A/N This chapter is a little on the short side, but the next one will be longer. Chapter 24 will be the last chapter. Hope you enjoy it. xxtil

Chapter Twenty Two – All or Nothing

Dawn reread the note for what felt like the millionth time. While Spike had taken her sister's words at face value and relaxed, to her something seemed off somehow. Why couldn't Buffy have said even a rushed good bye before leaving the house so abruptly? Or announced her presence at all? It didn't make sense. And why hadn't she left a contact number? Even when she didn't want to be disturbed she always took her calling seriously enough to be contactable in the event of an apocalypse. Maybe she was just over reacting. Spike didn't seem worried. But Dawn couldn't shake the feeling.

"Spike, can you read Buffy's note out loud to me? I really feel like I'm missing something." She asked.

"Dawn, you need to calm down. It's understandable that you feel a bit strange that Buffy's gone for a few days, but I think you're just being paranoid, reading too much into it. She obviously was in a rush and will call you tomorrow to explain what's going on. Nothing to worry about." Spike gently tried to reassure her.

"Please, Spike, humour me." Dawn insisted.

"Ok then…" Spike agreed, hoping to convince her everything was fine. Of course the kid got jumpy when her sister skipped town. It brought back painful memories of the summer that they'd all much rather forget. Something about those memories brought an extra emotion to his voice as he read Buffy's letter aloud, giving each of the sentences a double meaning that hadn't been there before. As Spike reached the final sentence of the letter, Dawn's eyes widened suddenly in realisation.

"Oh God, no." She brought a hand to her mouth in shock, as she sunk down into a chair behind her.

"What? What is it? Dawn?" Spike was shaken by the look of pure horror on the young girl's face. He hadn't seen it too many times before, but enough to know it was definitely a very bad thing and he'd give practically anything to keep it off her face.

"She's going to die. Buffy's going to die." Dawn whispered, terrified and she instinctively hugged herself.

"What? Dawn, no! You're just scared. I know it's not nice, but she's just left town for a few days is all." Spike was sounding less sure of himself now, but was determined not to panic.

"No, Spike. You're wrong. Those are some of the exact words she said to me that day on the tower. That's why the letter sounded so weird to me. Do you really think I'd forget something like that? It's all I thought about for 147 days. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. Please, Spike, we have to find her. "

Dawn was trying not to let fear completely overcome her as she persuaded Spike to help her. For once she had to be the strong one, she couldn't just rely on everyone around her making the decisions and saving the day. Buffy needed her. She had to make Spike understand.

"Nibblet, please calm down. You're getting yourself into a state." He said with as much resolve as he could muster.

"Spike, if you don't help me, I'll walk to Giles' house on my own and make sure Buffy knows how you let me wander the streets at night while you were supposed to be watching me. Now shut the hell up and let's get into the car so we can go save my sister's life. Any questions?" Spike opened his mouth but Dawn's glare closed it again. Then she marched out of the front door towards Spike's car without even checking that he was following her.

"When did she get so scary?" He muttered to himself as he climbed into the driver's side.

"So where exactly are we going?" Dawn's shoulders slumped at this. She hadn't thought this far ahead. Her aim had been to get Spike into the car so they could find her. But where should they go? Where would her sister want to end her life? Shaking the morbid thoughts from her head, she made up her mind.

"We go to Giles' house for some back up. He'll know where to start looking." She said, resolved.

Spike quickly started the engine and he began to follow the familiar route to Giles'. He drove at a fair speed, but his first thought was for Dawn's safety. He didn't want to admit it but her panic was starting to affect him. He kept running through her sister's letter in his mind. Dawn was right. There was something off about Buffy's words. Something not quite right. The more he thought about it, the more inclined he was to believe Dawn's theory, distressing as it was. Which could mean only one thing: It was his fault. Buffy could have overheard him talking with Dawn. He had been practically blaming her for all his present unhappiness. No wonder she was feeling upset and guilty. But still, what would suicide achieve? Sure she was hurt, but that didn't usually provoke this sort of response from Buffy. There had to be something more to this. Buffy was a fighter. She didn't just give up.

When they arrived at Giles' place, Spike quickly parked and he and Dawn flew up to the front door before almost banging it down with their urgent knocking. They heard Giles muttering angrily to himself as he came to the door to let them in. Both Spike and Dawn were stopped short by the sight of the watcher in his pyjamas, wearing a pair of plastic looking neon orange socks.

"Ok, what are they?" Dawn pointed at the socks. There was no way she could let this go.

"They're to help get rid of unseemly foot odour. Spi-someone I know recommended them. I'm assuming that isn't the only reason for your impromptu visit…"

Both Giles and Spike were so obviously embarrassed that had it not been for the urgency of the situation Dawn would have loved nothing more than to wind them up some more. As it was, she quickly snapped back to the problem in hand. She showed Giles the note, and explained to him as she had with Spike exactly what she thought it meant. She was surprised when Spike not only agreed with her, but impatiently swept up some of Giles' clothes for him to change into as the conversation was taking too long for his liking. He now seemed desperate to get them all out of the house and begin the search.

"So you have no idea where she'd go. Think Dawn. You knew what was wrong with the note. Where do you think she'd go?" Giles encouraged her, having been convinced by her explanation.

"Maybe her grave, I think it's still there…"

"No. She won't go back there. Trust me." Spike interrupted. He shuddered at the memories of his own grave. He didn't think he'd have the balls to go back there even now.

"Where then?" Dawn asked, sounding more desperate and more frightened by the minute. The question hung in the air as the three of them tried to guess where Buffy was. Suddenly realisation hit Spike.

"The tower."

"But it's not there any more." Giles pointed out.

"She's there, I know she is." That was enough to convince Dawn. Giles quickly changed, then they piled into Spike's car and he drove as if they were trying to outrun an apocalypse. Giles phoned Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya, hoping against hope that one of them would be in the area and would be able to get to Buffy before they did.

As it turned out, the four of them reached the site where the tower had been as Spike screeched the car to a halt at the road beside it. Without a word to any of the others he broke into a sprint into the darkness, towards the place they'd found Buffy's body broken on the concrete what felt like years ago. The others followed him, walking, all of them afraid of what the darkness would reveal at the place of so many of their nightmares. Spike ran, instinctively knowing his way. He had played out so many scenarios in his head. So many ways to save her. Maybe this time he would. Visions of her bruised form, lying limp on the concrete flicked through his mind causing tears to trickle down his face as he ran. This time would be different. It had to be.

That was when he saw her.