A/N…Apologies this update is so late. October-February. Wow. But no fret, here it is, long-awaited…chapter 14. Confessions…
Harry opened his eyes with a start, clothes damp with rain, hair wet, hands and face freezing. Confused, he sat up. His head was pounding as everything flooded back to him. He ran his hands through his hair and stretched out his stiff legs. He had no idea how long he had been out there. He glanced at his watch, it was 3pm. Confused, he got up and ambled towards the entrance gates of the graveyard. Smirking at the irony, he stumbled on to the main street, passing a cash machine. He had his muggle bank card in his pocket. Shoving in his card and typing in his pin number, he looked at the digits on the screen. He had planned to surprise Hermione with that money, she didn't know he still had a muggle bank account. He wanted to surprise her...maybe with a holiday...a ring...all that was gone. He sighed and closed his eyes tight as he took out quite a bit of money. He wouldn't be needing it for Hermione now.
He felt like the lowest man on earth. He'd totally ruined his chances with Hermione, the only woman he'd ever love...what was the point anymore? He strolled into the nearest muggle pub and got a beer. Sitting in a quiet corner of the small pub, he sipped the drink mournfully. How had he ended up like this? All alone, with absolutely no-one in the world, sipping beer in a pub like an alcoholic? He shook his head as he took another gulp. Not caring anymore. He almost thought it was funny that he thought he had had a hard life as a kid. He'd much rather be stuck with the bullying Dursleys than be in this mess. Any day.
The hours rolled by, and it was getting harder and harder to act sober when ordering more alcohol, and the barman was looking at him funnily as he ordered yet another drink at 10pm.
"I think you've had enough, mate." The bartender said.
"Nonsense...just...one more, please...it's all I've got..." Harry drawled.
"One more." The bartender sighed. "Then I think you'd better be going home."
"Home?" Harry snorted, grabbing the drink, and leaving his money on the counter, staggering back to his solitary seat, spilling a little on his hand.
After finishing that one, the bartender gave him a pointed look.
"Ok, ok...I'm going." Harry slurred, staggering towards the door. Once he was outside, the cool night air felt fresh against his face, as he staggered down the street, no idea where he was going. He still didn't feel drunk enough. The pain was still there. The only 'solution' he could think of was more alcohol.
He heard music coming from one building, a club he had heard about, but had never been in, he wasn't the clubbing sort of person, but they sold alcohol, so he walked in, with a suspicious glance from the bouncer, but he wasn't stopped. He walked straight to the bar and ordered a drink, sitting at one of the bar stools, head in his hands. The bartender served him and he gave her the money.
"You look a bit down, son, cheer up!" She smiled, before moving on to the next customer. "Hey, what can I get you?"
Harry groaned and looked around the club. There were people dancing in a section to the left, and booths lining the right. The music was blaring, and there was just a sea of people bobbing up and down to the music. That, combined with the flashing lights and music, started to make him a bit dizzy. He turned back to the bar and took another sip. A girl came up to the bar and ordered a drink. He couldn't help but notice her. Her hair was white blonde, and she was pretty tanned. She was wearing leather trousers and a very tight, low-cut top. Her chest was very prominent, and he couldn't help but stare while she was ordering her drink. While she waited, she noticed him staring.
"Like what you see, kid?" She laughed, with a wink.
"Erm..." Harry stammered. He had never been good at this kind of thing, even with a drink.
The girl just laughed and started bobbing at the bar, like she couldn't stop dancing, she looked like she was having loads of fun. That half depressed Harry, and half excited him. She paid for her drink and left, brushing past Harry as she left, laughing and dancing all the way.
He watched her go and sighed. He turned back to the bartender and ordered a shot. He was going to need one in a place like this. He downed it quickly and realised he had to go to the toilet. Groaning as he stood up, he wearily staggered to the gents, which was adjacent to the bar.
When he came out, and started to head back to his seat, a girl danced up to him, shaking herself all over the place to the fast music, hands in the air.
"Woah..." Harry said, startled. The girl just smiled and stuck her tongue between her lips and raised her eyebrows. She put her hands on his waist and moved them, making him dance. He soon got into the swing of things, as she led him to the dance floor. Bearing in mind he had never been in a club before, and had no idea how to dance, the alcohol seemed to help him out there, as he started swaying like crazy, under the lead of the girl. Something about this girl was enticing. She had short, messy brown hair, sort of like Hermione's, but shorter. Her eyes were alive, and the deepest brown Harry had ever seen. She kept licking her lips as she grinded against him. He had to admit he was feeling quite horny by now. Probably something to do with the alcohol too. Or maybe the girl's clothes. He looked down, she was wearing the shortest denim mini-skirt he had ever seen, with amazing legs coming out from beneath it. Like the first girl at the bar, she, too was wearing a tight halter neck top, and her chest was almost spilling out.
