Authors Notes
Name : Every Breath You Take
Blood Type: One Shot
Scientific Name : Oneshotius Angstic
A/N : Made this for a friend, Beth.I don't usally do DxH, but for her, nyet. >. Expect mild fluff, mostly angst, and lots of spaces near the end. I have a headache. I need a bump. >. By the way, the POV is a little shaky, it TENDS to change between every 'I'll be watching you', but there are a few exceptions. Just think reaaal hard about how I portrayed Draco and Harry. Harry ukeish one who admits he loves Malfoy. Draco selfish seme who gets around and doesn't give a damn about our 'woe begotten hero'. The intro is Harrys POV, and we go from there...
This world was not made to find the top dog. It was not made in honor of the richest man, the best dressed woman, the highest bidder. It was made for love, it was made to be a haven for those so lucky to find it. By the time I had realized it, I had already lost my chance. Now I watch- I do not wait, because I would be waiting forever. But I watch. I watch him.
I love him. I love him and I hate loving him. Why do these things happen to me? I'm always the woebegotton hero, and for one moment, that one moment we shared, everything lifted. But now I know his ways. Malfoy gets what he wants, then leaves the carcass. I still want my heart back, but even still it would be broken. He has turned my into an emotionless zombie. I can only move and watch. Watch him.
Every breath you take
Every move you make+
Even in Quidditch matches my eyes stray from the snitch and fall upon him. His milky pale skin, his lithe frame, his wind tousled blonde hair. In those few moments that his monotonic sneer does not rest on his face, I savor the sight of him.
Every bond you break
Every step you take+
I know everything. I'm like some sort of fanatic. I know the on-and-off relationship of Pansy and Draco, his weekly escapades with Pamela. He's even dared to venture from his own House, seducing Ravenclaws or unwary Hufflepuffs. Never has he tried a Gryffindor. Not again.
I'll be watching you+
I hate him. I hate him and I love hating him. I relish in the fact that Potter knows that I hate him, and I flaunt this knowledge whenever I can. Whether its charming his book bag or 'accidently' burning his homework. I love hating him. I really, really do.
Every single day
Every word you say+
It's like some kind of curse. I loathe him so much, yet my eyes never stray from him. I hear each frustrated syllable he shares with Ron- it almost makes me happy to know that the twos momentary (and very controversial) fling is over. I know every apology, every shout, every curse that ever escaped those perfect lips. Those perfect lips I want nothing more than to see curve into a delicate frown.
Every game you play
Every night you stay+
And yet I pine to ravish him with the kisses his ex-lover does. I said I knew everything about him- I do. I know when he and Weasley share those furative kisses in the boys bathroom stall, or in Moaning Myrtles Bathroom, or in the Quidditch Supplies Room. But only kisses, only teases. I love knowing it never goes farther. It means I'm still in control.
I'll be watching you+
I'm always watching him. It hurts me to know that one night makes me ache for him so badly, and yet three months with Ron and still I feel nothing. I feel guilty, foreign, unwanted.
I'm always watching him. It makes me wonder why his gaze seems to be on mine whenever our paths cross, and yet I am the one who turns his head in shame. I don't need him. I don't.
O can't you see+
He just doesn't understand! He just doesn't know that he aches for me just as I ache for him. He must. He can't not feel this. Or maybe this is how they all feel. I can't tell if I'm being used or loved- no. If I /was/ used or loved.
You belong to me+
I know he wants me. It almost makes me laugh how desperate his dull eyes are. But then I noticed the unfinished plates at dinner, the extremely late walks out by the Lake, his sunken eyes and constant fatigue. I couldn't have caused that. He must be sick. I hold his heart, nothing more. Not even that much- to him, I'm just a good fuck. I /was/. I don't anticipate that night happening again.
How my poor heart aches with every step you take+
He has to love me. I fear I'll die if he won't- no, I will die. I cant think, I'm constantly falling asleep in class, and yet at night, when my weary body cries for bed, I can't sleep. I don't know if I'm sick or in love. I don't know much of anything anymore.
Every move you make
Every vow you break+
He promised Ron he'd meet him at the Quidditch Pitch- I saw him that night lingering by the Room of Requirement. Must he still hang on to that night? Must he still cling to something long gone?
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake+
I can tell he's unhappy, and it's slowly eating at me. I caused that. I made him this depressed, this zombie. I, unlike the Gryffindors, those who call themselves his friends, can tell his grins and reassurances are fake. He's either trying to /make/ himself better, or trying to save me the worry… Or both.
I'll be watching you+
Breathlessly, watching his every move. Silently, as he lay calmly in the summer, basking in the heat. I turn scarlet when he removes his shirt, though it was the entire reason I followed him in the first place. I'm pathetic. I' m truly pathetic.
Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face+
But since that night, I haven't been able to shake the feeling it was more that just a quick fling. That maybe he might feel the same. Dreams of those three little words escaping my lips and the same being returned from his half please me, half haunt me.
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I keep crying baby please+
I ask father for more money so I can drown my worries in butterbeer, or give my current girlfriend some cash to buy herself something skimpy. But even still, with smears of lipstick kisses trailing down my neck, I can't shake it. It's haunting me. His love in haunting me and coaxing a love for him in return.
Every move you make+
Every step, every turn.
Every vow you break+
Every alliance, every promise.
Every smile you fake+
Every grin, every laugh.
Every claim you stake+
Everything about him.
I'll be watching you+
I love him.
I'll be watching you+
I love him.