Chapter 13: A Statistical Sign
Tariel, Artalax, Talia, and Robari stepped outside the doors of the teleportation hub. They saw a gigantic city, filled with huge buildings as far as the eye could see. Many of the buildings appeared to be several stories high, although on closer inspection it was obvious that the windows above the first story weren't really windows at all: rather, the walls were simply texture-mapped surfaces designed to give the illusion of embedded windows.
"So, this is Carpathia City," said Tariel. "Let's see what evil lurks here."
Robari said, "Well, this city was probably built for the benefit of greedy capitalists by exploiting the working poor, thus contributing to economic injustices within –", but Tariel cut him off.
"Can you just shut up? I'm telling you, every time you mention greedy capitalists I'm going to make you pay me ten gold pieces. Now shut your mouth so we can get on with this mission."
"You just proved my point," said Robari. "Now you're the greedy capitalist trying to extort money out of me and limit my freedom of expression. I'm telling you, if there's ever going to be any progress…" He trailed off.
"Look. I think we just found our first clue," said Artalax. "Look over there."
They all turned to look at a sign:
WELCOME TO CARPATHIA
THE ADVENTURERS' PARADISE
Total Immigration: 1,817,243
Immigration This Year: 28,914
…
"So, this conspiracy's more widespread than we thought. Whatever evil scheme's going on here, they've certainly captured a lot of people.", Artalax said.
"Can't we just go home now," replied Talia. "I never asked to be on this mission in the first place. And look. Almost two million people came here and it doesn't say anything about them returning, so they must have all been captured. What makes you think we'll be any different?"
"Have you even read any of the books?", replied Tariel. "Look. We're the main characters, so we're going to survive. All those other ones are extras, so they don't count. But the main characters always triumph, even against impossible odds. And by the way, look at what's below that on the sign."
…
Adventurer Statistics This Year
Experience Points Gained: 143,689,372,400
Quests Completed: 32,931,420
Monsters Defeated: 596,880,741
"So you mean that adventurers here have defeated over half a billion monsters just since the beginning of this year?", asked Artalax. He had already looked at the map on his new MGPS unit, so he knew about how big the kingdom of Carpathia was. "I didn't think an ecosystem of this size could even support anywhere near that many monsters. There must be something fishy going on."
"Can we just get out of here as soon as possible," asked Talia. "I don't want to be in a place where there's that much killing."
"What do you mean, leave? Leave right now? We just got here! We haven't even started our mission yet," said Tariel. "And besides, we're broke. We don't have enough money for the ticket back even we wanted to go."
"Okay, fine. Just make this quick. We make enough money for the ticket back, we go back to Prince Arthanis, we get married, we become heirs to the throne, we live happily ever after. Just like in all the books."
"That's a deal, just under one condition."
"What's the condition?"
"We have to finish our mission first."
"That's just like you, Tariel. Mission, mission, mission. You have no time for anything else. Not even a romantic love scene."
"Okay, here's the deal, Talia. You stick with me until the mission is accomplished, and I'll promise to give you a romantic love scene when the time comes. Is that a fair deal?"
"Can you be more specific? What exactly do you mean by "when the time comes"?
"Let's just do this. If, let's say, there's a sign from Heaven, then we'll have a romantic love scene."
And so the adventurers marched forward into Carpathia City, looking for more clues. But there was one thing they missed: beneath all the rows of changing statistics on the Welcome sign, a graffito was scribbled at the bottom:
ACTUAL HEROISM: 0
STOP THE MURDER
MONSTER LIBERATION FRONT
to be continued…