Pride Land Information Source

The Television Show of all the 'True'

Aspects of the Pride Lands- Interview

with the low lifes

Disclaimer :: I don't own The Lion King. Obviously. Duh. I think I have said that a total of six times now in the past two days! Seneerie, Kipusa, and Cameraman James belong to me.

We fade into classic different wacky 'Pride Land Information Source' signs, as traditional theme plays

Seneerie (our host): singing; tune is similar to that of 'Home on the Range'... the original, not the Disney song. A little too many words in some of the phrases... Oh... the work was hard

and the pay was bad

and the way here was quite bor-ing

But on the way here

We see quite the advertisement

And that really got us lur-ing

So....

tune now similar to 'We're Gonna Take a Walk Outside Today'; if you've seen The Adventures of Milo and Otis you'll understand

If you're really bored and want to do something

Then at this show all your bells will ring

Yeah, if you're really bored and want to do something

Then at this show all your bells will ring

It's a really weird world and a good one too

for the stupid bums and the ones in the loo

Yeah, it's a really weird world and a good one too

for the stupid bums and the ones in the loo!

we now switch to a dome-like room, made of rock. In the middle is a polished rectangular table with two seats across from each other. In one of the two seats is a cream colored lioness; probably around Kiara's age at her time. The lioness is sitting like a lion, except her paws are on the table. This is Seneerie. She has been running this show for a matter of 5 years. On each side of the table is a microphone on a tiny stand with a long cord that seems to lead to nowhere.

Seneerie: who's nose is stuffed up, so all the ns are ds Hello viewers and jabber jabber and it's the circle of life and all that jazz! Except, actually it's more the circle of the PLSA Channel Station... but that's beside the point! And this program is brought to you by the generousness of my good friend Mufasa... you know he's king of the pride lands? Well, now you know and let's get on with the point!

Cameraman James: whispering Uh, Seneerie?

James holds out a tissue, because Seneerie's voice is considerably stuffy

Seneerie: also whispering Oh, James can't it wait? I've got more important things to do! turning back to the audience, speaking louder Eh em. We're having a few difficulties, but it's nothing serious and it doesn't keep us from showing our doohik. Show. Thing. Anyway, our first guest is... Kipusa!

Jeopardy music begins to play, and Seneerie is shouting over it

Seneerie: Ahem. Kipusa is Mufasa's brother's daughter. And... she's a little, er, short shall we say. And a slight bit... young. But that's okay! Here she comes!

Kipusa enters the room. There are several 'aw...' s, saying Kipusa is a cub

Kipusa: Uh, where's the restroom?

Seneerie: whispering to Kipusa Hush. yelling to audience At any rate, here she is, ripe and ready!

Kipusa: Why are you talking to them like I'm a fruit?

Seneerie: to Kipusa Hey kid, you wanna get your butt spanked?

Kipusa frowns and shuts her mouth

Seneerie: Right well... time for an interview! Sit down, sit down here Kipusa.

Kipusa sits down, and Seneerie folds her arms and leans toward the cub

Seneerie: Okay. The first question is, what is the meaning of life?

Kipusa: Huh?

Seneerie: laughing It's -- it's a joke. The real first question is, what is your place in the circle. Of life, that is?!

Kipusa: Oh. Well, my father is next in line to be king, but that's all gonna change soon because Mufasa's having a son. And so that puts him second in line to be king and me third in line to be queen.

Seneerie: Ah. I see, I see. And how do you feel about that?

Kipusa: Why are you asking me all these questions?

Seneerie: sighs, impatiently Because it's an interview.

Kipusa: Oh. Well isn't that last one kind of personal?

Seneerie: smiling guiltily and crossing 'fingers' No.

Kipusa: Well then, I feel betrayed. I mean, it's not really fair that Mufasa is cheating my dad out of being king.

Seneerie: Yeah but, don't you know that Scar isn't fit to be king?

Kipusa: What? How dare you!

Seneerie: I mean, you know, no offense, but he seems a little... how do you say? whispering Skinny? Bony? Weak?

Kipusa looks crossly at Seneerie

Kipusa: whispering I dislike you.

Seneerie: Temper, temper. shouting to the crowd Ahem, anyway, I think this little darling woochy poo is having a little temper tantrum. So, heh, why don't we bring her father in here?

Kipusa: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Seneerie: leaning over the table in Kipusa's face, eyes narrowed And exactly why not?

Kipusa: shrugs Don't say I didn't warn you.

Seneerie: rolls eyes and shrugs James, could you call Mr. Scar in?

Cameraman James: Yes, Miss Seneerie.

There is a brief moment of awkward silence as Seneerie blinks; a vacant expression on her face

Cameraman James: Mr. Scar is here, Miss Seneerie.

Seneerie: snaps fingers and brightens up Good! Mr. Scar, could you come in please?

Scar, mumbling, sits at the table

Scar: Yes?

Seneerie: Hello, Mr. Scar!

Scar: Eaughh! Could you please stop calling me that? It's just Scar, not Mr. Scar!

Seneerie: failing miserably to immitate a British accent It is, a form of politeness, Sir.

Scar: Form of politeness my dirty socks! And I don't even wear socks! Now, why did you call me here?

Seneerie: Because, in punk talk your daughter didn't satisfy our curiosity.

Scar: Oh? Well you can tell your sources that I am not interested in sitting in this utandu everyone in the room shivers of a place!

storms out the door, pulling it off it's hinges. Seneerie quivers, and clenches her teeth

Seneerie: Well. That went well.

Kipusa: who is failing to keep a straight face Don't say I never told'ja so.

Seneerie: Why you son -- or 'scuse me, in sing song making fun of voice, making "quotes" with fingers "daughter" of a --

Cameraman James: blocks the view of Seneerie and Kipusa. Immitating Porky the Pig Th- Th- That's all folks!

The Closest We Can Get to the End without Making this PG Rated