I haven't updated this story in forever.. but here it is and slowly we move towards the eending. Just a few more chapter left.
-Shadow

The next day Eriol sweeps me up... unexpectedly. Life seems like one big whirlwind, and I haven't had time to breath yet.

"What are you doing here?" I ask when I see him waiting in Sakura's living room for me. "I've come to take you out of course"

"Some warning would be nice"

"But not fun" Of course that makes me go a bit red "give me a minute"

We walk without any certain direction for awhile before I finally ask

"Where are we going?"

"That's up for you to decide"

"What do you mean?"

"I believe you understand me. Tell me if there's anywhere you want to go and I'll take you there and be there for you every step of the way" Eriol has quickly placed the wings on the first of my own personal trials, the first of my demons I have to face. "Um- Yes there is somewhere you can take me"

As we get closer to our destination my hand finds it way into Eriol's. We don't speak as we walk silently... closer, closer. I don't know what I expected or wanted to see, seeing a family would have made me sad but seeing my old house empty also made me sad. As we stand in front of my house Eriol tightens his grip on my hand. I take a deep breath and turn to him smiling sadly. "Thank you for bringing me"

"Don't mention it."

"You really are nice." He smiles and I open the gate and walk slowly down the path.

I can almost see my mother walking with me chatting pleasantly about her day and asking me about mine. Tears stream down my face as I remember the first time I had to walk down the path completely alone knowing that my mother wouldn't be home later or at the door to great me with her beautiful smile. No my mother was gone; she always told me I could come back home no matter what and she would welcome me with open arms and so much love, but now no matter how many times I leave or how many times I come back that won't ever happen.

My old key still works, my hand shakes so bad but Eriol places his on top of it and helps me turn it. I push the door open and step in Eriol close behind me. All the furniture is still there... nothing's change: nothing but me and the fact that the house is dusty. Airan, our maid, would have had a fit. The furniture is covered, and my mothers not there. Something catches my eye; I walk in the living room and have to sit down because I'm sobbing so hard. Eriol cradles me on the floor and whispering words that try to calm me.

Over the fireplace, one thing in my phantom house hadn't been covered, something I never got to see, a picture of my mother and I, both smiling, oblivious of what would happen only months after.

"You did it" Eriol congratulates wiping off some of my tears "I'm proud of you"

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder taking a shaky breath. "Something inside of me was hoping she would be there," I whisper. "I want everything to be like it used to be Eriol..."

"Life wouldn't be as excruciatingly beautiful if we could go back... we can only go forward and live. But hey hiding in king penguin sure does take us back" I laugh a little

"I always liked it here it always made me feel better" Eriol smiles and I realize how much he's helped me.

"Eriol?"

"Hm?"

"I think I-"

"Tomoyo?" Yamato's voice cuts me off as he finds us. I stand up surprised. I have no idea what I was about to tell Eriol.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asks me.

"Oh nothing" I push my laptop's screen down and smile at my friend. "Eriol told me you two went to your old house" I nod

"Are you okay?"

"Yes... it was something I had to do... but I'm alright now"

"Eriol is always looking out for you," I laugh, "Just like he's always watching over you and Syaoran"

Its Sakura's turn to smile "no this time it's different, much more different"

That night I decide to do a stupid thing, go back to my house alone. I feel the odd urge to go solo to prove to myself that I don't need to depend of anyone much less on Eriol. I quietly slip down the stairs and out into the starry night. The night air is cool but I like it. This time the night shadows are my companions as I near my house.

I open the curtains, hoping to illuminate the rooms. My room seems the emptiest... and the saddest. The walls are bare and everything's covered. With a sigh I fall back on my bed, ghosts of memories running around and pushing their ways into my head, trying to make me remember. But the ghosts flee when one chief memory appears.

Eriol looks around my bare room, "So you're leaving"

I don't reply and stare at the walls. "Tomoyo"

"What?" I snap. He looks taken back and we stare at each other. The black dress I wear scratches my skin, I hate this dress. But it's a beautiful dress, and a reminder that beauty is pain. I want to cloak the world in black and fill the void in my heart. But most of all I don't want Eriol's pity. Oh Yes I am leaving

"You're running away" he states blandly

The words anger me beyond reason, and I know Eriol studies my face hoping to get a reaction from me, a scream or a tear, but if I wouldn't even cry in front of Sakura what guarantees him that he'll be the lucky one to break the mask?

"Hiiragizawa leave... now"

He stares at me for a second longer his azul eyes stormy and worried; then he turns and leaves. He doesn't look back. I don't call his name... I may as well go ahead and loose everything I care for.

I open my eyes, the next day I would leave... Sakura would tell me Eriol left a month later. I never told Eriol goodbye I ordered him away because deep down I knew he was the only one who would make me face the truth. The truth was something I did not want to hear... it's still something I don't want to hear. I yawn and lay my head down: sleeping lets me forget; sleeping lets me dream.