Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil...

Luna: I can't believe it I got 38 REVIEWS! That's the most reviews I have EVER GOTTEN:hops around like an idiot: Thank you people who read & Reviewed! Oh and in chapter 6, when it said Leon's 500 jacket it was susposed to be 500 dollar jacket and I put the dollar sign but for some reason that never showed up in the chapter...Anyway HERE'S CHAPTER 7!

Chapter 7: 2 chainsaw wielding psychos, a cute but dumb agent and a brat.

Leon blocked the door with a cabinet as Luis shot people through the window with his Red9.

" Time for my good friend the shotgun!" declared Leon, " Did I mention I upgraded it to have 10 rounds? EAT LEAD!"

Some villagers came strolling in and Leon and Luis mowed them down.

" If I die, I would've gave you my jacket, but someone STOLE MY JACKET!" screamed Leon, shooting down villagers in the name of his jacket.

Meanwhile...

Don Perdo, Dr. Salvotare and random guy who sold Leon's jacket were rejoicing.

" Ahahahahahah!" said the Dr., " Apparently, 1000 pestas are equal to 5 cents in American money. I have so much money I even had enough to buy my 2 sisters chainsaws of their very own!"

" Am I the only one who thinks that Drag Queen was loco?" asked Don Perdo.

" That was a man?" asked Random.

" Yeah stupido," said the docoter.

"...NOW WE CAN FINALLY GET THE STUPID AMERICAN since we stole his jacket!" screamed Don Perdo.

"...? This is stupid," said Random, " I think I'm gonna get out of here, maybe go on a cruise...get away from all the violence."

" He's turning normal," said Dr.S, " We must dispose of him before the normal infection spreads throughout his body. And then he'll try to make us go to the darkside..."

Back to Leon and Luis...

" When does it end?" asked Leon, reloading his shotgun for the millionth time.

Several clips of ammo, swear words, KKD's and 40 dead villagers later...

The villagers finally decided to run off.

" Thank God! And my shotgun!" said Leon, "Ashely, you can come out now!"

" I...uh forgot something...I gotta go..." said Luis.

" Why?" asked Leon, " If we all band together and combine our skills, we might me able to survive. After all, 2 heads are better than 1."
" That's a good one, Leon," said Luis, brushing off Leon's sudden and rare stroke of brillance as a joke.

And Luis ran off. Because he was dumb.

" My hero!" gushes Ashely.

" Yeah, let's go," said Leon, ignoring her.

Leon & Ashely went to the next area where Leon upgraded his weapons, thanks to the merchant. He then rose a lever to open a gate and they went through.

" Ashely get in the trash can!" said Leon.

She obeyed, although she didn't wanna stain her pretty boots...she rather be killed by chainsaw manics than have her perfect boots ruined...

The endless supply of villagers came at him, and Leon spotted the gasoline barrel. He shot it, and the villagers went KABOOM! Leon whistled for Ashely, and they went up the ladder. Seeing nowhere else to go, Leon jumps down into the arena OF DOOM!

There he was greeted by not one, BUT 2 chainsaw manics.

" Today just isn't my day," said Leon, " Or week. Or 6 years."

Leon killed both manics with the shotgun, of course. 14 rounds each. For his efforts he got a ruby and a key.

"ASHELY!" cried Leon, and the girl jumped into his arms.

" I have a question," said Leon, " How did they kidnap you?"

" With force!" said Ashely, " Lots and lots of force!"

Flashback

" Ashely Graham?" asked Saddler. He was in her college campus, and suspected this dumb girl to be the president's daughter.

" Who wants to know?" asked Ashely, carrying a 12 pack of Coors.

" Forgive me, I am Osma Saddler," said he, " And you need to come with for...underage drinking!"

" I'm 21."

" Prada Boots!"
" What? Where? This isn't some scam to kidnap me for ransom in a big conspiracy where my only hope lies in that of a cute but dumb agant, right?"

" No...why would you ever think that?" asked Saddler, innocently.

End Flashback

" Ah...I see. It WAS Umbrella..." said Leon.

" Umbrella? No I was kidnapped by a person...not an umbrella..." said Ashely.

" That's what the all say!"

Ashely blinked, confused. I must say I'm also as confused.

They entered the next area where they were rushed by a mob. I lost track of all the mobs that rab after them.Leon threw some grenades and shot the barrell and they went BOOM!

" Leon, since we're going to be here a while, don't you think we should get to know each other better?" asked Ashely.

" What are you trying to say?" asked Leon, dumbly.

" What's your favorite color? Movie, shoe brand, food, song?" She asked rapidly.

" Uh...blue...'Dawn of the Dead', Timberland, steak, what doe this have to do with anything?"

" No reason..." But everyone who's reading this knows why...I think...

" Look! A thing!" cried Leon.

The 'thing' was a trolley of sorts.

" Let's go on the ride!" cried Leon, a little too exicted.

He and Ashely boarded it, and Leon sniped anything that moved. Or didn't move.

" Do you know what I realized?" asked Leon, as they got off.

" What?"

" That I haven't done my dance since...awhile. I MUST DO MY DANCE!"

And he did. And Ashely was scarred for life.

Luna: End Chapter! Next chapter: Leon v.s Cheese!