Disclaimer: Are these characters mine? Yes! Oops, I mean no.
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"Hey, wait up DW – "
Launchpad could barely keep up with Drake as the mallard marched to the blue chairs.
"Where're ya goin'?"
"To get some answers!"
"But, really, don't ya think ya should, well, take a nap or something first? You haven't slept for a whole day, I don't know about you but last time I checked that wasn't all that healthy," the pilot objected.
Drake plopped himself into his seat and stated, "Healthy my webbed foot. I'm as fit as a fiddle, and then some! Besides, I can't go to sleep, the instincts of a hero are calling me – "
"Yeah, and they're calling you crazy," Gosalyn interjected.
Drake scowled at her.
"I'm not crazy."
"Uh huh whatever you say Dad. Anyways, I can't let you go out with your mind in such a fragile state – not without me, that is!" Gosalyn exclaimed excitedly, leaping into her father's lap.
"Oh no no no, I don't think so little lady," Drake tutted, lifting her off, "Your tail feathers are staying HOME."
The duckling's green eyes widened.
"But, if – "
"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts then every day would be Christmas. Now you stay put like a good little girl, and if I catch you out of the house you're grounded for eternity!" Drake declared.
"Tyrant," Gosalyn grumbled sourly, clenching her fists and storming up to her room.
Launchpad watched her leave, then sunk into the adjacent chair.
"So where we headed DW?"
"Drop the 'we' part, pal. You're staying here to keep an eye on Gosalyn."
"Awww c'mon – " Launchpad began.
"No backtalk! Or you'll be grounded too mister!" Drake said while pointing a threatening finger at his sidekick, who quickly backed off.
"Well, ok, but do me a favor and be careful," he pleaded.
"Don't worry LP, Careful is my middle name."
"I thought it was Danger."
"Oh yeah. That too. Drake…Careful Danger Mallard."
A swift punch to the statue and the mallard was gone. Launchpad sighed. He had known "Careful Danger" too long not to notice the exhaustion in his eyes.
Screeeeeech!
Darkwing slammed on the brakes of the Ratcatcher, leaving behind a near fifteen feet long skid mark.
"Curse you red light!" he swore, shaking his fist at the traffic light.
He sighed impatiently and leaned on the handlebars, taking in the soft buzz from the humming engine. As Darkwing waited, he could not help but dwell on the guilt swelling inside him. Never had he wanted to be so harsh on Gosalyn, or Launchpad for that matter, but he had no choice. With what he was about to do, that very last thing he needed was for his rambunctious daughter to get involved.
The red light switched to green, and with an exasperated, "Finally!" the crime fighter gunned the engine and zipped through the intersection. He zoomed farther down the street until coming to a halt in front of the violently out of place Macabre Manor. The instant he stepped past the gates, the vibrant late afternoon sky morphed into a dark, vicious tempest. Darkwing held onto his hat and leaned into the rain, finally making it to the safety of the front porch.
Darkwing waited outside the door and mentally readied himself for his girlfriend's impending wrath. Her performance earlier today had made it very clear to him that she did not want to see his face for quite awhile, let alone in an hour.
At long last, Darkwing raised his fist but with no intention of knocking. The heavy oaken door swung open on cue, and before you could say "suck gas" he was greeted with a "TAKE THIS YOU CAPED GRUB WORM YOU!"
The next thing he knew, Darkwing's cape wound itself around him stoutly, causing him to resemble a very purple mummy.
"Hey! Jeez Morg, I knew you were miffed but seriously here!" the masked mallard shouted indignantly.
"Oh Dark, it's just you!"
Morgana floated out of the shadows, her fingers still sizzling from the spell. To Darkwing's infinite shock she rushed forward and hugged him tightly. The mallard raised an eyebrow.
"Um, okay…I'd hug you back, but I'm a little wrapped up at the moment," he joked.
"Thank the Grim Reaper you're safe," the sorceress whispered.
Darkwing's brow furrowed and he asked bewilderedly, "I'm safe? What are you talking about – and what was with the 'caped grub worm' remark?"
"It's nothing, for a moment I thought you were…someone else."
