Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Just this plot. If you can call it a plot.
So we are starting a new chapter… hmmm. And we left at a cliffhanger. What happens next? SHUT UP! You are probably thinking, GET ON WITH IT you are also thinking. I say to you: calm. It's starting… I also say: this will be long to make up for last time. And… thank you to all of my reviewers! (look it's got an 's' on it, as in more than one!) I never thought people would like my story. I put it up for fun, but now that people like it, I'm going to try to make it make some amount of sense! Again, I'm really sorry about chapter one, it's got the first four, and I don't want it to go back to being chapter three so it's going to stay like that. Although to anyone who is newly reading the story it will make no sense. Ok, I'll be quiet for those of you who so kindly read this, and let you read the story:
6…
"Aqualad?" Cyborg exclaimed.
"What are you doing here?" Raven demanded.
"Friend Aqualad? Aren't you on our side?"
"Aqualad!" Terra said, trying to sound surprised.
"What are you doing?" I snapped.
"Getting your attention, and it worked!" Aqualad said.
"AZARATH METRION ZIN-"
"Don't finish your sentence Raven. I'm not here to hurt you, just to warn you."
"Then why didn't you come to the tower?" Beast Boy asked, scratching his head.
Aqualad rolled his eyes. "Because… Do I honestly have to explain this?"
"HE'S NOT ON OUR SIDE!" The rest of the Titans yelled. Terra moved over to Beast Boy.
"It's okay Beast Boy, I love you, even if your team doesn't!" Terra said.
"YOU SHOULD ROT IN-"
"A-HEM!"
"Oh." Everyone turned back to Aqualad.
"What do you want us to know?" I asked.
"You are all fools, and should mind your own business. If I catch any one of you where you are not supposed to be, I will kill you. No one has disobeyed this yet, but if you do, it's just a warning. Don't disobey. Stay where you belong Titans."
With that Aqualad disappeared.
"Du-ude! What did that mean?" Beast Boy asked.
"Terra why don't you explain." Cyborg said.
"Right, so Beast Boy…" I stopped listening.
"Robin." Raven was standing next to me. "What were you about to say before we left?"
"I was just going to agree with you."
"Oh."
Raven almost sounded disappointed when I said that. Why would she be dissapointed? I thought to myself before I realized she could hear my thoughts.
RAVEN'S POINT OF VIEW (sorry I got sick of Robin's p.o.v.)
"Do you want a ride back?" He offered.
"I can fly."
"I know, but if you wanted a change in things…"
"Ok." I nodded. I wonder why he is offering this to me. He never did to Starfire…
I sat down behind him. "You'll have to put your arms around my waist."
"Oh, right." I hugged him.
"Hold on." He smiled, it was a devilish grin. "Enjoy the ride." Robin took off. I had never been on his R-Cycle, nor did I know he went so fast. My hood was whipped off my head and my hair flew behind me. Cyborg and the rest caught up to us, I noticed Starfire wasn't flying. Instead she was glaring at me from the window of the T-Car. Terra was grinning and being the usual two face she was. I grinned picturing a comet hit her. Childish thoughts Raven… Childish thoughts that Robin can hear. Admit it, you like having him this close, to feel what you feel… (Thanks Rose for the idea hehe –grins at thought of Terra dying-) I felt my powers slipping. No! I have to now… We pulled up in front of the tower.
"Thanks for the ride I have to go medidate now." I said in a rushed voice.
"Oh. Ok Raven, I'll see you later then. I should train and reasearch for Slade anways…" Robin said, the last part more to himself than me. I rushed up to my room, ignoring him. "Cool." Was my last word to him. I grabbed the box off my dresser and sat down on my bed. I traced my fingers over the intricate carvings of ravens and various Latin spells. Azarath Metrion Zinthos was written on the front. The top of my box was clear, my emotions swirling around inside. Red for anger, yellow for happy, black for depressed, navy for sad, were the basic ones, then the more complicated, the ones with faces. Disorder, an angry figure of me, wreaking havoc wherever she went, Order, a calmer, more serene me, Confusing an alone desperate figure constantly wondering where to go and messing with the other emotions, then Love, love held more emotions, anger, depression, happiness, desire, lust, and Swoon. Swoon was seldom seen, a boy-crazed Raven, laughing and (of course) swooning at anything a boy said. I had learned to control swoon very easily. "Order!" I said. "I thought you told me I could be free from you for a week! How come I felt my powers start to grow out of control.
"Swoon." Was orders first response.
"Why was swoon controling my emotions, that is your job as you have explained to me."
"Yes, I know it is my job." Order said calmly.
"Why… why me?" I was angry, but sad at the same time. It was odd to have human feelings, they seemed so primative compared to my emotions.
"Disorder has been hard to control lately." Order snapped me out of my self pity. Pity… Pity was empty, a silver swirling around in the box.
"Why?"
"She wants more blood, you know she feeds off of it don't you?"
"Yes you told me." I was calm, speaking in my monotone as if this were a daily thing. Talking about your emotions wanting blood, your blood nonetheless.
