienaku: Cocktail parties don't count, blondie.

(3) yeah, way to be creepy guys!

(4) Rya: Behold the reason for Heero's silence.
Heero: What are you?
Mienaku: See? He's always getting interrupted.
Heero: Hn.