Morgana drew away from him and glided back into her house. With his cape wrapped around him so snuggly he could scarcely twitch a feather than move his legs, Darkwing was forced to follow her awkwardly on tiptoe.
"Uh, Morg, could you do something about my cape? It's heh heh, starting to go boa constrictor on me," Darkwing said nervously, straining his neck.
"Oh, sorry," Morgana apologized, and with a snap of her fingers the cape went limp.
The sorceress paced quietly, glancing out the window every five seconds.
"Whatsa matter Morg? You seem a little antsy," Darkwing asked.
"I told you it's NOTHING," she replied firmly, "Now, what did you come to see me about?"
Darkwing eyed her suspiciously but resumed anyway, "Well with Gos having her little 'episodes' and stuff – "
"What's the 'stuff'?" Morgana stated more than questioned.
"It's, er, nothing, I just um, kinda sorta heard this voice in my head…" the mallard chuckled.
"Sleep," Morgana countered flatly.
"What of it?"
"Have you gotten any?"
"If you must know, even though it has no relevancy to the current situation whatsoever, technically…no."
"Dark!"
"Hold you horses Morgana!" the crime fighter cut in before she could object, "This isn't a sleep deprivation problem, I know it! Now, I need you to help me with something in order for me to figure this calamity out!"
Morgana sighed, "Fine. What is it you require help with?"
"Can you by any chance open a portal to another universe?"
"What?! Oh yes, of course, I open portals every morning before breakfast. NO I CAN'T OPEN ONE!"
"Come ooonnn Morg, I need to further my criminal investigation!" Darkwing whined childishly.
"Okay okay okay! I'll open the portal!" Morgana sighed wearily, marching into the library and pulling out the hefty tome of So You Want to End the World. She began flipping through the pages as she asked, "So what's this universe of yours called?"
"The Negaverse."
So You Want to End the World hit the floor with a loud THUD!
"The Negaverse! What do you know about it?!" Morgana practically shrieked.
"I know enough…what do you know about it?" Darkwing asked skeptically.
"It's just that someone…never mind. Step back so you don't get sucked into oblivion," Morgana snapped and raised her hands to begin summoning the portal.
Darkwing crossed his arms and objected, "Morgana you're not being honest with me, how do you know about the Negaverse?"
The sorceress ignored him and asked suddenly, "Is this a parallel universe?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that – but how did you know that little morsel of information, hmmm?" Darkwing questioned.
"Because it's a horizontal opening, that's how!" Morgana returned.
She knelt down and brought her arm to the floor.
"Arm stiff, pivot at the shoulder," she muttered, more out of habit than necessity.
The sorceress trailed her finger across the oaken boards, and in its wake left a glowing, green line. Carefully, Morgana brought the backs of her hands together, palms out, and continued to spread apart the green crack. She opened the portal as far as she could reach, until it resembled an unearthly shining manhole in the middle of her library.
Morgana peered down into the vortex, the green light illuminating her white feathers.
"Is this it?" she questioned uncertainly.
Darkwing leaned over the doorway. He gazed down at the vast array of random objects, ranging from a whip to a kitchen sink, all floating around aimlessly.
"That's it all right," he commented, "I'm going in, be back in a jiff!"
The crime fighter made to step into the threshold, but Morgana held him back.
"You seem so tired, are you sure this isn't too rash?" she asked quietly.
"Of course not, when have I ever been rash?"
Morgana wisely chose not to answer that particular question and opted for, "Do be careful Dark, I'm worried about you."
Darkwing Duck strode forward confidently.
"No need for worries m'dear, I'm always in control of the situati – WAAAAHHH!"
Completely forgetting about the universal portal directly on the floor in front of him, Darkwing accidentally fell right into it. Morgana sighed and shook her head.
Gosalyn Mallard gave her pillow a tough punch. Her face as hard as stone, she slouched on her bed and held her head in her hands.
"This royally stinks. I coulda had a cool dad who lets me go out on top secret missions for the government but NOOOOOO, I get stuck with Mr. Neurotic who makes me stay home cuz it's probably to 'dangerous'!"
She leaned back, but felt an uncomfortable lump underneath her.