"So, you have to give him more to satisfy him."
"Please, this isn't right, I can't be a…"
"Well then have your emotions back!"
I sighed and pulled the knife out of my dresser drawer.
"RAVEN, COME ON WE HAVE A TEAM MEETING!" Cyborg's voice rang through the air, making me jump.
"I will later." I whispered to the box, but order wasn't listening. My whisper was heard by no one but me. I sighed and left. I can't… this is so wrong. I should just control my emotions… not this easy way out. I sat across from Terra, Beast Boy, and Starfire, Next to Robin, who was diagonal from Cyborg.
"Well. We all know why we are here right?" Robin asked.
"Yes, it's about Aqualad right?" Beast Boy asked.
"Yes! Good job!" Terra squealed.
"Shut up." I uttered the words without meaning too, my dark side back. I let it come, it was better than being human. Yess Raven. A demonic voice said. Get out disorder. Why, I wanted something, you didn't give it to me, so why should I leave? AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS! Calm crimson flashed through my mind, and I was serene again. "Now." Robin's voice brought my from my thoughts.
The meeting seemed to drag on for days. Robin noticed I was more distant than usual, and shot me worried glances occasionaly. "…Something to do with Slade." I sat up. I knew he was avoiding using Terra's name for a reason. He didn't want to infuriate her and make her send Slade to us. Clever… Finally Robin ended the meeting.
"LUNCH!" Cyborg said, the rest of the Titans rushed towards the kitchen. I used this time to slip back to my room.
"So are you ready?" Order was sitting calmly in my box.
"For one day, and this is the last time." I looked at the knife. I picked it up and sat down on my bed.
"Last time?" Order asked.
"Yes." I was sure. This is it… the last time. My arm had white scars zig-zagging up and down it. I closed my eyes and lowered the knife to my skin. Pain shot up my arm. "No…" I had gone deeper than I wanted. Blood poured out. I grabbed a tissue and cleaned it off. Running to my bathroom I washed my arm. I heard knocking. Good enough. I ran over to my door.
"Raven, it's Robin. Let me in."
"Fine." I opened the door. He shut it behind him.
"Why does my arm hurt?" He pushed his sleeve up, no cut was there but blood was running down his arm.
No… it couldn't.
What couldn't?
We are very closely connected Robin.
I know. Happiness washed through me. I like it.
Yes I know you like it, and I do too… But I guess there are things I need to explain, here sit down. I motioned to my bed.
"Why?" He asked me.
"I have the priveledge of holding my emotions in a box." I showed him my box. Order was sitting there, trying to withhold Disorder.
"THAT WASN'T ENOUGH!" Disorder was screaming.
"THEN DON'T BOTHER WITHOLDING YOURSELF!" They were arguing.
"Silence." They were both quiet. "Then don't help me! I'm through!"
"Through with what Raven?" Robin was looking into my eyes.
"I have to cut myself to put my emotions in this box. You see, Disorder likes blood, so it all works out…" Robin wasn't backing away, which surprised me. Maybe my teammates care more than what I see. "We were so closely connected that when I cut myself I hurt you too. I'm sorry Robin."
"As long as you're safe. But Raven, you have to stop." He was looking into my eyes. "No matter what it takes."
"I will… I know…"
"If you don't you will have to get help."
Fear shot through me. Help? How can people I don't know help me?
"I know you can stop, you're very strong Raven. Come on, you need food, and to see people, not to be alone. We're here, you're our friend." I nodded and followed.
I looked around at my team members, and began to really appriciate them. Except for Terra of course, but she wasn't really a team member.
Cyborg was always so kind, ready to help anyone.
Beast Boy, though he wasn't smart, and I hated to admit it, but his jokes always cheer me up.
Starfire, though she was being cruel to me now, she was a great person. She was someone you could talk to, and she was a great comfort. I realized I missed that. Ever since I had been able to get rid of my emotions I hadn't needed that, or so I thought. This is why we have drifted apart Starfire…
Robin… I can never thank Robin enough. He has saved me, and now he is here for me. Love… he loves me. I saw him smiling, glad I was thinking about him. I smiled in return, my rare smile. I used my powers and fixed some herbal tea. I sat down with Everyone at the table.
"Hey Rae." Cyborg stopped stuffing his face just long enough to utter those two words.
"Raven! It's been what, minutes? What brings you out here?" Beast Boy asked.
"Oh, the usual, hunger."
"Are you sure you didn't miss us?" Beast Boy raised his eyebrows.
"No, and what are you looking at me like that for, you have Terra."
"Who says I just need Terra."
"Beast Boy!" Terra smacked him upside his head.
"What?"
Terra just rolled her eyes.
"Hello Raven." Starfires voice was empty, not sad, but not happy. She wasn't angry either, just there.
"Hello Star."
"So Raven, Really what did bring you out of your room?" Cyborg asked. He was filling his plate with more food.
Tell them. Robin's thought echoed in my mind.
Why?
They need to know.
Do they?
Yes.
Fine then, I'll tell them. "Well… I guess this is something everyone should know, I cut myself."
