Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. There, I said it.
The reviews seriously rock folks, I extend my eternal gratitude.
"Nice doggie…nice, enormous, angry-looking doggie…"
The huge beast crept closer to Negaduck, saliva pouring from its jaws like a leaky faucet. The sick green glow of its eyes was all but natural, and neither was the rumbling growl it produced.
"I hate dumb animals, especially dogs," Negaduck snapped as the wolf dog began sniffing him.
Liquidator narrowed his eyes at him but Bushroot shouted suddenly, "Quit it you guys, that's mean!"
For a second Negaduck pulled his gaze from the animal. Quackerjack was making a shadow puppet of a dog on the side of the building, the light courtesy of Megavolt.
"Quit it you guys, that's mean!" Megavolt mimicked with a snicker.
"We had you shaking in your non-existent boots seeds-for-brains! Nah nah we scared you! Nah nah we scared you!" Quackerjack continued to taunt.
Negaduck stared at them completely at a loss. A huge, otherworldly creature was standing right before them, and they were scared of shadow puppets?
"You blockheads, what about this dog?!" he said tightly.
The Fearsome Four looked at him quizzically.
Finally Megavolt asked, "Um…what dog?"
The masked mallard's jaw dropped.
"This huge one right in front of me! Quackerjack, you saw it!"
"No no no, I was talking about Mr. Shadow Puppet!" the jester stuttered.
"But, the growls – "
"That was me, Lee!" Mr. Banana Brain informed.
Negaduck stared at the creature. He could see the individual strands of wiry fur, the muscles writhing beneath the skin, all of which as clear to him as black and white.
"Wow, we even had you going Negaduck! We should take this shadow puppetry deal on the road Quacky!" Megavolt said in awe.
Without warning, the wolf dog reared back and lunged for Negaduck, who barely managed to duck out of the way. He heard the creature's jaws snap shut above his head. Okay, visual confirmation or not, a set of fangs going for his throat was about all the convincing he needed.
With a terrified yelp Negaduck turned tail and fled to the Fearsome Four in what he considered a dignified retreat.
"B-Boss, you must be seeing things!" Bushroot exclaimed.
"Am I? Really?" Negaduck asked sarcastically, his voice edgy with hysteria.
The hound unleashed a high-pitched howl that rocked through the night air, giving him chills. It locked its green eyes on Negaduck and sprang forward.
"Don't just stand here, do something! Megavolt, fry that Fido!" Negaduck commanded.
Megavolt glanced at the rest of the Fearsome Four, searching for assurance that he would never find.
"Negaduck, I don't see any Fido to fry…"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Well, maybe his molecular structure was designed specifically for your retina! Or maybe your cerebrum has structured a fictitious apparition! OR BOTH!" the rat gushed.
"Save it spark-breath, if I wanted a science lesson I would've asked for one!" Negaduck said as the dog edged closer, "Liquidator! Give this mutt a flea bath!"
"When it comes to sanity, a little dab'll do ya! Honestly Negaduck, I don't see anything!" Liquidator boomed.
"ARE ALL OF YOU BLIND?!"
"Negaduck, what are you – "
"Okaaaaaaaay…looks like we'll have to resort to plan B," Negaduck said in a calm voice.
"And what, pray tell, would 'plan B' be?" Quackerjack asked.
"Run like the wind!" Negaduck yelled, taking off like jet plane.
"Huh?" the Fearsome Four blurted, but dashed after him nonetheless.
Negaduck tore down the alley with as much speed as he could muster. He chanced a glance over his shoulder and was glad to see his cohorts behind him. The dog would have to go through them first, if he was lucky it might pick off Bushroot or another one before it could get to him.
Quite the contrary. The wolf dog ran at an incredible pace, catching up to them easily. Strangely, it was practically running alongside Megavolt, but it paid him no mind. It focused only on Negaduck.
"Great…its only…got green, glowing eyes…for me!" Negaduck gasped as he ran.
He turned the corner. To his extreme relief, there sat Megavolt's jazzed up car, the awaiting getaway vehicle.
"Get in!" the mallard commanded.