"What the…"
Gosalyn reached down and pulled out a tennis ball. Casually she began tossing it against the opposite wall and catching the rebound. Swish through the air, thunk as it hit the wall, and smack when it returned to her palm. Swish thunk smack. Swish thunk smack.
"This. Is. So. Boring!" she cried at long last.
The duckling heaved the fuzzy yellow ball as hard as she could. It dinged off the corner of the vanity, causing the mirror to wobble precariously. She leapt off her bed with a nervous "Yipes!" and grasped the mirror before she owed her dad a year's worth of allowance.
"Phew…" she breathed, staring at her relieved reflection.
"Miss Waddlemeyer…"Gosalyn stiffened and watched her face pale. No one had called her that in three years.
"W-w-who said that?" she asked.
"Don't be afraid Miss Waddlemeyer, I won't hurt you," the voice answered.
"I'm not afraid!" Gosalyn declared a lot braver than she felt, "Where are you? Why can't I see you?"
"My physical body is simply beyond my reach."
"Who are you?"
The voice answered calmly, "You know who I am. Search the darkest corner of you mind, find the hidden memories buried in the depths of your soul."
The redhead thought hard for a moment.
"Uh, I'm searching every corner and I'm coming up empty," she replied to the invisible companion.
"I, my darling, am your father. Your true father. Mr. Waddlemeyer."
Darkwing emerged from the other end of the portal like a purple bullet erupting from a blast cannon. He screamed as he sailed through the air until he hit the very hard, very solid floor.
"Oh…all my dear little vertebrae…" he moaned as he rolled onto his back.
The masked mallard stared up at the ceiling. Boy, did that ceiling ever look familiar. In fact, it almost looked like Morgana's library ceiling –
It was Morgana's library ceiling. Darkwing sat bolt upright and looked around. He was in Morgana's library, the same place he had left it back in his universe. But now, in the Negaverse, thing's weren't quite the same. The wooden supports were unkempt and rotting, the wallpaper peeled off the walls in great strips, torn apart books were scattered everywhere; it was the complete opposite of Morgana's usually neat and business-like household.
The crime fighter rose to his feet nervously. It had taken him long enough to get used to Morgana's house back home, let alone this one. He left the library and made his way down the hall. The whole experience was much like picking his way through a war zone. Various objects and debris littered the already filthy walkway. Most unsettling, however, was the utter lack of sound. While Morgana's normal house – it felt strange considering Morgana's house "normal" – exhibited a variety of odd noises, this house was uncannily silent. It was death and decay in every aspect.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Darkwing found his way to the front porch. He waited for the manor door to shut on its own, but it stood stalk still. He closed it gently, then shuddered. A brisk walk took him through the yard and onto the streets, leaving him more than glad to leave the strange house behind.
Darkwing strode down the streets of Nega-St. Canard. The Friendly Four had certainly been doing their share – the grass was green, the electricity was functioning, and the air seemed cleaner. A few people were even braving the streets.
A meek old goose stepped out of a small store and bumped into Darkwing.
"Oh, sorry sir," the goose began, but then caught sight of Darkwing and breathed fearfully, "Negaduck…"
"What? Where?! I'll get that – oh, you mean me. Don't worry, I'm not Negaduck, I just look like him!" Darkwing asserted.
"Ahhh! Lord Negaduck's back!" the terrified civilian screamed, sprinting for his life.
At the sound of the call, two menacing looking thugs ambled out of an alley and up to Darkwing. They greeted him with an excited, "Lord Negs! Yer back! Where ya been pal, those damn Friendly Four punks been takin' over da place!"
"But I'm not Negaduck, I'm…"
Darkwing Duck trailed off, noticing the quizzical looks on their faces, and more importantly, the knives in their belts.
"I mean, I'm uh," Darkwing lowered his voice in his best Negaduck impression, "Yes, I am uh, Lord Negaduck…um…fear me!"
"Are we gonna start anutter revolution again Lord Negs? Are we, are we?"
"Uh, yeah, sure, viva la revolucion!"
"Where do ya wants us to begin?"