"WHAT?" Beast Boy yelled.
"Raven why?" Cyborg looked mortified, a look I didn't know he could achieve.
"What is this cutting you speak of?" Starfire tried to act naïve.
"I KNEW THE GOTH CUT HERSELF! UGH!" Terra yelled.
"I have a good reason if you will let me explain. Starfire, cutting is when someone self-mutilates themselves. They use a knife, and… cut themselves. But I did it because it got rid of my emotions! I could have human thoughts! I know it was wrong but I really needed too… it just felt so good not to have my emotions go out of my control every time I laughed, was scared, angry, or sad." They don't need to know about how I felt when I saw Robin.
How did you feel about me Raven?
You weren't supposed to hear that!
How can I not? It was just so tempting…"Do you still…"
"No. I'm stopping, today. I know it was wrong. I'm out here to get help from you. My teammates. Robin thinks it's a good idea that I talk to people."
"Well." Cyborg started. "You come to us, because you need help, you trust us that much Rae?"
"Yes. I know you trust me, and I know you are there for me, I just didn't look. We're a team."
"The Teen Titans!" Beast Boy chimed in.
"I didn't mean for it to sound so sappy."
"Well it did, and I just had to."
"Come on Starfire, I don't want to sit here and watch these losers realize that we're a team."
"What do you mean we?" I turned to Terra. "There is no we here. If so, you are NOT in it."
"Whoa Raven, a little harsh there." Cyborg said.
"She deserves it!"
Cyborg was trying to contain a smile as Terra and Starfire stormed out of the room, saying they were going to the mall.
"So that just leaves us, what should we do?" Beast Boy asked. "Du-ude there is only one girl here! AHHHHHHH HOW ARE WE GONNA LIVE? Raven will just have to share…"
"If anyone here is going to get anything it's Robin you stupid pervert!"
"Fine then! TEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA waaaaaaaaaaaaait!"
"She's gone man." Cyborg said. Robin was bent over laughing.
"So… So… pathetic!" Robin wheezed.
"VIDEO GAMES!" Beast Boy yelled. "What are you laughing at Robin?"
"You!"
"This is so cruel!"
"No you're just funny Beast Boy, of course, what isn't funny about a little green dude?" Cyborg laughed at his own joke. "Get it? Little Green Dude? He's little and… haha…"
"We get it Cyborg, it just isn't funny." I said.
"Right."
"Um… Cyborg, can I ask you something really quick?" I asked him. Robin looked at me. "You two stay here. Don't worry Robin, I'm not cheating on you." A small smile formed on my face as Robin relaxed. Cyborg and I stepped into the hall.
"It was you." I said to him.
"Me what?"
"That led Starfire away for so long, you knew Robin would wake up, and he would find me. You knew all along… Why did you do that for me?"
"Because he deserves better than Starfire." Cyborg said. "You are a wonderful person Raven, he is lucky to have someone like you to be there for him, and Robin is a great guy, you're lucky too."
"You went out of your way to do something for us?"
"Yes."
"Thank you Cyborg." I hugged him. "I owe you."
"You don't seem like yourself…"
"I haven't been lately. Human emotions are different, and I'm still getting used to going back to my own."
"Right." We walked back into the living room, Robin and Beast Boy practically dove for the couch, pretending they were there for the whole time.
"It wasn't that it was bad or anything, it would just be awkward to announce that." I said coolly.
"DUDE! I thought you said she didn't hear us!" Beast Boy turned to Robin.
"You are so gullible sometimes, honestly."
"Fine, hey lets play that new racing game! All four of us can play, come on Raven PLEAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEE?" Beast Boy said.
I looked down at the game. For them. I thought. "Sure." For you too…
Ok. I think that's long enough, I could drag that on a lot longer, but I won't. This was a fairly uneventful chapter, but of course I get writers block right as I leave you at a cliffhanger. Gaar… Sorry.
To the reviewer (forgive me I forget your name) who said I had a weak beginning: I hope you are still reading, and I have to say I agree. It is weak, but it helps me out later. This is my first fan fic, so thanks for not being to hard on me. I know the team is there, and they will be, I keep telling you people: later. This all helps me for later. I know exactly what I want to happen, just not about how to get there, so I will need help, gimme ideas man! I know cutting is bad, and I'm sorry, I just needed that for Raven, so she and Robin could hook up without to many difficulties. I'm giving my story away a little but: Raven will find other ways to overcome her emotions. I don't think it's fair that she has to deal with that so I like to lift the burden from her shoulders. So to any other reviewers or anyone who is listening: I hope you are enjoying the story, sorry for some of the sap, but I just couldn't resist, it was so much fun. So I leave you with questions: what about terra? Is she really good? Or is she against the Titans? (if you are a terra fan why I wouldn't know then you probably won't enjoy this story as it grows. I really hate terra so I will torture her, like I did earlier MUWAHAHAHAHA.- So anyways, please review, I have writers block and I need some influence, not that the reviews I get are bad, but I need some IDEAS PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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