The wolf dog lunged. Negaduck hardly noticed it in time, and instinctively dove to the ground. The creature soared over top of him, landing a good couple of feet away.
Negaduck pushed himself to his feet. Bushroot, Liquidator, and Quackerjack were busy jamming themselves into the backseat while Megavolt was revving up the engine.
"I have a newfound sympathy for sardines," Bushroot grumbled, sandwiched between Liquidator and Quackerjack.
Negaduck growled at Megavolt, "Who died and made you the driver?!"
"It's my car, I have the keys, I fixed it up, I pay the insurance, I – "
"Okay! I get it!" Negaduck said as he loaded himself into the passenger seat.
"Hey, how comes Negaduck gets to ride shotgun?" Quackerjack asked indignantly.
"Why DO YOU think clown face?!" Negaduck roared back.
Quackerjack opened his beak to reply but Negaduck never heard him, for a loud SLAM! cut him off. Angry growls sounded as the wolf dog clawed at the passenger-side door.
"Booooy am I going to send a scathing letter to the city pound…" Negaduck mumbled.
Suddenly the mallard heard what sounded remarkably like strong jaws chewing through metal. Negaduck turned to Megavolt quickly.
"Drive!"
"Okay okay!" Megavolt said hurriedly, "Is everyone wearing their seatbelts?"
"I SAID DRIVE!"
Negaduck reached over and brought his webbed foot down heavily on the gas pedal. Everyone's skulls thunked against their headrests as the car sped out of the alley.
Megavolt turned the wheel madly and narrowly avoided oncoming cars as he swerved into the street. The tires squealed and the horns blared.
"Sunday driver!" a random motorist bellowed.
"Quiet!" Megvolt yelled back as he weaved in and out of traffic, leaving law-abiding citizens in the dust.
"Are we there yet?" Quackerjack moaned from the backseat.
Negaduck ignored him and said, "I think we lost the fleabag…heh heh, scot free!"
Before he could get another word out the black-masked mallard heard the roar of a familiar engine. He looked over the back of the seat, then proceeded to slam his fist. Darkwing Duck, Launchpad, and the Ratcatcher were coming up behind them. Fast.
"Talk about out of the frying pan…" Liquidator gurgled.
"Dammit!" Negaduck cursed, "C'mon Sparky, pedal to the medal!"
"This is as fast as she goes!" Megavolt returned.
"Well then at least you and your wheels have something in common: you're both slow," Negaduck quipped, then looked back at Darkwing. There was no chance that Megavolt's clunky old car could outstrip the Ratcatcher. And if that dog decided to come back…
Negaduck suddenly got the vivid image of his head being gnawed on while Darkwing was busy writing out an arrest warrant. The mallard shuddered. Time to take drastic measures.
Sprawling himself across the two front seats, Negaduck grabbed the steering wheel and jerked it left.
"What are you doing?!" Megavolt screeched.
"Taking a detour!" Negaduck answered gruffly.
The turn was so sharp it threw Liquidator, Quackerjack, and Bushroot against the side of the car. They cut across the adjacent lane, barely squeaking past traffic and finally busting through a chain link fence.
Negaduck plopped back into his seat.
"Now we'll lose him!"
"But…but…WE'RE DRIVING THROUGH THE CITY PARK!" Megavolt exclaimed as he bowled over various bushes and park benches.
Bushroot's eyes widened with utter horror.
"You can't do this! It's the park, the only s-sanctuary for saplings in a c-concrete jungle!"
Darkwing watched as the Fearsome Five's vehicle burst into the city's home for Mother Nature.
"What the heck are they doing? Are they nuts?! That was a stupid question…" he murmured, "Okay LP! You take the sidecar around to the other side of the park! I'll chase these hooligans right to you and we'll corner 'em! Got it?"
"Righty-o DW!" Launchpad yelled.
Darkwing reached for the detachment lever and shouted, "Okay then, let's divide!"
"I'm no good at math," Launchpad informed.
With a roll of his eyes Darkwing pulled the lever, releasing the sidecar. Launchpad drove off in the other direction for the opposite park entrance. Darkwing turned into the park via the Fearsome Five's makeshift entrance. He caught sight of Megavolt's car and sped up after them.
