Name: If history could be changed...

Summary: What would have happened if Harry's parents hadn't have fallen to the Dark Lord

Opening line: This story is painfully long and took me an hour to write, but it is worth it in the end. Please read it all!

It was a dark, murky evening, and Lily and James Potter were hiding from the Dark Lord, Voldemort.

"Honey, what are we going to do? The Dark Lord Voldemort is after us... How do you know we can trust that Peter Pettigrew person?" Lily asked James nervously.

"Don't worry, dear, I strapped a proximity mine on him. When someone comes close to him, in this case, Lord Voldemort-"

"Do not speak his name James," Lily pointed out.

"Ah, quite right you are dear. Anyway, in this case, 'You know moo', will be blown up into a billion p-"

BOOM!

Lily and James looked outside. Peter's and two other bodies lay frazzled and smoking on the floor. It appeared that he had clashed with a lady walking a poodle.

"DAMMIT!" Peter yelled through a singed mouth.

"Oh well, so much for that idea," James shrugged.

"What are we going to do now honey?" Lily said, with a noticeable amount of panic in her voice.

"Sit here by the front door and wait for the pizza boy." James said in reply.

"James!" Lily cried. She began to weep.

"Aw, honey, come here... There there," he said, patting her on the back and hugging her. "I have a few more tricks up my sleeve!"

"Really?" Said Lily, her face immediately lighting up.

"Yeah, you watch. I got about 3 aurors to guard the place for me." James directed Lily's eyes towards the window again. "Look, there in the corner. That's Madman Moose. And over by the lampost is Snickering Sam. Oh, and the fat bum in the middle of the street? He's Mark the devourer."

"Oh, um, I feel... Much safer..." Lily said, nearly breaking into tears once more.

"What's the matter? They're Aurors! They're great at protecting!"

"Are you sure THEY are good at protectiong people though? That Madman Moose looks like the only thing he could protect would be a mental hosbital's funds, that Snickering Sam could only protect a clown's job and that Mark the devourer could probably only protect a full football goal net!"

"Actually, Lily dear, they can also protect themselves."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure that Mark the devourer will do a good job of flattening him."

Lily began to cry. "I just want our safety, james! I'm so worried... About me and you, our son..."

"Aw, don't worry about lil Harry up there! If the Dark Lord climbs in through one of the windows, I have my baby monitor ready!"

"Does the baby monitor have magical laser beams guns attached to it?" Lily asked, looking up hopefully at James.

"No, but it does have something just as good!" James smiled.

"Oh? And what might that be?" Lily asked, sitting up against the door, interested.

"A self-destruct function." James answered.

"JAMES! THAT'LL TAKE HARRY WITH IT!"

"Oh yeah, I didn't quite think of that." James pondered. "Maybe I should have stuck with the integrated swinging axe."

Lily slouched down. "We're going to die, aren't we James?"

"Now you hold on there! I have one last little trick-"

BANG BANG BANG.

"RAAAH! Let me in or die the horrible way!"

"Oh my goodness, James, he's here!" Lily said, shooting away from the door and into the back room.

James followed her.

"Lily, evacuate the house!" James yelled.

"NO! Not without you James!" Lily yelled back in reply over the loud knocks on the door.

"Fine." James said, tutting. "But to add to the drama I'm meant to die for you here."

"It's dramatic enough! Now out we go!"

James followed Lily to the back door. Lily jumped out in panic, but James stopped just before the door, and entered in four numbers in the burglar alarm.

"What is the point James? We know he's coming!"

"Ah, but does the machine?"

They locked the door behind them, and ran as fast as they could across the back garden. Climbing over their brick garden wall, James pulled out a sliver telescope.

"What on EARTH is that, James?" Lily asked him with a snarl.

"It's a muggle item. I retrieved it from a kind man called Arthur Weasley. You can see things far off with it. Now watch what happens in the house..."

Lily and James both pulled their eyes close into the glass of the telescope, peering into the house.

"James, I can't hear anything!" Lily complained.

"Oh yes, it won't be very entertaining without sound. Cresendo!"

"Cresendo Isn't even a SPELL, James." Lily reminded him.

"It is now." And all of a sudden, they could hear everything that was going on in the house.

Voldemort blasted the door open and through the french windows on the other side of the house.

"Watch your head, Lily." James said as the door flew over the wall they were looking over. "Lily?"

She was crouched really low beneath him. "What are you doing, dear?" James asked.

"MINDING MY BLOOMIN' HEAD!" She shouted as she stood up.

They continued to watch what was happening.

"I'm surprised how Harry can keep so quiet right now. he's in the same house as the Dark Lord!"

"I know. Harry is very brave." James and Lily kissed.

Ew.

Shouldn't have typed that, James' new mustache went in her mouth.

"Unidentified flying door. Preparing scan."

Lily and James stopped kissing.

"Who is that speaking? It dosn't sound human."

"It's the burglar alarm. Keep watching."

"Front door missing. Preparing humanoid scan."

A red light flashed through the house.

"Two humanoid life-forms. One unidentified. Voice recognition stage. Please say your name."

"Erm... Er... James Potter? Voldemort lied.

"Scanning files for name: Ermer James Potter... One incomplete match. James potter. Voice unmatched. Die burglar DIE!"

Laser beams fired out of all the walls, flash-frying Lord Voldemort to crisps. Lily and James were saved!

"Oh James, how could I have doubted you for a second! I'm glad I married you!"

While James and Lily snogged intently, little Harry Potter climbed down the stairs and sang 'I'm a survivor'.

"I'm a survivor, he's just a diver, I've nicked a fiver, from a bus driver!" Harry sang.

Then a dozen Wizards suddenly came out of nowehere and started doing the 'I'm a survivor' dance.

Harry, aware of what was coming next, dashed upstairs and hid under his crib.

"12 unidentified life-forms. Die burglars DIE!"

Rocket launchers and machine guns spread out from the ceiling and walls. The dancing wizards scrambled in different direction to escape the pursuiting bullets.

But Lily and James just simply laughed. They were safe now. And that was all that mattered to them.

I really apologise for the inconvenience of this story being so long... I will try in the future to make it as short as possible! Meanwhile, why not review it since you got this far...