A/N Well this is the chapter that you've all been waiting for. I just hope you enjoy it. I think updates are going to slow up a bit. I have finished one essay but still have two more to do. Xx til

Chapter Nineteen – Love and Marriage

"Do you, Xander Harris, take this woman, Anya Jenkins, to be your lawful wedded wife?"

Spike held his breath and closed his eyes. He could have sworn that Xander was trying to give him a heart attack with the suspense. He paused for what seemed like the longest of moments but in reality was only a couple of seconds as he looked into Anya's eyes before he finally said 'I do' and broke into a goofy grin. Spike let go of the breath he'd been holding. Everything was how it should be. Well almost.

After that the ceremony ran smoothly on, as if nothing had ever stood in its way, and before he knew it Spike was watching from the bar as Mr and Mrs Xander Harris took to the floor in their first dance as man and wife. He looked on as they danced, oblivious to the rest of the world, and was happy for his friends. Part of him couldn't help imagining one day dancing the first dance with a bride of his own.

"How did you do it?" Spike was shaken out of his thoughts by Giles' question.

"How did I do what?" He answered evenly.

"How did you convince Xander to stay? The same way you convinced me?" Giles' tone was light, although his questions were serious.

"No. For some reason English tea and demon artefacts hold no sway over Mr Harris." Spike quipped. Giles smiled at this but continued.

"What did you say to him then?"

"I told him the truth… I reminded him that he loves Anya, and that she loves him. That this is just one of a long list of choices that they are going to have to make to keep on loving each other. This one may feel a bit more final, but really it's no different than the decision he makes after every tough spot or argument they have. If anything, it's easier."

"Since when do you have the right thing to say at every occasion?" Giles smiled sincerely.

"All part of being Best Man Number 2… Which is actually an extremely unfair title as Best Man Number 1 isn't even a man at all." Both men chuckled before lapsing into a comfortable silence. It was Giles who finally broke it.

"You know I don't think I ever properly thanked you for convincing me to stay. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I'd have left."

"Don't mention it, Rupert. Like I told you at the time, it's not your strength that Buffy needs; it's your commitment to her, your approval and most of all your love. Whether you like it or not, you're pretty much the only parent she has now. It doesn't have to be a big scary thing. She just needs to know she can count on you to keep being there, doing what you've always done."

"Does that little nugget of wisdom come under Best Man duties as well?"

"I just call it how I see it, and I meant it when I said don't mention it. Seriously, not a word to the girls about any of it, especially…"

"Buffy!" Giles looked like a deer caught in headlights as he interrupted Spike.

"Not a word to the girls about what?" Buffy asked them both, hands on hips. Giles muttered something under his breath about being needed urgently elsewhere before practically running in the other direction, leaving Spike to face the music.

"Spike, not a word to the girls about what?"

"Just… that you all look so beautiful… we… err… we didn't want you all to get big heads." Spike finally finished fumbling through the lie. Buffy raised her eyebrows in disbelief, but didn't even bother to voice it. Under the scrutiny of her gaze, Spike quickly folded.

"Ok, ok, it's nothing really. I just didn't want anybody to know that it was me that talked Harris round."

"Oh. Well we all kind of figured that anyway."

"You did?"

"Yup, we did. Doesn't exactly take a genius. But why didn't you want us to know? Surely that's a good thing?"

"Well yeh, I just thought it should be a need to know type thing."

"I guess it should… but wait, why was Giles looking so shifty?" Spike's eyes widened and he quickly tried to cover.

"He wasn't looking shifty. Have you been at the bubbly?" Buffy's eyes instantly narrowed. He was hiding something from her.

"Spike, he practically cleaned the lens right out of his glasses! Now tell me." She said firmly.

"Not a chance." He grinned and walked towards the toilets with Buffy in hot pursuit. As she pestered him incessantly across the dance floor, past the buffet and into the corridor Spike's pace quickened. He was determined to make it into the bathroom before his resolve cracked and he ended up revealing the Watcher's secret. He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice it was the ladies he was walking towards. Buffy held back, chucking to herself, and waiting for his surprised yelp and speedy exit. When it didn't come after a few seconds, she pushed the door open and followed him in. She instantly saw Sarah and one of the other wedding guests frantically trying to get back into their clothes as Spike looked on, frozen to the spot. Anger rose up in Buffy, and she took a few strides into the room.

"I can't believe this. How could you do that to him? After everything he's been through?" She asked furiously.

"Stay out of this, you little ho." Sarah spat out. "This is between me and Spike." Buffy turned to look at him at this. Tears were streaking down his gorgeous face which seemed to be carved from stone he was standing so still. Finally he spoke.

"Please don't leave me." He whispered, his shoulders beginning to shake with emotion.

"I doubt you'll even notice me gone with her around." Sarah replied, doing up her dress.

"This is because of Buffy?" Spike asked, confused. Buffy winced at his question.

"No. This is because I don't love you. I don't want to be with you anymore.

You're pathetic, always sniffing around that little tramp. Well I've had enough. I've found me a real man."

"Baby, she's just a friend, please don't do this. Please don't leave me. I don't care about him, we can make this work." Spike gestured to the other guy in the room, who was all but hiding behind Sarah. Buffy stood in shocked silence. Then it hit her, of course he didn't care about the other guy, he couldn't get jealous thanks to her wish. Great. No matter what she tried to do, she always seemed to cause him pain. No wonder he didn't want to be more than just friends.

"It's over, Spike. Deal with it. Oh and by the way, that little spell that she put on you. I was the one who did it. She knew all this time, but didn't bother herself telling you. That's how much she cares about you. Not that it really matters as it's irreversible, but I thought you'd want to know. See you around." With that Sarah swept out of the room, the other guy leaving with her. Spike fell to his knees, huge sobs gripping him and shaking his body uncontrollably. Buffy rushed to his side, resisting the urge to follow Sarah and give her an ass-kicking she'd never forget in favour of looking after Spike. She threw her arms around him, bringing his head to her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Spike. I'm so sorry." She whispered to him.

Buffy continued to hold him tenderly. The tears kept coming and she wondered briefly if they'd ever stop flowing, but suddenly they did and Buffy found her self fixed by Spike's intense gaze. The mood changed as if someone had flicked a switch. What had been comforting and friendly became overtly sexual, white hot electricity crackling between them although nothing about their position had changed at all. Buffy held his blue gaze as Spike's mouth descended on hers. This was no sweet brush of the lips like before; this was a bruising, passionate joining. Buffy whimpered at the force. Spike slid his tongue into her mouth, coaxing hers to come and play. Buffy eagerly responded, giving into the hot sensation that was being created between them. Spike's hands started to roam her body. It wasn't until they started tugging at the hem of her dress with single-minded intent that sense came back to her.

"Wait, Spike. I'm sorry, I can't do this." Spike pulled away fast, looking possibly more hurt than he had before, and nearly caused Buffy to change her mind.

"You don't want me?" Spike asked, vulnerability shining through his eyes as well as his question.

"Spike, I want you. It's you that doesn't want me, not really. I love you, but you said yourself that you don't feel the same so I won't take advantage of you when you're this vulnerable. It wouldn't be right." Spike only nodded in response. There really was nothing more to be said. He hugged Buffy in close, and they sat together on the bathroom floor until Buffy decided he was in a suitable state to make it home.

As she walked out of his apartment having left him to sort his thoughts out alone at his request, she caught the soft 'thank you' that floated out with her as she shut the door and smiled. She couldn't help herself. Spike was back on the market.