Chapter 18: A Romantic Interlude

They ran away.

Tariel, Artalax, and Talia rushed out of the ruins and ran as fast as they could away from the giant robot. Artalax took out his MGPS and looked at it while he was running.

"What are you doing?" asked Tariel.

"I'm looking at the map. I think there's a boundary perimeter defense shield off to the right. If we go there, we might be safe."

"I thought we've established that they don't work."

"It's our only chance! Let's go!"

Artalax turned and ran toward the shield, and the other two followed. The giant robot kept chasing after them. However, after a few minutes of intense running, they managed to make it inside the defense shield's perimeter. They all turned and looked at the giant robot, which rose its giant mechanical arm up in the air and slammed it down, but when the arm hit the shield the whole robot suddenly became engulfed in a conflagration of pink lightning bolts emanating from the shield wall and then disappeared completely.

"A spatial vortex," commented Artalax.

"I get it," said Tariel. "The shields let normal people through, but when a bad guy like that robot hits it the shield teleports them away."

"Yes. And my hunch is that it teleports them to that space we were sent to when we first arrived. So it's an overflow mechanism."

"What do you mean, an overflow mechanism?"

"They probably don't want there to be too many monsters. So if the monsters try to invade a populated area, they'll get teleported to a place where they can be dealt with safely. And plus, it makes it safe if you're inside the shield."

"Where are we anyway?"

"According to this map, we're in a small village. It doesn't look like there are many people here, and the shield is less than two hundred meters in radius."

"Hey! Why don't I get any lines?" Talia interrupted.

"What were you saying?" asked Tariel.

"Throughout this entire adventure it's just been you two jabbering about whatever. I've got by far the fewest lines of dialogue of any of us, except maybe Robari, but he's not with us anymore, so he doesn't count."

"I'm sorry. Did you have something you wanted to tell me?"

"Remember back when we got here, our promise about romantic love scenes?"

"Yes. I said we would do a romantic love scene when we saw a sign from heaven."

"That's what I was trying to tell you. Look at that sign."

Welcome To Themistria Heights

An Official Romantic Interlude Community

Robert C. Heaven, Mayor

"Yeah, I see that," said Tariel. "Okay, we'll do the romantic love scene. Let's go."

"Finally," said Talia. "I've waited ten chapters for this. It's about time."

"I'll stay near the perimeter and scout out the area," said Artalax. "We have our communicators."

A few minutes later…

Tariel and Talia wandered through the village. The village appeared to be strangely deserted: there was nobody outside and all the houses seemed to be empty. Soon, Talia saw a beautiful marble fountain with water shooting up from its top and then splashing back down. Near the water fountain was a large cylindrical metal object, on top of which was a parabolic dish pointing upward, which projeceted an energy beam upward that coalesced to form the hemispherical perimeter shield that surrounded the village.

"Isn't his just a perfect place for a romantic love scene," Talia commented. "It's just so safe here. Such a beautiful area, protected by that magnificent shield generator, all we need is a little background music."

Tariel noticed a small switch embedded into the side of the fountain, and flipped it. Music began to play in the background.

Someday my prince will come…

Someday I'll find my love…

"Anyway, Tariel, I just have one question," said Talia. "Do you ever feel there is something that you've always wanted, and at times you feel you desperately need, but you've never been able to get?"

Tariel thought for a moment. "You mean, like a decent health insurance policy?"

"Yes," said Talia. "I've been meaning to give this to you. I wasn't sure you were the right person, but now I realize you probably are." Talia gave Tariel a scroll, and Tariel opened it.

"Adventurer-class insurance policy, Asclepius Medical Services," Tariel read. "Yes, this looks like what I've been looking for."

"Good. Right before Prince Arthanis sent me off to that cave he gave me this scroll to give to the one who rescued me."

"You didn't just say Arthanis gave that to you? You know his items never work."

"How can this one possibly not work?" said Talia.

Meanwhile, just a few hundred meters away, Artalax was looking around when he saw a vehicle. The vehicle was unlike anything he had seen before. It looked like a tank except that instead of the cannon there was a rod that appeared to be used to project magical energy. On the side the letters "DMC" were printed in large block letters. There were also several guards standing around the vehicle. Artalax approached one.

"Who are you? And what are you doing out here?" Artalax asked.

"I'm from the DMC. Department of Monster Control. We're about to turn this village into ruins."

"You're going to demolish the village?"

"Yes. We've already set the self-destruct timer on the shield generator, and we've put TRX-900s all around the area. As soon as the generator blows this device" – pointing to the magical energy projector on the vehicle – "takes the liberated energy and uses it to summon monsters to the area. The monsters destroy everything, and Themistria Heights becomes Themistria Ruins."

"TRX-900s? I've seen them before, but what do they do?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not permitted to reveal that kind of information."

"Why not?"

"If I did, that would shorten the story by at least five chapters. We have to prolong the clue-seeking for as long as possible in order to make quota."

"Okay, fine. But what about the people? You're not the bad guys, aren't you?"

"Of course we're not. The DMC is a government agency, reporting directly to Prince Larethian. We're in charge of giving Carpathia's adventurers evil to fight while making sure that it doesn't overrun our cities. And as for the people, they've all moved out and most of them are living in Carpathia City now."

Suddenly, Artalax remembered that both Tariel and Talia were in the village – right next to the shield generator, to boot. "I have to go in. I've got friends in there!" said Artalax.

"Hurry. There's only a minute left on the timer!" said the guard.

Tariel and Talia were hugging and kissing each other in a romantic embrace, when suddenly the background music ended and gave way to another sound.

17, 16, 15…

"What is that?" said Tariel, looking around frantically.

13, 12, 11…

"I don't know, said Talia. "But something bad's about to happen."

9, 8, 7…

Tariel and Talia heard Artalax's frantic screams from the distance. "Get out of there now! It's gonna blow!"

"You run away. I'll stay here and fight", said Tariel. "You said you wanted me to be heroic, now I'll be heroic."

2, 1, 0…

The shield generator exploded with a gigantic "BOOM". While Talia ran away, Tariel stayed looking at the wreckage of the generator, when he saw a gigantic monster rise up from the wreckage. It was a fearsome monster, half dragon and half demon, similar in shape, size, and appearance to a Balrog from "Lord of the Rings". Tariel drew his sword and got ready to fight.

The monster swooped down with its right claw and grabbed Tariel in its death-bringing grip. The monster squeezed him for a few seconds, dropped him, and then turned away. Tariel was still conscious, but he was unable to move or get up. He could, however, move his arms enough to fish out the health insurance scroll he had received just minutes earlier.

"Okay, according to this scroll I have to pray to Asclepius, God of Healing, in order to get assistance," he thought.

"I pray to you, Asclepius," Tariel said, "to heal me of my wounds."

Asclepius' voice came back down from the heavens.

Thank you for contacting Asclepius Medical Services. For emergency services, pray "1". For billing inquiries, pray "2". For…

"One", Tariel gasped.

Please enter your policy number.

Tariel looked on the scroll and read off the policy number.

I'm sorry, your level of plan does not cover emergency services. For information about upgrading to the Premium Plus Plan, pray "1". To go back to the previous menu, pray "2". To speak to a representative, pray "3".

"Three," said Tariel.

I'm sorry, all our representatives are currently busy. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly. Now that I've taken 21 words, not including this sentence, to tell you that you're on hold, you can listen to some really cool music. Here goes…

But Tariel's injuries were too deep. While he was on hold, he slipped into unconsciousness.