Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or Terminator, same appiles for chapter 5 or whichever chapter I used w/ a Terminator quote.

Luna: 40 reviews! Wow...40...uh, anyway heres Chapter 8!

Chapter 8: Leon v.s Cheese

Leon left Ashely outside the shed, expecting the worst. He was right. The Cheese, Bitores Mendez ambushed him. Leon was being strangled by him again and thrown on his ass. Again. Luckily, there was a conviently placed gasoline container next to the Cheese. Leon shot it saying, " Asa La Vista Baby!"

The Cheese blew up, and Leon did his dance at the wrongest time. Because the Cheese had gotten up with an EXTRA LONG SPINAL chord attached to his torso." Why can't it every be easy?" asked Leon.

Leon dodged the Cheese and busted several caps in Mendez's spinal chord. Leon climbed up the ladder and collected some herbs and ammo. He jumped back down and the Cheese attacked him.

" Ow!" screamed Leon, " You gave me a boo-boo!"

Then he got knocked down again. Leon ran a hand through his hair and yelled, " First you give me a boo-boo and now you mess up my hair! NOONE MEESES UP THE KENNEDY HAIR CUT! NOONE!"

Leon opened a can of whupass on him, and shot The Cheese. Alot. Until he spilt into the upper torso that was climbing up the rafters. The Cheese dropped down on Leon and he did a KKD and shot him. Dead.

" About time," said Leon, grabbing the pestas and the fake eye.

Leon ran back to the entrance to leave, but then saw that The Cheese had curved an iron bar around the handles so he couldn't leave.

" I finally grated the Cheese," said Leon, chuckling at his own lame joke, " And now I can't find a way out..."

2 hours, multiple swearing and self pity later...

" There it was!" exclaimed Leon, " It was that hole in the wall the whole time!"

Happy, Leon exited the torture shed, rejoined with Ashely.

" Are you okay Leon?" asked Ashely.

" Peachy," said Leon, " Just peachy."

They went back across the bridge with the big metal doors.

" It's locked!" annouced Leon.

" Should I climb on your shoulders again?" asked Ashely.

" It's too high..."

Am I the only one disturbed by Ashely wanting to do 'piggyback' with Leon?

" Did you see the fake eye the Cheese had?" asked Leon, holding it up.

Light struck the eye and the door opened.

" Magic!" cried Leon.

They went through the doors and were greeted by yes, another very pissed off mob. Leon began shooting at them until a truck sped towards him, mowing down anything in its way.

" Wow, that's alot worst than my first time behind the wheel," mused Leon.

" SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!" screamed Ashely.

" Alright,...Geez you don't have to shout..." said Leon.

He shot the truck until it turned over and died.

Ashely & Leon raced across yet ANOTHER bridge from yet ANOTHER furious mob.

" Hurry!" said Leon, " To the dark, haunted looking castle! We'll be safe there!"

Ashely nodds, and they operate the cranks together to pull up the drawbridge. Then, they go through the doors to where the merchant is.

" Hey merchant!" said Leon, casually.

" Got some fine goods on sale, stranger."

" Really? How, might I ask, did you get all this weapons?"

"...I always had them."

" Not when I first met you!"

" I never seen you before, stranger,"

" So...there is more than one of you..."

" Quite obviously."

" Oh...HOW DID YOU GET ALL THESE FIREARMS?"

" Us merchants are travellers bent on making cash. Word on the street was a stranger was coming, and we wanted to help."

" If you really wanted to help, you'd use those weapons you have to fight the infected or just give them to me."
" Sorry. Us merchants worship the almighty dollar. We were failed experiments of the 'Door-to-Door Salesman' virus."
" Door to Door Salesman?"

" Yes, stranger. The combo of a Plaga and a salesman. Meant to gain money for the cult...but..."

Flashback!

The merchant is dressed in his usual garb, carrying a briefcase. His location is the suburbs. He rings a door bell and makes his pitch," Would you like a handgun, stranger? Or a shotgun? Perhaps a sniper rifle? Or a mighty fine Rocket Launcher for that special someone?"

He got the door slammed in his face. Alot. One person was even interested in what he was selling; but when the merchant opened his trechcoat to show him...The man screamed, "FLASHER!" and the cops went after him.

So the merchants decided to go to the bad part of town. Ganglands. Selling dictornaries. Poor, dumb merchants. Do I even have to say what happened to them?

But then one merchant said, " I got it! A stranger will come to our village and he will be so desparate he has to buy stuff from us!"

End Flashback

"...it didn't work out..."

" Ah-ha! But you still didn't tell me HOW you got all the weapons!"

"...Magic?"

"Really?"

Luna: I had just noticed that in the last chapter I wrote I had some spelling errors. When Leon said, " That's what the all say" its susposed to be 'they'. I have the most worst inaccurate program when I type that doesn't have spell check...STUPID COMPUTER! Anyway sorry for confusion, Reviews! Next Chapter: Enter The midget