Chapter 5: The Temple of the Snake

Artalax looked at the crystal ball. "I think the key here is that socket," he said. "Normally, when there's a magical item with a socket in it, you have to find something to fill the socket."

"But what could possibly fill it?" Tariel asked. "I mean, that's such a weird shape. I mean, it's not like a magical gem or anything could fit in it. The socket looks kind of like a power plug, but electricity hasn't been invented yet."

"Well, Tariel, I don't have much of a clue either. It must be a weird kind of gem or something. Maybe we should just forget this and move on."

"Yet again," Tariel muttered. "Zero for seven."

"What do you mean, zero for seven?"

"The magical items Prince Arthanis gives me. I spent all my life savings for his training course, then he keeps giving me magical items as quest rewards, but they never work."

FLASHBACK TO WHEN ONE OF PRINCE ARTHANIS' MAGICAL ITEMS DIDN'T WORK

"Okay," Tariel thought as he approached the dragon, "just remember what the Prince told me and I'll be fine. I've got this Dagger of Uber-Strength. If I'm in trouble, just plunge it into my leg and the magical energy will flow into my body and give me superhuman powers. That's all there is to it." Tariel rushed toward the dragon, blocking his fire attacks with his shield. However, the dragon managed to hit Tariel, sending him flying back in pain. Tariel withdrew the Dagger of Uber-Strength from its sheath and plunged it into his leg. Rather than feel stronger, all he felt was an excruciating pain in his leg that made him unable to move. HEEEEEEELLLLLLP! he yelled, and then blacked out.

Later, back at Altaria Palace...

Tariel woke up and found Prince Arthanis looking at him. "I just wanted to inform you that the Dagger of Uber-Strength you gave me was completely useless,' Tariel said. "I hope you'll give me a refund or at least a better quest reward next time."

"I'm sorry the item didn't work," the Prince replied. "This is the first time it's been tested on humans. I mean, I'm trying to learn how to use magic for the good of the kingdom, and you have to start somewhere."

"So you're using me as a guinea pig!?"

"I was pretty sure it would work. I've tested it on monsters numerous times. When I stab a monster with it the monster gets all aggressive and attacks me. So I figured, in order for it to become so bold like that it must be getting stronger."

"Okay, fine. But I hope you'll give me some compensation."

"Well, since you didn't complete the quest, I can't give you a reward. But the rescue fees plus the medical bills will come to 500 gold pieces."

FLASH FORWARD

"Anyway, Artalax, a while back I got this scroll. It says, "The Gate to Carpathia is located at 1714.63 north by 6971.41 west. But it was so easy – there weren't any monsters guarding it. In all the adventuring books I read, there's always some complication, it's never that easy. This might be a trap."

"Well, it's the only clue we have to go on. Let's get to it!"

Later, at 1714.63 north by 6971.41 west…

Tariel and Artalax approached a large black temple. "This is supposed to be where the Gate is," Tariel said. They went into the temple cautiously, aware that there was probably a trap somewhere. But they got into the temple, even to the altar at the middle, without encountering a single trap or monster. "Are you sure this is the right place? I don't see a teleportation gate anywhere," Artalax said. Tariel looked at his MGPS (Magical Global Positioning System) unit. "According to this, this altar is directly at the designated coordinates, right to the nearest hundredth."

"You're sure the MGPS unit works, right? You didn't get that from Prince Arthanis, did you?"

"No, that was something I looted off a guy's corpse. But it's worked so far and I don't see why it would stop working now."

Artalax looked at his own MGPS unit. "I guess these are both in agreement, so it's probably not a problem with our devices. But given that it says the gate is in the same spot as the altar, the altar deserves a closer look."

Tariel prayed at the altar. "What deity serves this temple?" he boomed.

A voice boomed back from the heavens. "This is the Temple of the Snake. It is unaffiliated with any deities. To partake of the benefits of this temple, simply deposit the small sum of 200 gold pieces in the slot."

"This is the last 200 gold pieces I have. Now I'm completely broke." Tariel said, but deposited the money in the altar anyway. Immediately a slot opened on the altar, and a snakelike cord came out with an unusually shaped doodad on the end. "This is it!" they both exclaimed simultaneously. "The cord is what fits in the socket on our crystal ball!"

Tariel inserted the end of the cord into the socket, and waited to see what would happen. They peered into the crystal ball and this is what they saw:

LOADING … 0% COMPLETE

(several minutes later)

LOADING … 1% COMPLETE

(several more minutes later)

LOADING … 2% COMPLETE

(several more minutes later)

ERROR – OUT OF MEMORY

GET A BETTER CRYSTAL BALL

THIS ONE IS WAY OUT OF DATE

"Wow, Prince Arthanis is really amazing with his magical items," Tariel said. "He makes you think that they work, and then they seem like they might work, and then you think you figured out how to make them work – but you can always count on them not to work in the end. And if he said this one is the latest in magical technology, but now it says it's out of date…"

"But it does seem like we're on the right track. Maybe if we search around this temple we might find something more useful."

And so they searched in the darkest recesses of the temple, and … TRAP! A poison dart shot out from the wall, just barely missing the adventurers. "This is definitely the right track," Tariel said. "There are traps here, which is good." Eventually they found a crystal ball, apparently one that was dropped by another adventurer. They took it back up to the altar and plugged this one in.

"Show me the Gate to Carpathia," Tariel spoke into the crystal ball.

The crystal ball showed an image of a shimmering portal in the middle of a forest. There was apparently a road leading up to the portal, but there were no markers or anything that could tell him where it was.

"Give me directions to the Gate to Carpathia."

The crystal ball showed the following image:

WELCOME TO MAPQUEST!

FROM: Temple of the Snake #172

TO: Gate to Carpathia

ESTIMATED TIME: 17 days, 23 hours

TOTAL DISTANCE: 315.7 kilometers

ADVENTURING DIRECTIONS:

1. Leave the Temple of the Snake and turn RIGHT.

2. Turn LEFT onto the HIGHWAY OF DANGER at Town 142.

3. Leave the HIGHWAY OF DANGER at Town 283 and turn RIGHT.

4. Pass through the MOUNTAINS OF MALTREATMENT.

5. Enter the DUNGEON OF DESPAIR

6. Travel on until you reach the TRAIL OF TRIALS

7. Kill lots of MINDLESS ORCS and ZOMBIES and other ASSORTED CREATURES on the TRAIL OF TRIALS.

8. Enter the TOWN OF NARITAL and turn LEFT.

9. Go STRAIGHT until you reach the DESTINATION.

"This is getting weirder by the minute," Artalax commented. "Someone must know where this thing is. But nobody's telling us, except for this temple here, which really is weird. I've been a wizard for 40 years, but this definitely isn't like any magic I've ever seen."

Are the directions for the excursion

Useful, or just a diversion?

What dangers will they face en route?

Will they find the Gate's whereabouts?