Author: TICS
Rating: PG13
Summery: Glorfindel pays someone an unexpected visit.
Genre: Humor. AU…please do not expect anything even remotely resembling canon here. Feedback greatly appreciated…desired…wanted…needed…:DA Gentleman Caller
The Interviews - Glorfindel
She looked down at the cup of tea before her at the breakfast table in the Feasting Hall, and wondered for the umpteenth time since she arrived why, if they could have cable, television, and computers in Valinor, they couldn't manage a simple cup of coffee.
Shaking her head resignedly, she sipped the hot tea, wondering who it was that she was going to interview that morning. Just as she sipped the blistering liquid, a bellowing voice echoed through the room, causing her to scald her tongue.
"YOU!"
Rolling her eyes, she wondered why she got all the angry Elves in the early morning.
"What did you do to my Erestor?" Glorfindel thundered, coming around to face her, leaning down and planting both hands down firmly on the table. His golden hair was tousled, his robes rumpled, and his boots were unlaced. He looked as though he had either just rolled out of bed, or had been dragged several yards by wild horses.
He still looked like a god - a angry, vengeful, slightly wrinkled god, but a god nonetheless.
"Good morning, Glorfindel. I'm fine…and you?"
"Don't 'Good morning' me! What did you say to him?"
"Just a moment…" she said, turning on the tape recorder.
Author: Now, you were saying…?"
Glorfindel: I asked you what you did to my Erestor!
Author: The same thing I'm doing to you…nothing. Just talking.
Glorfindel: You did something! He's not the same…he's…changed!
Author: Changed? Into what…a frog? A platter of roast beef? What?
Glorfindel: Don't be impertinent. He's different…he's not the same Erestor!
Author: What happened, Glorfindel?
Glorfindel: Sigh. I got back to our suite late last night…I'd been in a meeting with Elrond and Celeborn…
Author: A meeting…riigghhtt…
Glorfindel: It was a meeting!
Author: Whatever you say, my Lord.
Glorfindel: All right…we were drinking and playing poker…are you happy now?
Author: Please, go on…
Glorfindel: When I got back to our suite, it was late…and Erestor…he was…well…
Author: Come on…out with it…
Glorfindel: He was waiting up for me…and he wanted to…oh gods…he wanted to…
Author: What? What did he want to do Glorfindel? Redecorate? Take over the world? What?
Glorfindel: He wanted to talk!
the tape runs on for a bit, and you can almost hear the Author rolling her eyes at the Balrog Slayer.
Author: Talk? From the way you were acting I'd thought he might have grown feathers and learned to quack…for heaven's sake, Glorfindel, what's wrong with talking?
Glorfindel: I don't…talk.
Author: I have news for you, Oh Lord of the House of the Golden Flower…this is talking.
Glorfindel: I don't talk with Erestor…at night…I act.
Author: Ah…and here we come to crux of the problem. So you rush into your suite like gangbusters…
Glorfindel: That's what Erestor said!
Author: And you find yourself with a very annoyed mate who refuses your attentions until you've listened to what he had to say…
Glorfindel: Were you hiding in the closet?
Author: Did you listen?
Glorfindel: I really didn't have any choice in the matter. I thought for a moment he was going to send me to the Halls of Mandos…again…for a moment, I was sorely tempted to run out an find another Balrog.
Author: What did he say?
Glorfindel: Evidently, I don't attend to his needs. Personally, I think I attend to him quite well.
Author: Glorfindel…I don't think Erestor was talking about sex.
Glorfindel: I was being sarcastic.
Author: He loves you, you know…
Glorfindel: I know, I know…he loves me, I'm very lucky to have someone like him, I don't know how good I've got it, I don't appreciate what I've got, and I better learn quickly how to appreciate it, or it's going to find someone who can.
Author: Ooh…read you the riot act and gave you an ultimatum, did he?
Glorfindel: This is all your fault! I don't know how, but it is…I'm sure of it.
The interview ends as Glorfindel begins to walk away from the table.
"Glorfindel? Where are you going?"
"I am under orders to find a florist, a candy shop, and a jewelry shop, and be back in time for lunch in my suite…with flowers, candy, and a piece of jewelry expensive enough to put me in debt for a long time to come."
She smiled, watching the fierce Balrog Slayer literally jog out of the room, hastening to do his bonded's bidding. Erestor must have really let him have it last night…before letting him have it last night…all night, from the looks of him.
She slipped the tape recorder into her pocket, humming happily, thinking to explore the library before her next interview.