"I want you to begin by uh, let's see, walking away and um, going in the opposite direction and walking away. Yes, that's where I want you to begin," Darkwing spouted.
The thugs stared at him doubtfully but followed their orders nonetheless. The mallard grinned smugly to himself. Foolish felons, so easily manipulated. Now to find the Friendly Four…wait a second…
"Hey guys, wait – ahem, I mean, you two get back here! Where might I find the Friendly Four?" Darkwing called.
"Hell boss, if we knew dat we woulda mutilated dem already! Do you want us ta find 'em and hurt 'em for ya?" a thug asked.
"No!" Darkwing said quickly, "Er, no, you will do nothing of the sort. In fact, leave them alone, don't bother them ever again, and always do what they tell you…give them a false sense of security ya know…and then, uh, I'll go after them and take care of them…personally! Uh, mwahaha!"
"Okay, whatever you say Lord Negs, I think."
The thugs strolled away, thoroughly confused. Meanwhile, Darkwing Duck began a very futile search for the Friendly Four.
"A master detective like me – sensitive to the most diminutive detail – and I can't find four of the biggest superheroes in town!" Darkwing ranted.
The frustrated mallard sank down onto a stool at Hamburger Hippo which, contrary to the other universe, was sparkling clean.
"What's a duck to do…" Darkwing moaned, rubbing his eyes.
"Dat'll be five bucks," the manager grunted to the person seated next to Darkwing.
"Here ya go my good man," came a cheery, albeit nasal, tone.
Darkwing's head popped up.
"I'd know that voice anywhere…"
The crime fighter turned around and came face to face with none other than –
"Megavolt!"
Nega-Megavolt blinked and stuttered, "Is that…are you…Darkwing ol' pal!"
The rodent enveloped Darkwing in a hug that caused his feathers to stand on end with static.
"Long time no see! How ya been?" Nega-Megavolt asked jovially.
"Not too bad, and yourself?"
"Great great, intercepted a local bank robbery, liberated a few light bulbs here and there, you know, the usual stuff. So what brings you to these parts?"
"Actually, my St. Canard's been having some issues – well, bigger issues than the norm – and I was wondering if I could talk to Gosalyn. Where is she?" Darkwing asked.
"She should be back at the hideout I'm hypothesizing," Nega-Megavolt mused, "C'mon, I'll give you the grand tour!"
Nega-Megavolt and Darkwing stepped into the old abandoned warehouse – Darkwing was beginning to notice a trend – and greeted the surprised faces of the remaining Friendly Four.
"Well look what the rat dragged in!" Nega-Quackerjack laughed, shaking Darkwing's hand.
"I'm sure you'll agree – it's great to see you again!" Nega-Liquidator boomed.
With a warm smile Darkwing said his hellos and did a brief catching up with his old friends. After a bit of the facts of life and some funny anecdotes, he finally asked, "So where's Gosalyn?"
"She's at school, but she should be home any minute now. What's up Darkwing?" Nega-Bushroot asked.
"It's kinda hard to explain, but some really bizarre things have been going on."
"Such as?" Nega-Quackerjack asked.
"Let's just say my St. Canard's going off its rocker," Darkwing informed, "Have you guys been experiencing any peculiarities here?"
"Not that I can remember," Nega-Megavolt replied, frowning.
"One hundred percent guaranteed!" Nega-Liquidator added.
"What about Gosalyn though, has she been acting a little abnormal?" Darkwing pressed.
Nega-Quackerjack looked worried but told him, "Not at all, she's as fine a .2 inch yo-yo string!"
Darkwing Duck smiled half-heartedly.
"So she's completely normal, everything here's completely normal," the masked mallard murmured in a lost voice, "so it's just MY St. Canard under MY watch that's having problems."
"If anything's after you and you Gosalyn I'll knock 'em limb from limb!" Nega-Bushroot said bravely.
"Any way we could help? We still owe you big time, and you look awful tired," Nega-Megavolt asked.
"No, no, that's okay, you guys answered my questions…I'm the indomitable Darkwing Duck, I can solve this case."
"Well, okay, but if you ever need anything remember: we're just another dimension away," Nega-Quackerjack assured.
