Harry Potter and the Something Something Something!

A Cute But Psycho Bunny: You mean Marcus like Marcus Flint, maybe? MAYBE? Hee hee, thank you for your amusing reviews. Not telling what the Spanish lady said! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope you can't find out, either, cause it gives a spoiler about another story. But you might NEVER FIND THAT STORY, MOOFWAFWAFWA! BEARER OF FLAMING SNOT? WHAT THE HELL!

Avalon Estel: YAY for knowing all the made-up titles! HARRY POTTER AND THE MOUNTAIN OF FANTASY! WHOOOOO! Capitalization rocks! Thanks for your reviewses.

Naoko Tasaki: OMG! I totally hate Chad Michael Murray too! IDIOT! DIE CINDERELLA STORY MOVIE! I saw that movie, just to make fun of it. It sucked. CHAD STINKS! STINKER! STINKER LIKE SMEAGOL!

Aly: HAHAHAHA you rock!

Munchkins – Coming soon. I promise. Maybe even in this chapter – I really make it up as I go along.
Kill off... – AHAHAHAHA, they'll die soon. They will.
Invasion of the Vampires – Ooh, interesting..ever heard the Snape is a vamp rumor? HE COULD KILL THEM OFF! IN THIS CHAPTER! YAY!
More Mira/faint ness. Mwahaha. Ok, maybe not. – Noo, it would ruin it! Unless I made her say something really weird like "Cheesy potatoes!" and then Remus shakes her shoulders frantically and is like, "VOLDEMORT? WHERE?" and she's like, "…CHEESY POTATOES!" and then Remus goes insane. YAY!
Why was Siri-poo looking for Mary-Sue? No! They're not... /dating! NO! – Maybe they are..tee hee hee..
Remind everyone how hot Johnny Depp is, and Sirius. Because they are one and the same. – LOL. HI EVERYONE! JOHNNY DEPP IS SO UGLY THAT THE SIGHT OF HIM BURNS MY EYES! Just kidding.

To Those Mentioned Above: Aww, you're like my only reviewers. I LOVE YOU GUYS! SPREAD THE TACO LOVE! Unless you don't like tacos. THEN YOU STINK! Just kidding.

Chapter Nine: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!

In which…DUN DUN DUN!

Where were we?

Oh, yes.

Beautiful, wondrous Hogwarts.

So marvelously beautiful!

Er, yes. Now, where ELSE were we?

Oh, yes.

Dear Snape. Up from being fried. Wakey, wakey, dear Snape!

"Huh?" Snape said groggily as he rose, "I am distressed…why am I lying on the floor?"

Suddenly he went into a murderous rampage!

"EVERYONE KNOWS I HATE FLOORS!" he screamed, immediately transforming into a bloodthirsty vampire…attacking the first person in sight.

Fortunately for all of us, it was Mary-Sue Mathers, eating a cheesy potato!

"AHHHH!" she shrieked elegantly as Snape lowered his fangs into his shoulder. Then she died of blood loss. Or something like that.

Snape filled a vial with her blood and held it up, smiling toothily.

"BLOOD – JUST DRINK IT!" he said cheerily, smiling at the camera.

"PERFECT!" the director yelled, "JUST PERFECT, SNAPE! YOU'RE GETTING A RAISE!"

"Whee!" Snape said, prancing around. Then Sirius randomly appeared. He saw Mary-Sue on the floor.

"YES-" he began to scream in joy, but then coughed and gasped fakely. "SNAPE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he demanded.

"I have rid us all of this…burden," Snape said icily.

"Well, true," Sirius admitted. "See ya, buddy!" he said brightly, slapping Snape on the back.

Snape scowled.

Then all the Munchkins invaded!

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" roared Harry, running in with his Green Flame Torch.

"It's the Munchkins," Snape explained calmly.

"IT'S THE MUNCHKINS!" Aly shrieked, running over a little too late.

"OH NO!" cried Harry, "IT'S THE MUNCHKINS!"

By the time all of this was over, the Munchkins were gone.

((Because Aly told me to, here is an informative reminder: Johnny Depp rocks!))

The author sighed. "Ah, well, young grasshopper, you are learning. Yet, very slowly. How shall we speed up this process?"

"By GOING FORWARD INTO TIME!" Harry suggested heroically.

"No, no," the author groaned.

"YES, YES!" Aly shrieked, "IT WOULD ADD SO MUCH MORE TO THE PLOT!"

"If you say so…"

So then a time machine appeared in front of the two, and the author dissappeared.

"COOL!" Harry shrieked.

"BRIBERY!" Hermione added helpfully, accidentally thinking he had wanted to say that phrase, which I hope you are sick of now.

"OH MY GOD!" Aly screamed, "YOU MADE A MISTAKE!" She pointed a shaking finger at Hermione. "You are no longer one of us!"

Hermione began to sob, and immediately changed back into her former self.

((Well, that eliminates one of the Mary-Sues from the DLD list. Wait, two, if you include Mary-Sue Mathers.))

"BOOKS!" she cried suddenly. "I MUST READ! READ I MUST!" So she raced to the bibliotheque.

In other words, the library.

Then all the Vampires came and killed Harry.

Well, not exactly.

Harry threw the Torch at them. And then they died. And then Snape went into another murderous rampage!

"CURSE YOU!" he thundered shrilly, running away.

"CURSE ME?" Harry returned angrily.

"CURSE ME, HARRY!" Draco challenged.

"CURSE YOU?" Harry demanded.

"CURSE YOU, POTTER!" Draco shrieked.

"CURSE ME! CURSE ME!" Dumbledore yelled brightly.

"Curse you?" Harry said dubiously.

"No way, dude!" Dumbledore said.

"Okay…man," Harry agreed hesistantly.

THE END OF CHAPTER NINE