Negaduck noticed the headlights of the Ratcatcher gleaming in the rearview mirror.
"Looks like I'm gonna have to pump some lead into that do-gooder," he sighed, then leaned out the window and faced Darkwing.
"Ready to throw in the towel Negaducky?" the crime fighter shouted.
"Hardly!" came Negaduck's reply. He pulled out a rather large gun from under his cape and began firing rounds at his opposite. Darkwing yelped in surprise and veered out of they way. Negaduck grinned.
"HA! That oughta teach that wimp to – AAAGGGHHH!"
The wolf dog appeared seemingly out of nowhere and leapt for Negaduck's throat. The villain threw himself back into the car before the creature flew past with a loud growl.
"Okay, evasive action! Now!" he ordered to Megavolt while hastily rolling up his window.
The rat dodged a few water fountains and drove onto the grass. Suddenly he hit a large bump that sent the unbuckled Negaduck straight out of his seat. He thumped his head painfully on the ceiling before landing back down in a heap.
"I told you to wear you seatbelt!"
Negaduck rubbed his head and glared at Megavolt menacingly.
"Liquidator's bothering me!" Quackerjack whined.
"Am not!" Liquidator fired back.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Do I have to pull this car over?!" Megavolt warned sternly.
Negaduck ground his teeth and hissed, "If you pull this thing over I'll – "
Before the mallard could finish the hound landed on the car's front hood. The vehicle shook violently and the metal crunched under its weight. It took all of one second before –
"AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!"
Negaduck screamed, causing the rest of the Fearsome Five to scream in a classic case of cause and effect. The creature only snarled then broke through the windshield, spraying glass everywhere.
Its paws hit Negaduck square in the chest and flattened him against his seat. Any doubts of the animal's validity were quickly erased as a set of glistening jaws snapped at his head. He flailed wildly, causing his cape to wrap itself around Megavolt's head.
"I can't see where I'm going!" Megavolt exclaimed desperately as the car swerved to and fro.
Darkwing had since continued his pursuit of the villains. He could hear Negaduck's terrified screams above the whir of the Ratcatcher's engine.
"HA!" he chuckled, "listen to 'em caterwaul! The menacing mallard of morality Darkwing Duck has got them crying for mercy!"
The wolf dog tore at Negaduck viciously, shredding his yellow jacket to ribbons. He could barely squirm away from its continual attempts to bite him.
"Okay everybody – just sit there – while I'm being – MAULED!" Negaduck managed.
"Mauled by what?" Quackerjack asked, exasperated, "You're just flopping around on your seat like a fish!"
"Get your eyes checked, I'm being attacked!" Negaduck screamed.
Liquidator, Quackerjack, and Bushroot exchanged disturbed looks. Megavolt rolled his eyes.
"Well tell your invisible friend to attack someone else, I don't want him screwing up my paint job," he said irritably.
Negaduck, noticing a shred of hope, cried, "Yeah, attack someone else, go get Darkwing Dupe – "
Suddenly the creature ceased its attacking and looked out the back window at Darkwing. In a flash it jumped out of the car and into the street.
"What in the blazes…" Darkwing Duck murmured as he watched a huge animal practically materialize out of the getaway vehicle. Without warning, it lunged straight at him, its jaws open wide. Darkwing didn't even have time to scream or hit the brakes. All he could do was watch in horror as it thundered towards him…
Morgana floated into the Mallard household. Everything was dark, save for the soft glow of the television. She made her way into the living room only to find Gosalyn asleep on the couch. Or at least…she seemed to be asleep. The duckling was making strange growling noises and clawing at the air with her fingers.
"Oh, she must be having a nightmare, lucky dear," Morgana whispered, and shook her shoulder gently, "Gos…wake up…Gosalyn wake up…"
Goslayn's eyes fluttered open, bringing an abrupt end to the growling and clawing.
"What…where's Negaduck?" she asked.
Morgana raised an eyebrow.
"That's something I wasn't expecting to hear."