Darkwing smiled a bit m.
"Thanks fellas. I'll keep that in mind. And say hi to Gosalyn for me!"
The crime fighter waved goodbye and stepped back out into the street, feeling thoroughly dejected. He knew there hadn't been much hope to begin with, but he had still clung to the fleeting idea that someone understood his plight. And didn't think he was crazy.
Darkwing marched back to Nega-Macabre Manor, rather reluctant to return. He took a deep breath and walked inside – only to gag. He was greeted by a horrific odor, one he couldn't place. All he knew was that is smelled as bad if not worse than Gosalyn's gym bag.
Coughing a few times and wafting the air in front of him, Darkwing took in his surroundings. The deplorable conditions he had left before were now worsened by a tenfold. The entire left wall was missing as if blown away by a bomb, and the remains of the dilapidated house were burnt, charred and blackened.
The mallard's heart began to race as he stepped gingerly through the hallway. Someone had obviously been here, and it being Macabre Manor, three guesses as to who that someone was. What if she discovered the portal – or gone through it?
He finally found his way into the library. Thankfully, it looked basically the same as he left it. Darkwing could see the glowing portal on the other side of the room. Sighing with relief he headed towards it.
The faint sound of tiny footsteps suddenly echoed throughout the library. Darkwing stiffened. Those weren't his footsteps. He took a few more steps to be sure. The other pair of feet followed in suite. Darkwing whipped out his gasgun, his eyes darting left and right. Nega-Morgana must be after him, and if Negaduck was any indication, she would want to A: hurt him, or B: hurt him very badly.
"Okay Morgana, I know you're here, so in the name of the law I demand you show yourself! Wait a second – Morgana never makes footsteps. Well, that doesn't mean this Morgana doesn't make them now, does it Darkwing? Yeah, I guess I'm right…oh no, I'm talking to myself…" Darkwing Duck groaned.
He began walking backwards, edging ever closer to the portal, still holding out his gun.
"I'm a black belt of Quack Fu, master in every known manner of hand to hand combat, you don't want to mess with me," he bluffed, "Spelling bee champion…I'm…um…I'm very good at Parcheesi – WAAAAHHHH!"
Once again, Darkwing forgot where he was headed and accidentally fell into the portal like a sack of bricks.
Gosalyn felt as though her whole world had come to a halt. This had to be a joke, some sick joke. Still…
"But I thought you were dead," she whispered.
The voice replied eerily, "Not as dead as you might think. I have returned, and I want to be your father once more."
"Sorry Mister, but Dad's my dad now. I mean, you know, Drake? Mallard?"
"Oh yes, him," the voice said as if the mere thought was poison, "but doesn't he stifle you? Suppress you? Hold back your obvious talents?"
Gosalyn could not help but grin with flattery.
"Gee, thanks…well, he doesn't let me go out and do fun crime fighting stuff I guess."
"But you are such an asset! Your agility, your intelligence – he's holding you back!" the voice asserted.
Gosalyn slowly edged back to her bed and sank down.
"This is too weird…how do you know so much about me?"
"I am your father after all, I watch you from afar. I know you enjoy video games, have a love for monstrous creatures, and you have more than once become the amazing Quiverwing Quack."
"Well I haven't been Quiverwing since – "
"Taurus Bulba."
"Yeah, how'd you – oh, right, watch me or whatever."
The duckling gulped. Her father – well, Darkwing – had always told her not to talk to strangers, and this was as strange as it got. She was smart. She wouldn't get involved. She'd just play along, just for kicks.
"This Taurus Bulba, what do you think of him?""What do I think of him?" Gosalyn repeated in a self-important tone, "Only that he's a big ugly loser who was in a serious need of a reality check! He's gone now though, the big pushover, and I'll never have to see his stupid metal face again!"
The voice replied smoothly, "I see…and what do you think of me?"
Gosalyn was slightly taken aback by the blunt question.
"Of you? Well, I dunno, I haven't known you for very long, but you're nice I guess. And friendly, you're okay to talk to I think."
"Am I trustworthy?""Uh, sure," Gosalyn said with a shrug.
