Chapter Five – Re-introductions

Buffy had known what the meeting was about as soon as Tara had called it. In fact she's been fighting with jealousy all day that it was Tara that Spike had gone to and not her. If he had come to her, they might even be announcing their new relationship right now. Instead she was sat in the Magic Box with the others, waiting for Tara to arrive. She was sat to one side, not joining in the speculation as to why the meeting had been called; which had been intensified by Willow's knowing nothing and Tara's insistence that Dawn be present.

"Maybe she wants to give up being a Scooby." Dawn said, quietly.

"Maybe she just did some spell that backfired." Xander received a pointed glare from Willow.

"Maybe she really is a demon, after all." Anya received a pointed glare from everybody. "What? It's not so bad. You people are just prejudiced."

"Maybe we should just wait until Tara arrives and tells us why she called this meeting." Giles cut in, obviously tired of the conversation.

The Scooby grumbles at this were interrupted by the bell ringing. Tara entered followed by a very shy, scared-looking Spike.

Before they'd even sat down the questions had begun, all the Scoobies talking over each other, back to speculating loudly, without listening, causing the usually quiet Tara to almost shout.

"Spike is human. Again." The questions died on everyone's lips. Finally Giles spoke up.

"How?"

"We don't know. As far as we can tell, he just woke up like this yesterday morning. Although, he's actually more than human. I mean he still has his vamp powers."

"Is it permanent?"

"It seems to be, although there's no way of knowing for sure."

"We could run some tests on him, see how he's been affected, and try to establish whether or not it is indeed permanent."

"Is it really Spike?" Anya's sudden question was met with a flash of fire in the eyes of the usually timid woman.

"Of course it is."

"I just meant that he seems… you know. Different. Less attitude and less being a pain in the ass. In fact less talking all together."

"He's just taking some time to adjust to his new life."

Anya was right. Buffy had been watching Spike since he arrived. To say he looked worse for wear would be an understatement. Sure he had all the things she'd asked for, but they faded away against the puffy red eyes and the nervous way he hugged himself as he avoided eye contact with everybody.

She couldn't understand it; surely he should be happy to be human. It meant they could be together. It meant he could walk in the sun, and it meant that the Scoobies would accept him, in time, as a friend. So why the brooding?

As soon as she'd thought the word, it dawned on her. Soul. That must be why he's acting like this. This wasn't so good. Buffy was distracted from her musings as Dawn got up out of her chair, and walked to where Spike was sitting, away from the others as they discussed him.

"Spike?" She asked, softly.

"'Lo Bit." He gave her a small smile, and with that she threw herself onto his lap, drawing him into a tight hug. What shocked Buffy most were the tears that streaked both faces when they finally pulled away.

An awkward silence followed, nobody knowing what to say. Apparently encouraged by Tara and Dawn's support, Spike finally spoke, albeit in a sad scared voice that sounded more like a little boy than a Master vampire.

"I don't know what has happened to me. One day I wake up and I'm still me, but at the same time I'm not myself in so many ways that I feel like a stranger in my own body." He paused, obviously willing away the tears in his eyes.

"I know that you all have a list as long as your arm of reasons why you don't care and why this isn't your problem, but honestly I've no where else to turn, and I've never been so terrified in my entire existence. So if any of you can do anything for me, I'll be indebted to you a hundred times over. I probably already am…"

"So you're a good guy now?" Willow asked tentatively.

"Cos he wasn't before." Dawn said sarcastically. Spike's eyes widened suddenly at this, and he looked like he might argue for a moment, but finally just shrugged and said;

"I guess I've tried to be for a while, but had to much pride and bravado to let you see it."

"So no more Big Bad?" Willow asked, quirking an eyebrow, almost an outright challenge to his sincerity.

"No more Big Bad." He agreed. He could see that although he had won Willow to his cause, everyone was still looking dubious, except Buffy, who hadn't said a word since he'd arrived. It was unusual for her not to over-vocalise an opinion about something like this. Giles interrupted before he could muse anymore.

"So apart from the obvious, what else has changed that puts you so much on edge?"

"Do you want the list?" Buffy's eyes widened and her whole body tensed before she realised it was sarcasm. Damn, she'd forgotten to include that on her list. She tried to relax again, but couldn't.

"Put it this way," Spike was saying, "I have a new apartment, a car, even a job for crying out loud, and all one hundred percent legal… And I can't even swear." The last bit was mumbled quickly so the others only just made it out.

"What do you mean you can't swear?" Xander asked between suppressed laughter.

"I mean that no matter how wound up, aggravated or angry I get, I can't utter one stupid expletive if my life depends on it." The mirth on Xander's face was clearly riling Spike, but the more the others thought about it, the funnier it became, until only Spike and Buffy were not holding their sides in laughter. Spike was smirking, pretending to be annoyed when his inclusion in the joke has actually cheered him up immensely. Buffy was still silent, but was wearing a fake smile on her face, pretending to join in.

"So why don't we go celebrate?" Anya asked, excitedly.

"Celebrate what exactly?" Spike asked, sceptically.

"That I'm no longer the only ex-demon in the gang… Well not the only one over a hundred years old anyway." She amended off Giles's nervous glasses cleaning. Spike couldn't help but smile at this.

"I suppose you could all come round to my new apartment, watch a DVD or something."

"Better keep it G-rated for Captain Peroxide." Xander smirked.

"Bronze it is then." Spike deadpanned.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Spike frowned as Buffy finally spoke up.

"What's that then?"

"Well we would usually patrol tonight, I mean seeing as you still have your vamp strength I figured you'd still wanna come with. No reason to stop."

"Err… ok, fine. You guys go ahead to the Bronze and Buffy and I will meet you after patrol."

"Cool, pick me up at 7." Spike nodded as everyone got ready to leave; the Scooby meeting officially over. This was really strange. Firstly the patrolling Buffy had mentioned had actually been him stalking her, and as far as he was aware she hated it and the others were most definitely not supposed to know about it. And since when did he pick her up at her house? This was strange, very strange. Strangest of all was that he wasn't really looking forward to it. He would much rather be going straight to the Bronze with the others. Since when was he not eternally grateful for every second that Buffy deigned to spend with his sorry self? Curiouser and curiouser.