"No, I was having this super cool dream! I was chasing Negaduck down this alley, except I wasn't me, I was this big, hairy thing! I kept trying to bite him and stuff and Negaduck was screaming like a baby, ha ha! Man, I bet I had big, blooooooody fangs, I must've been major league scary!" Gosalyn gushed.
"What's scary is that you had a dream about Negaduck," Morgana quipped.
Gosalyn pondered for a moment and said, "Probably 'cuz I saw him on TV before I fell asleep…Dad was chasing the Fearsome Five on the news – "
"WHAT?! He told me he was going to get a present for …ooooh, now he's going to get it!" Morgana seethed.
The sorceress stormed out of the room, and all Gosalyn caught were words like "lowbrow" and "pigheaded."
With the danger finally passed, the Fearsome Four fell silent. Megavolt watched the road steadily, pausing every now and then to glance discreetly at Negduck. The mallard was gazing down at himself. The beast's claws had ripped at his shirt, and in the tattered remains they left his blood. It was spilling everywhere, from his arms, from his chest, from his wrists…
"Go to the hideout. Now. The bleeding is getting worse," Negaduck croaked.
Megavolt frowned.
"But, I don't see any blood…"
Negaduck stared at him blankly. This was insane. What were they trying to pull?
"I can almost hear your brain cells dying," Negaduck snapped at Megavolt, "Now get me to the hideout before I bleed to death."
"Boss, I know funny, and this is not funny. Well, not anymore," Quackerjack said quietly.
"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M LAUGHING?! HUH?! OF COURSE IT ISN'T FUNNY, ME DYING IS NOT FUNNY!" Negaduck roared.
The Fearsome Four became silent once again, and Negaduck clutched his wrists as tightly as he could.
The glow of the television illuminated the faces of the four super villains, adding a small amount of pale light to the otherwise dismal abandoned warehouse. The Fearsome Four bent ever closer to the device, barely blinking.
"No, no, don't open the door…he's got an axe…don't open the door! GAAAAHHH!" Bushroot screamed, shielding his eyes from the movie.
"Whatsit matter, he's got an axe, he can just chop right through the stupid door – ha, look, there he goes! Get her! Get her!" Megavolt cheered, never tearing his eyes from the scream.
Quackerjack giggled and crooned, "How much wood could a madman chuck if a madman could chuck wood?"
"How do they make it looks so real?" Bushroot whimpered.
"Because there's no business like show business," Liquidator gurgled.
As the plant-duck watched the screen with growing terror, an evil grin formed on Quackerjack's beak. He pointed to Bushroot and whispered something to Megavolt, who grinned just as evilly and nodded.
"Boy, that guy's crazier than Negaduck!" Bushroot commented.
"You said it – he's now officially a category five psychopath," Quackerjack muttered.
"Before he went running upstairs, he said something to me about replacing my windshield, but there's nothing wrong with it!" Megavolt said.
"Except for all the bird crap adorning it.'
"Cram it Banana Brain!"
"I wonder what he's doing now?" Bushroot interjected.
Liquidator rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Probably trying to find all the marbles he lost."
Negaduck heaved the door of his bedroom shut as hard as he possibly could, refusing to look at his bloodied body. He was going to bleed to death, and those infidels he thought were his teammates denied to even notice a scratch.
"If I were a first aid kit, where would I be – " Negaduck wondered breathlessly. Talking out loud had always helped him when he was flustered. Now that his vision was beginning to cloud and his mind was groggy and black, he needed all the help he could get.
He found a kit in the medicine cabinet. Negaduck grabbed it with shaking hands and it slipped from his grasp. It burst open, and its contents scattered across the floor. The mallard swore horribly before grabbing the roll of bandages. He moved fast; Negaduck really didn't know what else to do, he just wanted to stop the red ink of his blood from pouring.
He rolled up his sleeve. Better wrap up his bleeding wrists first, then maybe he'd have a slim chance of survival. He unraveled the bandage…
Negaduck froze. His wrists were fine. There was no blood. Nothing. Not even a bruise. The villain's mind whirled.
"What the hell…" he murmured.