"Interesting…"Darkwing exploded out the other end of the portal, hit the floor, and skidded to a halt.
"Weeelllll, that was LOADS of help, and fun along the way too!" he ranted sarcastically, getting to his feet, "Quick Morgana, close the portal before any unwanted guests sneak through – "
"That just wouldn't do now, would it Mr. Duck?" asked a crackling old voice.
Darkwing's brow furrowed.
"Hey Morg, you might want to take some throat lozenges or something, you sound terrible…oh no. No. Please, no."
The mallard looked up to see the owner of the voice, who was none other than Moloculo Macabre.
"What are you doing here?!" Darkwing and Moloculo growled simultaneously.
Morgana looked crossly between the two as they glowered at each other.
Moloculo was trembling with rage as he cursed "This is the last straw mortal! Grim Reaper knows what damage you could have caused, messing with the stability of the universe like an ignorant peasant! I come over here to visit my darling daughter, only to find that she has fallen prey to your shenanigans!"
"Father calm down, please," Morgana muttered with an edge of annoyance.
Moloculo ignored her and continued, "Magic isn't a child's plaything! And you brought Gosalyn with you as well! You call yourself a father, phfft."
"Get your facts straight Herman Munster, Gosalyn's at home in her room, so there!" Darkwing retorted.
Moloculo raised an eyebrow and pointed past the crime fighter.
"If Gosalyn's at home, then just who is she?"
Darkwing followed Moloculo's gaze, turned around, and saw Gosalyn wave at him sheepishly. Make that a Gosalyn with red spiral curls, a fluffy pink dress, and shiny black shoes waved at him sheepishly.
"Gos? Dark, what's going on?" Morgana questioned hesitantly.
"Gosalyn," Darkwing hissed, "How did you get here?"
"I – I followed you," Nega-Gosalyn whispered.
"Quick, go back through the portal sweetie, this isn't a good time!"
"But, I can't, it's closed…"
"Morgana open that portal back up!" Darkwing demanded.
Before the sorceress could say a word Moloculo objected, "No she certainly will not! You've already destroyed enough universes today. Maybe you'll learn your lesson as a walrus!"
He launched a spell at Darkwing, who quickly ducked to avoid it.
"Missed me, missed me!" Darkwing taunted childishly.
Moloculo snarled and began charging up another spell. Holding him back, Morgana said hurriedly, "We'll talk about this later Dark, just get out of here!"
Darkwing snatched Nega-Gosalyn's hand and rushed her out of the house, leaving Moloculo's fervent cries of "Walrus! WALRUS!" behind. They dashed through the front yard until they made it safely to the street.
"I thought this universe was supposed to be friendly," Nega-Gosalyn breathed, glancing back at the house reproachfully.
"Don't let him give this place a bad rep, Moloculo and the rest of the planet just don't get along very well," Darkwing grumbled, "Now, Gos, as much as I enjoy seeing you again…WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
"Well I saw you go in the hideout and I wanted to ask you some questions but I couldn't ask them in front of the Friendly Four so I decided to follow you and then you went through the portal and I wanted to join you!" she gushed in one breath.
Darkwing sighed.
"So you were the footsteps I heard…look Gos, my St. Canard's a dangerous place right now. I have to get you home, it's not safe here."
"May I just stay a little longer, please? Please Darkwing Duck?" Nega-Gosalyn pleaded sweetly.
"You're gonna have to until I can get Morgana to open the portal again. C'mon let's go home – " Darkwing faltered, "wait, we can't go home…my Gosalyn would have a field day if she saw you. Let's just go to the tower."
Though the way he referred to her counterpart as "my Gosalyn" stung slightly, Nega-Gosalyn held Darkwing's hand as they strolled down the street. The duckling gazed in awe at the pristine buildings and breathed in the fresh, pure air. As much as she loved her home and the Friendly Four, this place was a veritable Eden.
"So uh, lay some of those questions of yours on me kiddo," Darkwing said conversationally.
Taking a deep breath, Nega-Gosalyn asked quietly, "Well, I was just wondering for the longest time, what happened after…after you left? After you jumped in the cake?"