The girl leaned forward, still grinding against him, and kissed him. This shocked Harry...he had only kissed a few girls in his time, but he had at least known them before-hand, and he preferred to be going out with a girl before anything like that. But, of course, he had been drinking all day, and it was now nearing 11.30, so he kissed her back fiercely, tongues going wild. Her hands were running through his hair, and his hands were on her back. His hands started roaming, and found their way to her breast. Normally, he would have panicked and apologised profusely if this happened. He half expected her to slap him, but instead he felt her hands roaming...to the front of his jeans. This surprised him and he pulled back and looked at her.
She just smiled and continued dancing, as if nothing had happened. The only sober part of his brain left was shocked by this. She leaned forward and shouted in his ear that she would be back in a moment. He stayed, leaning against a post in the middle of the dance floor, too drunk to even attempt to move anywhere. She came back a few minutes later with two drinks in her hands.
"What's this?" He shouted at her, taking the glass from her.
"It's a double." She laughed, downing her's in one gulp.
The only sober part of his brain was soon gone, as he began dancing again.
She leaned over towards his ear, hand roaming again.
"Hey, wanna go somewhere?" She drawled in his ear, sounding quite drunk.
"Sure." Harry beamed. All that dancing had made him really horny, and all thoughts of Ginny, Hermione and Ron were out of his head as he followed the girl away from the dance floor and out of the club.
He didn't know where they were going. He wasn't even sure she knew, until she violently dragged him into an alleyway and started kissing him roughly again, hands roaming like crazy. Harry kissed back and his hands reached for her top, exploring every inch of her breasts through her top. He had never been this drunk in his life.
But something sensible kicked in, and in a snap he thought What the hell are you doing?, and he pulled away from the girl, snapping his hands down by his waist.
"What's the matter, doll?" The girl drawled, trying to kiss him again, but he pulled her away, and looked at her smeared lipstick.
That was the moment. The tears rolled down his cheeks as he fell to the ground, sobbing. The poor girl looked so confused, but she stumbled down beside him, still drunk.
"Hey...what...?" She asked, leaning over him, very confused.
"I'm so stupid..." Harry drawled, swaying slightly where he was seated.
"What? Because of me? I'm sorry, I didn't mean...god, I thought you looked young." She said hitting her forehead and standing up.
"No, not you...I just...I was so stupid...and then my girlfriend..." He sobbed, "My girlfriend...oh god I love her so much...but she's not my girlfriend anymore, is she, all because of...Ginny...no, not because of Ginny, she's nice and...nice...It's me...It's all my fault."
The girl sighed and wobbly sat back down.
"You have a girlfriend? What were you doing in a club with me? You know, you can't go putting your hands here when you have a girlfriend, mister!" She laughed, putting her hands on her own chest.
"No...she...I slept with Ron's sister...and god I'm so stupid...and now she's never going to forgive me, and I've lost everyone, and...I'm so sorry...erm...what was your name?" Harry drawled.
"Cindy." The girl sighed.
"I'm sorry...oh god, I didn't even know your name." Harry started sobbing again.
"Oh, god, why always me?" Cindy said to herself, looking up at the dark night sky. "Look, do you love this girl...this...your girlfriend, like?"
"Of course I fucking love her." Harry yelled, through tears.
"Well...tell her that."
"Don't you think I've tried, she won't have me back anyway...I'm just a stupid kid, and she's all stubborn, and...then there's Ron, he's not talking to me either."
"He'll get over it. You just slept with his sister. Worse things have happened, mate. Unless...she wasn't a kid was she?" Cindy asked, worried. "Of course not." Harry whimpered.
"Good. So...from what I see..." The girl said, hands on her knees "You love this girl...just say sorry. Beg. I dunno. You can't go out pulling other girls if you just break down and cry all the time, it's not attractive honey. It's like you're a big baby." The girl said, letting her head fall back against the wall.
"I can't she'll never, ever, ever...I don't know, I mean...I don't know what I mean...how much have I had to drink, I think..." Harry babbled on.
