Author: TICS
Rating: PG13
Summery: Glorfindel pays someone an unexpected visit.
Genre: Humor. AU…please do not expect anything even remotely resembling canon here. Feedback greatly appreciated…desired…wanted…needed…:DA Gentleman Caller
The Interviews - Elladan and Elrohir
Dinner was a much more subdued affair, since she ate it alone in the relative peace of her room. After having her nerves shot by interviewing Legolas, then her sides split by interviewing Erestor, and her patience tested by interviewing Haldir, she needed some quiet 'alone' time.
It was, however, short-lived.
No sooner had she put down her fork, that there came a sharp rapping on her door. Without waiting for an answer, the door opened and Elladan and Elrohir strode in, proceeding to make themselves comfortable on her bed, with barely a nod in her direction.
Looking over at the two handsome faces staring at her from her bed, smiling mischievously and crooking their fingers at her, she sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I can hear you just fine from here," she said, shaking her head at them.
"What? What did you say?" Elladan shouted, holding his hand to his delicately pointed ear.
"We can't hear you…you're too far away," Elrohir yelled, also putting a hand to his ear.
"You're Elves…your hearing is better than mine, and I can hear you just fine!"
"Must be the air in here…it's too thick, or something, right 'Ro?" Elladan asked, turning to his twin.
"Yes! That's it…the air is too thick…we can't hear you at all. You'll just have to come sit by us…" Elrohir agreed, patting the bed between them.
"Tough tooties. Learn to read lips…I'm not going anywhere near you two on a bed!" she called back, biting back the grin that threatened to spread across her face.
"Coward!" Elladan said, frowning at her.
"Chicken!" Elrohir put in, his frown equaling his brothers.
"Bwwaacckk," she clucked back at them. The two brothers laughed, and sat up on the bed.
"I suppose that you two are my next interview, huh?" she asked, taking out her tape recorder and turning it on. "Well, let's get started."
Author: I was told that you two were the first to discover the Internet, fanfictions, and the yahoo groups…
Elladan: Yes…that was us. When we found all those pages with stories about us, we got very excited.
Author: Yes, I'll just bet you did!
Elrohir: Cheeky! He meant that we found it very interesting…reading those stories people wrote about us.
Elladan: Right…we didn't get really excited until we found the adult web sites…
Elrohir: Exactly! Did you know that some people draw pictures of us? Pictures of us…erm…au naturale?
Elladan: I can't for the life of me figure out how they know what we look like, though…
Elrohir: Well, they usually get you right, but they never make me big enough…
the tape runs on for a while as the twins snigger together.
Author: If you could collect yourselves for a moment, we can continue…what did you think of the love stories?
Elrohir: Oh, we really liked them…all those cute ellith and human girls…falling all over themselves to be with us…it was quite a boost to our egos.
Author: And the other stories…you know the ones I mean…
Elladan: No…what other stories?
Elrohir: Yes, tell us…what other stories?Author: Don't make me say it…you know…the OTHER stories…
Elladan: Sorry…can't place what you're talking about…
Elrohir: Nor can I. I'm afraid you'll just have to spit it out.
Author: Fine. The slash stories…you and Aragorn. You and Legolas. You and Haldir. You and every male Elf in Arda. You and…you…
Elladan: Ohh…those stories! We liked them, too.
Elrohir: Especially them.
Author: Really? Especially? Really? Wow…I never really thought you two were…
Elladan: Snort! Glorfindel was right - you are too easy!
the tape rolls on for a while as the twins guffaw loudly
Author: Laugh all you want…I happen to know all about what happened at Legolas' Day of Majority Eve Party…told me all about it…all the sordid little details…
the tapes rolls, but there is dead silence in the room.
Elladan: He didn't!
Elrohir: I'll kill him. Kinslaying or not, I'm going to kill him!
Elladan: I can't believe he was so open with you about that…he hasn't even talked to us about it in years…
Elrohir: Damn that Wood-Elf!
Author: Now who's too easy?
the tape rolls on while the Author laughs madly at the confused looking twins
Elladan: You're evil, do you know that?
Elrohir: Yes…if you were an Elleth, I'd say you were related to us!
"the tape continues to roll as the sounds of scuffling and shrieking is heard
Author: Let me up, you big goofs!
Elladan: Not a chance…
Elrohir: Kiss me you fool!
Elladan: Get away from me, 'Ro!
Elrohir: I love you 'Dan!"
Elladan: I'm not kidding, 'Ro!
Author: Please…I can't breathe…stop making me laugh!
the tape continues to roll, the Author gasping for air, while Elrohir chases Elladan around the room making kissy noises.
Author: That's it! I cannot take one more moment of this! OUT! OUT! OUT! Get out, both of you! Right now, or I'm calling your father!
Slamming the door behind them, the Author leaned her weary head against the door. "They're going to kill me…I just know it…I'm never going to survive this visit…"