He pushed up his feathers, revealing the pink flesh. Totally intact. He looked wildly at his other arm. Completely fine.
His chest. There had to be something on his chest. He hastily unbuttoned his jacket and pulled up the red shirt. He looked down. Nothing but brilliantly white feathers. He pulled his shirt back down, and for the first time noticed that it was as fine as ever, not even the slightest rip or tear.
Negaduck stared at himself for a long time. He would have sworn on his life that the dog had clawed at him, made him gush blood. His own eyes had seen it…
But not the eyes of the Fearsome Four. Negaduck remembered their disturbed looks of disbelief.
The mallard suddenly became aware of his sweating and heavy breathing. His vision was not cloudy, nor was his mind groggy.
"What's going on?" he croaked, staring into space.
Was it all a hallucination? Was he dreaming?
"The old lady!"
The memories of the alligator skin purse and the painful whack on the head came flowing back to him.
"That's it, that has to be it," Negaduck assured himself, "merely a knock on the noggin made me imagine those things, there's nothing wrong with me – I can't say much for that old broad, but there's nothing wrong with me."
He got to his feet, pushing away the problems and the doubts swirling in his mind. What was with that dog – no! It was nothing, just a figment of his imagination, and he had to forget about it.
"Besides, the sooner I get back to business, the sooner I'll be in the Negaverse."
"Shh! He'll hear us!"
"Well then stop 'shh'ing and he won't!"
"Fine…tee hee, this is gonna be great, he'll be scared stiff!"
Megavolt and Quackerjack tiptoed their way to Bushroot's door.
"Is he in there or did he got back to that dumb little greenhouse of his?" Quackejack asked.
Megavolt peeked inside. Sure enough, the plant-duck was staring out his window, standing as still as a board.
"Yup, the victim – I mean Bushroot is ready and waiting," Megavolt whispered with a grin.
"Good," Quackerjack whispered back, "now go in there and do what we planned!"
"Okey dokey – hey, hold it there Chuckles, why do I have to do it?"
"Because you've got he chronic laryngitis voice suitable for this thing Megs, that's why."
"I don't have chronic laryn – "
"Just go in there before he hears us!" Quackerjack snapped and shoved Megavolt into the room.
The rat stumbled forward but regained his balance.
"Now!" came his partner's hushed order.
Megavolt nodded, then cleared his throat and whispered, "Red rum…red rum."
Bushroot continued to stare out the window obliviously. Megavolt looked back to Quackerjack for aid.
"Whisper louder!"
"That's an oxymoron – "
"Shut up Sparky!"
"Don't call me that…okay…red rum, red rum!"
Bushroot still refused to acknowledge him.
"C'mon Megavolt, unleash your inner Tony!" Quackerjack called.
Taking a few steps forward Megavolt continued, "Red rum! Red rum!"
Still nothing from Bushroot. His frustration mounting, Megavolt marched up behind the plant-duck and growled, "Uh, hellooooo! Red rum over here!"
When Bushroot ignored him Megavolt's temper finally found its breaking point.
"Don't you hear me? I said red rum! Come on Bushfruit, RED-FREAKING-RUM!"
Bushroot whipped around, he beak barely inches from Megavolt's nose. His normally vibrant blue eyes had a dull, glossy look to them as if he was staring straight through the other villain. Megavolt gulped.
"Um…red rum?" he squeaked with a nervous chuckle.
"Where is he?" Bushroot growled in a low voice.
"W-where's who?" Megavolt asked.
Bushroot yelled, "Where is he!"
"Uh, I think I hear my mother calling," Megavolt said as he turned to leave.
Quackerjack came up behind him, stopping his mad sprint from the room.
"C'mon Bushboot you could have at least pretended to be mildly frightened!" Quackerjack said indignantly.
Wasting no time, Bushroot grabbed the jester by the collar and roared, "WHERE IS HE!"
"Well you've got to be a little more specific than that! There's a lot of 'he's out there, which one do you want? Clint Beakwood? The Pope? Tad Stones? Who, I ask you, who?!" Quackerjack cried.
Bushroot let out a vicious snarl that made Quackerjack pale.
"Look! Behind you!" the clown shouted.
