Disclaimer: I don't own RE4! Or Puff the magic dragon.

Luna: GUESS WHAT? I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO UPLOAD FORM MIRCOSOFT WORD! I want to say to Shady 777: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME HOW TO UPLOAD FROM MIRCOSOFT! Writing is a breeze now, thanks! Here's the chapter!

Chapter 14: Ashley's Wacky Adventure part 2

Meanwhile, while Leon was talking……

Ashley finished the puzzle, which was a big thing for her because she had the brain capacity of a sponge.

" I did it, Leon!" cried Ashley.

A treasure chest appeared with a warning. It said: Thou who takes thee treasure is royally screwed. Deciding that no one listened to cryptic warnings anymore, she opened the chest and got the family Insignia.

And just like Ashley bet her Pradas , the knights came alive; and attacked.

" Hey!" screamed Ashley, " This isn't fair! Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is? The president! He'll get you all for this!"

" Sorry…." I said, " I actually didn't make this part up. In the game you ARE attacked by suits of armor. And your president father doesn't technically exist in my world. AND THIS IS MY FIC SO I CONTROL IT! Oh, yeah, and stop seducing Leon. I know he's hot, BUT HAVE YOU NO DIGNITY?"

" Who the hell?" asked Ashley, " What was that?"

The knights, much like me; didn't care who her daddy was. They advanced, and Ashley couldn't find any conveniently placed lanterns. So she ran. She ran into the corridor, and a seemingly innocent statue attacked her, but she moved agley away. Okay, so she fell backwards. But hey, it worked.

She ran all the way back to the room with the gates. Ashley pressed a button, raised and gate and ran through. She pressed another button to lower it. The knights, incapable of using buttons, couldn't get to her. Ashely exit the room into another. This room had a lever with a an indent of a circular object on it. She placed the Family Insignia there, and went up the ladder . She took out the Leon bottle cap ,and kissed it." Thank you, Leon." she said.

Someone worships Leon….it's scary!

"Leon!" cried Ashley, finally on the balcony with him.

" Ashley!" said Leon, as he pushed the cultist in drag off the balcony.

" Who was that?" asked Ashley, curiously.

" No one! Nothing!" said Leon, nervous.

She ran to him and embraced him. Tightly. Poor Leon stared awkwardly.

" Uh, you did good…." said Leon, " Get off me…..Please?"

Ashley was too busy talking about her 'adventure' a mile a minute, "- and then, there where this creepy knights and a voice!"

Leon suddenly had an excuse for her to get off him. Salazar transmission.

" Aw, what a tender moment," said Salazar.

" And you ruined it," said Leon, " Thank you! THANKYOU! I can breathe again….."

" We'll get you my pretty, and your little brat, too!" cackled Salazar.

" Did you just hit on me? You called me pretty….."

" No! I didn't Mr. Kennedy! I must go!"

" Hey is that Luis's dead body?" asked Ashley.

" Yeah….."

" Oh. Too bad. Let's go, my Leon!"

First, they backtracked all the way to the Hedge Maze garden. There was a door there that Leon couldn't enter cause he was too short. He needed someone to piggyback on him. That person was Ashley. She was overjoyed to help, and unlocked the door. Leon got the 'Broken Butterfly' magnum.

" Powerful….." said Leon, " Only 6 shots…..I'd better save them for something special."

He did. He killed the 6 cultists he met on the way back with the magnum. Very conservative, Leon. Very.

Then, they ran all the way back to the balcony area and exited through the double doors. The area they were in now was a large room with a strange looking railcar parked there. If you could call it that. The 'railcar' had a small platform with 1 wheel on each side.

" Ashley, stay here," said Leon, as he stepped on the platform fearfully.

It began moving as he mumbled, " Happy thoughts…..happy thoughts….Quick death!"

Finally, he got to the other side. There was mechanical dragons in this area, breathing fire everywhere.

" Dragons…" said Leon, " stupid dragons. INFECTED DRAGONS!"

You might think this is just another random burst of infected drabble from Leon, but there was a reason. Let's dig deeper, shall we?

Flashback

Leon was a 10 year old kid, innocent and impressionable. He was watching his favorite show, Puff the Magic Dragon. : and yes, I know that show was in the 60's and Leon was a kid in the 80's, but let's pretend they showed re-runs.: He loved that show and believed Puff was real. He was dumb.

" Hey, Leon!" said his brother, Jim, " That show's dumb!"

" No its not!" said Leon, " Puff is magical."

" Puff is a cigarette! It's all metaphors for a kid getting high and having an illusion of a dragon!"

" No….he can't be a cigarette….he's magic! MAGIC, I SAY!"

Leon was lied to. The dragon was fake, it was about getting high. That's when Leon developed his 'magic' and 'conspiracy' complex. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it…..

Back to the present…..

Leon got out his sniper rifle and said, " Puff, your gonna be smoking now, when I shoot you!"

Luna: I hope you all enjoyed a chapter with actual punctuation, correct spelling and bold and italics. Because all my chapters now on will have this! YAY! Next Chapter: A toast to his stupidity……