Chapter 9: Civil Liberties
After winning the contest, Tariel wanted to get married to Princess Talia right then and there, but Talia had other plans. She rushed them away from all the commotion and took refuge in an out-of-the way hiding spot behind a large rock.
"What is this for, Princess Talia? I won the contest, don't I get married to you now and we get to live happily ever after? At least that's how it went in all the books," Tariel asked.
"No. I know you beat the dragon, but that isn't enough. That just shows your combat abilities. Before I can marry you I have to see you as a whole person."
"Okay, what is it you would have me do?"
"This is actually the easy part. All you have to do is get a quest of your choice and do it, with me tagging along and watching. Then I'll evaluate you and decide whether to marry you."
"What if you decide not to marry me?"
"Well, then I'll go find another cave and wait until another hero comes to rescue me, I guess. That's how monarchical succession works in this kingdom: the princess gets imprisoned, then the first person to rescue him gets to be the new ruler. It's worked for the past five dynasties, it will work fine for this one as well."
"This is strange. This is the first time I've gotten a job performance review from a princess. But we can go on the quest right now. I have a quest right here. In fact, just to prove that I'm not a selfish bastard who cares only about gold, I agreed to take on the quest for free. No reward at all. And also, I have two other people that I'm traveling with. One is a mage, the other is a thief. So far we've made a good team."
Later, at the Cave of Clavercal…
The party arrived at the mouth of the cave, and Tariel explained the mission. "We've got to infiltrate this cave and kill all the monsters in it. Also, there's probably going to be a main boss enemy, we've got to kill that too." After hearing this, Talia withdrew a small amulet from her pack and placed it around her neck.
"What is that," Tariel asked.
"Oh, nothing. That's just a good luck charm that I wear whenever I'm going into combat. Makes me feel more secure."
Artalax walked over to Tariel and whispered in his ear: "I'm not so sure. To me that looks like a locator beacon, which means that other people might know where we are. You might want to be careful."
So they went into the cave, killing lots of monsters. Throughout the monster killing process, Princess Talia was becoming repulsed by all the killing.
"Are you sure this is the mission?", she asked. "You're supposed to be heroic, yet all you do is go around killing innocent wildlife and monsters?"
"Yes, of course we are. And besides, these guys aren't innocent. They have an evil mastermind, I know he's here somewhere. It said so in the quest description."
So they continued exploring the cave until eventually they found the room where the main boss was. Princess Talia was uncomfortable by the killing, so she stayed outside the room while everyone else went in. While she was outside, she activated her amulet (which was, in fact, a locator beacon).
Inside the Main Boss Room…
Tariel stepped forward to confront the Main Boss. "I am Tariel, a member of the elite Paladins of Altaria! Your evil activities shall go on no longer! Prepare to be smited!"
"What evil activities?" the Main Boss replied. "I have done nothing wrong! What proof have you for your accusations?"
"Yeah, he's right, Tariel," Robari added. "You better stop oppressing the proletariat like you're doing now."
Tariel continued: "Stop trying to evade the question! I know what you are doing here, and you are just trying to hide it! Answer me or I will smite you!"
"What do you think I am doing here?"
"Answer the question! Are you now, or have you ever, been a member of the Necromancers' Party? Have you attended any meetings of the Necromancers' Party?"
"No, I'm just –"
"You have had your chance! I will smite you!"
Tariel rushed at the Main Boss with his sword drawn and attacked. The first blow came down so hard that it completely destroyed the Main Boss's shield and knocked him to the ground. Tariel continued attacking, and the Main Boss parried a few blows but it was clear that Tariel was going to win. Tariel eventually knocked the sword completely out of the Main Boss's hand and put his own sword near the Main Boss's throat, ready to deliver the fatal blow. But just then, he heard a voice scream from back near the entrance to the room.
"Stop right there!"
"Who are you and why are you here?" Tariel asked, while still holding his sword close to the Main Boss's throat.
"We're lawyers with the ACLU. Altarian Civil Liberties Union. We've got a report of some extrajudicial killing around here, and we thought we better investigate."
"I though he was evil, so I decided to kill him. And besides, that was the quest objective."
"Do you have an arrest warrant for him? You can't just go around killing people without getting permission from a court."
"I didn't know that. It wasn't in any of the books Prince Arthanis gave me. In all the books, the hero just goes out and kills the bad guys."
"You do now. Come with us. You will appear in court tomorrow. There you will have an opportunity to defend your actions."
The next day, in the courtroom…
The trial progressed quickly, mostly because Tariel and his party had little to say in their defense. They had been conspiring to kill someone who had done them no harm, no doubt about it. There was nothing more to do than to wait for the sentence.
"I understand that you may not have understood the implications of what you were doing," said the judge. "Therefore, it is not our intention to punish you, but rather to teach you a lesson. You will be sentenced to spend one week in Narital Prison. There you will see what it is like to be tortured and threatened with death. Hopefully that will discourage you from attempting such actions again. Be warned, if we catch you violating civil liberties again the punishment will be more severe."
While the adventurers were being transported to the prison, they were excited at the prospect of eventually finding the Gate to Carpathia. "This is really cool," said Tariel. "We don't even have to brave all the dangers along the way becausewe're being transported there by armed guards. And according to the directions, Narital is only a few miles from the Gate. We're definitely going to solve this mystery."
"Respect civil liberties?"
"Why should we? They're enemies?"
Unless you're Ashcroft, this position
Is going to land you in prison.
[Notes to non-U.S. readers:
- In real life, "ACLU" stands for American Civil Liberties Union, a nonprofit organization that uses legal means such as lawsuits to protect civil liberties.
- The "Ashcroft" mentioned in the rhyme at the end refers to John Ashcroft, the U.S. Attorney General under George W. Bush, who has been criticized for curtailing civil liberties in an effort to fight terrorism.
]