Bushroot glanced over his shoulder, and Quackerjack used his break in concentration to wriggle out of his grasp. He grabbed Megavolt's arm and broke into a run.
"Ha, dumb Bushy, he fell for the oldest trick in the – ACK!"
Quackerjack and Megavolt suddenly felt something snag around their middle. They looked down, only to see Bushroot's tentacle-like arms wrapped around their waists.
"Let go of us you stupid weed!" Megavolt screeched angrily.
"I don't think so…" Bushroot cooed in a voice not his own.
He hoisted them up in the air. Their heads bumped against the ceiling and their feet dangled helplessly.
"AAAUUGGHH! Put me down, put me down!" Megavolt wailed.
Quackerjack pulled out his doll and begged, "Mr. Banana Brain, help us!"
"No way, you're on your own!" Mr. Banana Brain said.
"Fair weather friend!" Quackerjack snapped, stuffing his toy back into his pocket, "Shouldn't there some kind of mysterious vigilante to help us in our hour of need?!"
"Isn't that Dipwing's job?" Megavolt wondered.
"Oh yeah, never mind then…Liquidator! He'll help us!"
"No, he went home!"
"Why?!"
"Because I told him to!"
"Ahhhh way to go Sparky!"
"Don't call me Sparky!"
Suddenly the door burst open, and in came a fuming Negaduck.
"All right ladies, what's going on in…here?"
"Negaduck! Ya gotta help us!" Megavolt pleaded.
"Yeah, plant boy's gone bananas!" Quackerjack added.
Before Negaduck could get a word in, Bushroot muttered in a strange voice, "Ah, here he is."
Negaduck's insides went cold. That accented tone was unmistakable – but coming from Bushroot? It didn't make sense.
"Okay Bushbrain, did you eat some funny fertilizer or sumthin'?" Negaduck asked hesitantly.
"Give me the pieces!" the plant-duck shouted.
"What are you talking about?!" Negaduck shrieked.
"You know what I'm talking about! Now give me the pieces!"
Bushroot struck out with another leafy tentacle. Negaduck dodged it and growled, "What in Satan's name do you think you're doing?!"
"Funny you should mention Satan," Bushroot said with a sadistic grin, "now give me the pieces, or these two shall die."
Megavolt and Quackerjack began mouthing "give him the pieces" from up above.
"Give me the pieces or these two die!" Bushroot thundered again.
Negaduck pondered this for a moment before saying nonchalantly, "Sounds good to me."
"Oh thanks a lot!" Megavolt snapped bitterly.
Quackerjack sighed dramatically and moaned, "Of all the ways to go…we're done in by Reginald Bushroot!"
Bushroot blinked, his eyes instantly returning to normal. His grip on the two villains slackened and they dropped unceremoniously to the floor.
"Hey…w-what's going on?" he asked bewilderedly.
Negaduck clenched his fists.
"You thick, dim-witted, brainless sack of sawdust! What do you THINK you were doing?!"
"A-a-actually I really d-don't have any idea…was I sleepwalking?" Bushroot stuttered in an innocent voice.
"Yeah, if trying to murder your partners in crime constitutes sleepwalking!" Megavolt yelled.
"I what?" Bushroot shrieked.
"Don't play dumb pollen breath, I always knew you found attempted homicide amusing!" Quackerjack accused.
"I do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
Negaduck rubbed his temples wearily.
"I need a vacation," he mumbled and left the room, leaving the "do too"s and "do not"s behind him.
Megavolt and Quackerjack marched out of the room.
"You know how Bushroot was talking about the pieces?" Megavolt asked quietly.
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, I was just thinking…you know those two pieces we have of that shiny black rock, you know the…oh what's it called…Neville's Eye?"
"That's Devil's Eye, battery brains."
"Yeah whatever. Those two pieces of it we picked up…do you think those are the pieces he was talking about?"
"Piffle. Why would he want two halves of a mysterious but extremely powerful object of magic?" Quackerjack said.
"Okay, if you say so…"
NOTE: If this chapter seems a bit confusing, don't worry. The answers will all come in good time…stay tuned.