I don't own Zelda.
A/N: I do not condone smoking weed, or any other illegal narcotic. And on that note, don't smoke anything, those will kill you. Just my opinion though.
The Legend of Zelda: UNRATED
Chapter 2
The Ultimate Puzzle Solver.
Link entered the Deku Tree with Navi at his side. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he gasped at the sight. The tree, which always seemed so solid and sturdy, was hollow inside. Insects of all sorts where crawling around, including Links least favorite.
"Spiders, great." Link sighed.
"What's wrong? Scared?" Navi said, her little mouth grinning.
"N-No, I just need a second." Link stammered "Why don't you go scout around or something."
"Ugh, fine. But when I get back, we are doing this." Navi said as she flew off. Once she was gone, Link got one of the smokes that he pulled off of Mido. He pulled out two small rocks and lit the joint. He inhaled deeply and sighed. Suddenly everything went out of focus for a moment, then everything was normal again. Navi flew down and stoped right in front of his face.
"I found out what to do follow me." She said as she started flying.
"Pretty light." Link said, following.
"GET THE FUCK UP!" Navi shouted in Link's ear.
Link looked around. The first thing he realized is that he was wet. Then he remembered what happened. He smoked one of those smokes he found in Mido's pocket, then everything went fuzzy.
"What the hell happened?" Link asked, shaking off the after effects of the joint.
"You got weird on me, like more than usual." She replied "You just followed me, doing what I told you to do. And when I didn't say anything, you managed to do everything fine. Then you fell down here, and you just laid here for a while."
"Oh" Link said. He felt around his body, to make sure nothing was broken, only to find a slingshot and pellets.
"You don't remember getting that. Boy, you where stoned weren't you?" Navi said.
Link only grunted, then noticed the Deku Scrubs, small weed like creatures that lived in the area, there where three of them in a row. He shot the second, number three, than number one. Suddenly, a chime rang out and another scrub popped out.
"ALAS, YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT OUR SECRET, NOW I MUST TELL YOU OUR MOST TREASURED SECRET. TO DEFEET OUR QUEEN, SHOOT HER EYE, THAN STRIKE HER DOWN." He screamed. "OH MY LADY, I AM SO SORRY" then he vanished.
"I want what he was on" Link said as he walked toward the only door in the room. The door rose as he neared and let him in. He stepped into a large room, Navi floating around his head. Suddenly the door slammed behind him, encasing him in the large room. A rustling came from the ceiling. Link scanned the darkness until he saw a form moving around.
Then it's eye opened.
"WHOLY TITTY FUCK, THAT'S ONE BIG ASS SPIDER!" Link screamed as he jumped to the side. The giant spider continued to move about the shadowed ceiling, russling with every step.
"What the hell are you doing?" Navi said, floating right in front of link's face.
"Well, I think I am hiding, so I don't get my ass kicked by a giant spider." Link replied sarcastically. He was starting to hate this damn fairy.
"Why don't you just Z target the spider, then I can help you kill it." Navi said, as if she had done this a million times before.
" "Z target" what are you talking about?"
"Just shoot at the eye once I fly next to it." Navi said, as she flew off to the creature. Link aimed and shot at the creature, sending it crashing to the ground.
"Kick ass, it worked." He said, then, not knowing what more to do, jabbed the spider in the eye. Gore flew everywhere, so he did it again, and again. Then thinking, he ran his sword through the creature's eye, sticking it to the ground, than beat it with Deku Sticks.
Then, the creature fell limp, then burnt in a green flame into nothingness.
"KICK ASS." Link screamed, than, noticing a heart shaped rock in the remains, he walked over and picked it up. Suddenly, he felt better, healthier. A blue beam appeared in front of him.
"Pretty lights…" He said as he walked into the beam. Navi trailed be hind. Link felt himself being lifted, he looked up, and saw a white hole in the cealing. Then there was only lightness.
End of Chapter 2.
End of Chapter notes
Ok, im horrible for waiting so long, but chapter 2 is done, and I will address some questions that have been asked in reviews.
1: Do you watch RvB: No, but I want to. My computer won't let me, but I have friends with the DVDs, so I will possibly see them soon.
2: Will Link and Sierra hook up: Not in a romantic sense. You have to look at the forest children like I do, and (for the setting of this story) that is that the entire village is like a hippie commune, so they are kind of "Friends with benefits" at most.
3: And what of Link and Zelda: Link will defiantly get a stirring in his pants for the princess, but I cant think of much time where they could be "together" romantically. However, some of the other girls may fall for the young hero.
4: OHHH, TELL ME WHO, PLEASE: No.
5: Will there be a lemon: Yes, I can firmly state that I have one lemon planed, I will warn you all before I poast it though, that way my more concervative readers can avert their eyes.
6: TELL M: NO.
I will get Chap 3 started ASAP, but I don't know when I will finish it. I hope to have the entire game done by the end of the summer, just a goal though. Untill thenKEEP THOSE REVEWS COMING, THE MORE YOU REVEIW, THE MORE I WILL BE INCLINED TO WRITE (that, and you will remind me to update).