"Look. Shut up, you're giving me a hangover already." Cindy growled. "Go phone her. Right now. Phone her and say sorry. Then maybe you'll have somewhere to sleep tonight, that isn't some stranger's bed that you'll regret in the morning because it will make it all worse. Now," she said, fumbling in her bag, eventually getting her mobile phone. "I have no money in this. But go to that payphone, phone her right now."
She looked like that speech had taken a lot out of her, and she lay back against the wall again, hands on her head.
"Ok." Harry agreed. He was too drunk to think sensibly at all.
He fumbled about in his pocket for some change, and he crawled to the phone box across the street. Clambering inside, he dialled what he thought was her number, but he just got an error tone. He'd dialled the wrong number.
"God damnit, Harry!" He yelled in exasperation, as, with fresh tears in his eyes, he tried stabbing out a few more numbers, before he finally got it right.
"Hello?" Hermione's voice came through the phone. It sounded like she was still awake. It wasn't like her, she was usually in bed quite early, reading.
"Hermione." Harry slurred.
"Harry? I don't want to talk to you...are...are you drunk?" Hermione asked.
"I'm...I don't know. All I know is...Cindy...she's really nice...I talked, and I...I was all wet...and there was a graveyard...and then I went and found this nice girl...and...what I'm trying to say is..."
"Another girl? You get over me that quickly, Harry?" Hermione said, he could hear the tears welling up in her voice.
"No, no, she made me see clearly...Hermione...I love you. Nothing happened...I love you so much please let me come home. I love you." Harry spieled.
"I won't talk to you when you're like this. Goodbye." She snapped, and hung up.
"Damnit!" Harry yelled, clumsily slamming the phone down. He ran back out, where Cindy was waiting.
"Damn you...I'm going...I don't know where...I'll just...go...and...yeah...Stupid Hermione "Harry are you drunk" drunk!" Harry mocked, staggering away.
"Wait." Cindy said, grabbing his arm. She wasn't as drunk as him, and was worried about him now, she was involved, and she had the feeling he had nowhere to go.
"Lemmego."
"No. Come back to mine. You're too drunk, you need to be somewhere safe. I'll take you home." She hiccupped.
"No. You've ruined everything again for me...I need to...I just need to lie down..." Harry said, sitting down on the pavement.
"Come on, Harry. Please. I'll put you on my sofa, come on." She said, helping him back to his feet, and he started crying again.
"Come on." She said, helping him walk.
-
Ginny slammed her hand on her alarm as it rang that morning. She hadn't slept at all. She hated family fights, but now the whole family was fighting...and it was all because of her. Rubbing her tired eyes, she sat up and got dressed, dreading the breakfast table.
After dragging out dressing as long as possible, she made her way downstairs, heart racing. She sat down at the silent table, between George and her mother. George put his arm around her and gave her a brief squeeze as she sat down. She just felt so guilty.
"Morning, dear." Molly smiled, though her smile wasn't as warm as usual. "Toast?"
"Yea, please." Ginny said quietly, eyes down from the rest of her family.
It was an agonising breakfast. Clearly no-one was ready to talk about the situation so early.
"I'm going out." Ginny said, standing up. She couldn't take any more. "Just going for a walk." She added, making for the door, putting on her jacket and shoes.
No-one said anything, except from a quick "Button your jacket, its cold out." From Molly.
Her head was still swimming, as the fresh morning air hit her. Tears formed in her eyes, but only from the cold, and she wiped them away, still walking. She turned into a quiet street. It was still quite early, so hardly anyone was about. She spotted the graveyard, and strolled into it. That had always been her favourite thing when she was a child, to walk through the graveyard whenever she felt upset, and she always walked out feeling a bit better, a reminder that any problem she had wasn't as bad as all these deaths she read on gravestones. Somehow she didn't think it would have the same effect today.
Instead of walking, she sat on the bench. She watched an old lady walk in and lay flowers at a grave at the opposite end, and she watched her leave again. She thought about Hermione, and how she must be feeling. She thought about Ron, and the look of hatred in his eyes...she thought about Harry.
Sighing, she walked back out of the big black gates, and onto the main street.
Approaching the end of the street, she saw a door opening, and someone leaving. She squinted. It was Harry.
Harry was leaving someone else's house...she didn't know whose it was. Then she saw the girl. The girl was dressed in just a robe. She smiled at him and he left, she closed the door behind him.
Ginny's heart stopped in her chest, and she darted into an alleyway so that he wouldn't see her.
"Harry." She breathed angrily under her breath. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She watched him running his hands through his hair. "Bastard." She muttered. "Complete...BASTARD!" She yelled.
Harry stopped and looked right at her. She froze.