"Whoa, that's a pretty loaded question there…all right, after I jumped in the cake, I chased Negaduck through the portal. There was an itsy bitsy little accident with the universal plug, and the portal collapsed. I, being the clever conqueror I am, managed to escape, but Negaduck got whisked into oblivion."
Nega-Gosalyn gasped silently and brought a terrified hand to her mouth. Darkwing didn't notice, and continued, "I don't know how in the world the darned cuss got back out, next thing I know he's mercilessly terrorizing the populace – "
"You mean Negaduck's here? Alive?" Nega-Gosalyn cut in, her face lifting.
"Yes, unfortunately."
"That's so wonderful! He's alive! I can't believe it!" the duckling cried joyously.
Darkwing frowned and shook his head.
"I wouldn't get too excited if I were you, it's Negaduck we're talking about here. I mean just last week he tried to…oh, I can't say it…those poor bunnies…"
"But, living in this beautiful world must have changed him, I know it!" Nega-Gosalyn asserted.
"Sorry Gos, if anything it made him worse. He's a dastardly degenerate, a craven criminal, an antisocial aberrant, an iniquitous…"
Darkwing's babbling fell on deaf ears. Nega-Gosalyn refused to believe any of it until she saw him for herself.
"It's not my fault you landed on Mallard Gardens! I've got five hotels on it, so pay up!"
Bushroot begrudgingly shoved the fake money into Quackerjack's hands.
"Thanks Bushbum…c'mon Megs, role the dice it's your turn!"
"Oh sorry, I forgot…ooh, snake eyes, I get one of those card things!"
Quackerjack picked up the card and read it aloud.
"Go to jail. Go directly to jail – "
"Jail? No problem, as long as I get the top bunk."
" – Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars."
"WHAT?!" Megavolt roared, "WHY NOT?!"
Quackerjack grinned and said, "It's the rules Sparky. Now move your little metal hat butt to jail!"
Megavolt grumbled "Don't call me Sparky" sourly and moved his game piece to the appropriate square.
With a roll of the dice, Quackerjack declared smugly, "I on the other hand shall gladly pass go and gladly collect my two hundred dollars. Liquidator, the dough please?"
"We are sorry to announce that the bank is completely out of hundred dollar bills," the watery villain answered.
"What? That's impossible…" Quackerjack retorted. Just then the jester noticed Liquidator's suspiciously high pile of hundreds.
"Liquidator! You've been embezzling, embezzler! I knew we shouldn't have made you the banker!"
"I did not embezzle!" Liquidator objected.
"The dog of water lies!" Mr. Banana Brain proclaimed.
"Liar liar pants on fire!" Quackerjack added.
"The survey says that you should SHUT UP!" Liquidator growled.
"Jail break! Jail break!" Megavolt screamed as he prodded his tiny metal game piece out of jail.
The pandemonium came to an abrupt halt when suddenly the door slammed open with such force that plaster broke free from the ceiling and rained upon the Fearsome Four's heads. Three Doberman bounded into the room, snarling and snapping until they saw Bushroot.
As the hounds gleefully sniffed the disgusted plant-duck, Negaduck stormed into the room. One heated look from beneath the red fedora sent shivers up the villains' spines. They quickly scooted out of the way as Negaduck stomped past them and headed for the window. They watched silently as he stared out into the street, his nails digging into the wooden sill, his teeth bared.
"I haven't seen him this mad since he was summoned for jury duty," Quackerjack whispered to Megavolt.
"What do we do?" Megavolt whispered back.
"I'll tell you what we're going to do Sparky," Negaduck answered to genuinely surprised Megavolt, "We've got a mission tonight. Get ready."
There was silence until Megavolt asked timidly, "W-what mission?"
Negaduck heaved the window shut so hard that the glass panes shattered. The Fearsome Four jumped involuntarily. He stared at them intensely, the red light of the evening sunset reflecting off of his face, giving it an almost hellish appearance.
"We're hunting down Mr. Damned Goody Two-shoes himself. The terror that wastes space in the night. Bring him to me – alive."
NOTE: Yeah, long chapter I know, but if you read the whole thing you have my eternal gratitude.