Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil! or the Austin Powers quote or Rambo

Luna: I bet you all can't wait for this chapter! And remeber its a LONG game so it may take awhile to update.

Chapter 2: The Village People :: and no not that old band from the 70's::

Leon decided his best plan of action was to run in, guns ablazing and survive. Hopefully. In the end, Leon decided against his Rambo theory and ran into town and took cover in a house. He heard them screaming and running after him. Leon pushed a cabinet in front of the door to prevent the infected psychos from breaking it down.

" Who are these people?" asked Leon, to the air, " What do they want?"

Hmm.....hate to state the obvious but maybe TO KILL YOU SINCE THEY'RE ATTACKING YOU! Geez....logic!

He also heard someone starting up a chainsaw, bringing back painful memories of watching 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and soiling himself. Leon raced upstairs and meet his new best friend : the shotgun. He kept it in his attache case for safe keeping. Just then, several virus infected psychos came through the window. Luckily, Leon had his handgun and amazing kicking powers. Unfortuntely, Leon was overcome by numbers and screamed, " SHIT-"

"-Taki mushrooms!" I said back, " Watch the profanity!"

" Who was that?" cried Leon, " I'm hearing voices now......I must be INFECTED!"
Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, Leon kicks down the ladder and jumps out the window. He lands on his ass, screaming, " Owwies...."

He runs around the village, a mob of angry villagers after him. Leon ran until he saw a man with a bag over his head charge at him. With a chainsaw. Leon screams like a little girl and takes out his shotgun. He shoots it. Once. Twice. Three times. Four. Ah, you get it! Well, he shot a total of 12 SHOTS! 12!!!!

For surviving this ordeal, Leon is rewarded with a ruby.

" That's all I get?!" askes Leon, " A RUBY? Damn, That's cheap.....But its sparkly....."

Distracted by the ruby's sparkly-ness, Leon is surrounded again. Thankfully, Leon had his kicking powers and even decided to name it his " KENNEDY KICK OF DOOM".

Several hours, Kennedy Kicks of Doom and magazine clips later.......

Leon had killed exactly 14 infected people. Then a bell rang and everyone disappeared.

" Woo...." he said, and sighed, " Look! Herbs! Wait.....These things seem vaguely familar....Okay, to save Ashely..."

Remember, short attention span.

Leon decided to check the farm, and found some chicken eggs.

" Aha!" he cried, " My new weapon!"

Leon then went through a door to a save point which caused him to say, " A typewriter!.....Wait why is it so familar?......infected..."

He walked along the dirt path and shot some villagers then finished them off with his Kennedy Kicks of Doom . After being rushed by a mob, almost squished by a boulder, and shooting shiny blue things; Leon ended up in a cemetary.

There, he used all his brainpower to figure out a puzzle.

2 hours later........

" Stupid puzzle with glowing clock dial!" screamed Leon.

Finally, he got it open to get his prize. A gem.

" WHAT?!" he shouted, " I went to all this trouble to get THIS?!"

He ran back to the chruch only to discover he couldn't open it. Leon, being Leon, didn't think of blowing up the door w/ a grenade....nooo.....So he called Hunnigan.

" Hunnigan the door won't open!" cried Leon.

" Leon, we've been through this before. Follow my instructions step by step. Extend your hand-"

Leon did.

"- Grab the doorknob and twist!"

" No! THERE'S NO DOORKNOB!"

" Oh....well your on your own. Your susposed to be the amazing one man army the prez sent out so good luck to you."

Leon decided to give it a Kennedy Kick of Doom. He did, and screamed curses and clutched his foot in pain. Bad, bad plan.

Luna: YAY! I DID CHAPTER 2! PLEASE REVIEW! And I appericate the reviews i had already gotten! Next chapter: Flasher!