I haven't ever really found a place that I call home. I never stick around quite long enough to make it…
*****
Gossamer Dreams
Part 9
*****
"Good morning, Inuyasha." Kagura greeted him as she entered the room, causing both her husband and her brother to rise out of respect. "I am sorry to be late this morning, but I hope I did not keep you both waiting too long."
"Not at all." Sesshoumaru nodded to her lightly as they all sat after her. "Inuyasha only just arrived. You were not the only one abed until nearly noon."
"What could keep you asleep so long, dear brother?" Kagura smiled as she let the servants fill her plate and teacup as usual. They had made breakfast into a private tradition, all of them meeting to eat together each morning for nearly six months since the Emperor passed away. Inuyasha hardly spoke at first, but he was warming up to his brother and sister-in-law to some degree. Other than Kikyo, they were the only people that seemed to genuinely care for him. "Were you sneaking about last night, giving poor Moriyaku a heart attack?"
"Hardly." He answered, looking distastefully at the tea that the servants poured for him every morning as though he would eventually forget he hated the taste and take a sip of it. Ignoring it, he began to cut up his sausages as neatly as possible. If nothing else, his time with Kikyo, Sesshoumaru, and Kagura was improving his manners incredibly. Moriyaku had nearly burst into tears after one meal because he had not slurped his soup once. "I was in far before bed time, but I had contraband with me." He smiled maliciously, waiting for the question he knew his bait would receive.
"Contraband?" Sesshoumaru arched a pale eyebrow as he speared a strawberry and began cutting it into an acceptably edible size. "Of what sort?"
"Kikyo's birthday is in three days." He explained. "She let it slip two months ago. And so I decided to get her something."
"What did you get her?" Kagura was interested, but every mention of Kikyo bothered Sesshoumaru endlessly. He did not approve of his brother, the prince just below him, spending so much time with a girl from the Apartment. It was the only thing that Kagura and he had really fought about, about three months ago when it finally came out that Keiko, Inuyasha's mother, was in fact one of the Gifted. This secret had shocked them both when Inuyasha had told them, but Kagura had minded it much less than Sesshoumaru, who seemed to find the whole business a personal insult his father was imparting from beyond the grave. He had not said what he truly thought in front of Inuyasha, who so clearly found his mother to be the ultimate in virtue and feminine perfection, but after the boy had left, he had vented his anger at the insult to his perfect bloodlines to Kagura, who had not supported his views at all. She had attempted sympathy for a few moments, but that had quickly faded into anger at his intractable prejudice against the women of the Apartment. At that point, Kagura had brought Kikyo up, and the discussion had exploded into an argument, complete with shouting and a nicely thrown perfume decanter courtesy of Kagura. The sitting room still smelled of lavender so strongly it would stick to one's clothes if they spent longer than an hour in there at a time. The only comment this episode had elicited outside of their private room was from Kijo, who had said that it was good to see they were getting closer.
They had an understanding from then on that they would try their best not to fight about anything, no matter how strongly they felt on the matter and how deeply their opinions diverged. Anything that garnered Kijo's approval had to be a bad thing.
"A book. I stole it from the library in the east wing." Inuyasha smiled brightly, waiting for praise for his cleverness. The east wing library was Kijo's private refuge, if one did not count her chambers or that of her ever-present brother, the Lord Naraku.
"That must have been a frightening mission to embark upon." Kagura awarded him with a warm smile of her own, and he nearly bounced in his seat with pleasure. Kagura was unbelievably beautiful when she smiled, and it was one of Inuyasha's goals to see her smile as often as possible. "Tell me, were you afraid?"
"Not a bit." Inuyasha assured her, his chest puffing out slightly. "I was very careful to avoid being spotted."
"I am sure you would be." Kagura spoke over the rim of her teacup, eyes flashing merrily. "What a disaster if the snake herself had seen you enter her lair."
"I took a sword with me." Inuyasha admitted, "Not a very sharp one, but I thought it would come in handy if worse came to worse."
"Very brave of you." Sesshoumaru sighed finally. "A shame she did not find you. I would have been deeply grateful if you had brought me a present as well."
"That is delightfully horrible of you, Sesshoumaru." Kagura's eyes turned to the pale heir who was still too young to assume the throne by three months. "I cannot believe you would let your dear brother walk into her den armed with nothing but a dull sword and then have the audacity to be disappointed that she did not happen upon him on his mission."
"Even an Emperor can dream." He spoke, his tone philosophical. "And I am still no more than a prince."
"Soon, you will be old enough." Kagura reminded him. "I am sure that Kijo has something wicked planned for that happenstance. It would be a shame if she had to hand the reigns over to you."
"If she could get them out of Naraku's fingers." Sesshoumaru murmured before setting down his fork. "Never mind that, though. It is far too early for us to be concerned with the baser beings in the world. I am only glad to have my closest companions here with me."
"As am I." Kagura tilted her head ever so slightly; a graceful gesture that Inuyasha thought only made her seem more the Empress that she would one day be. They could train her and drill her forever and never teach her anything as utterly genius as that way she sat, the way her head moved, the way her eyes caught the sunlight and magnified it into something delightful and joyous. "It has been a delight to dine with you, Inuyasha. An utter delight."
"The pleasure's all mine." He flushed slightly under her soft eyes and caring smile. With these three people, his brother, his sister, and his best friend, he could truly handle the viper and her brother. He could live through the nights when something he saw would strike a chord in his soul and there was nothing for it but to suppress his tears and try his hardest not to cry himself to sleep, missing his parents. Missing his mother. He had recovered only one small chest of her treasures after she had died. It contained one dress, a royal robe that Inutaiko had given her even though she would never have occasion to wear it, three hair combs, and a small, jeweled box that contained a number of necklaces and other jeweled bangles. When he opened the box, it played a soft, lilting melody, just as it had when his mother was alive. It invariably made him think of her, and it invariably brought tears to his eyes, and so he kept it carefully shut and hidden from all eyes in a secret room he had found when he was six and had used since then to store all his most precious treasures.
"I worry that this will only cause you more trouble, though." Kagura considered. "Only the other day, Kijo stormed straight in here to accost Sesshoumaru, nagging him about every detail of our meals together. She was in a rage, if I may say."
"You may, as she was." Sesshoumaru concurred. "It is true, and yet…I find that anything which vexes her only pleases me all the more. And you, Inuyasha?"
"I feel the same." He nodded assertively.
"Only think of what she will say when you are Emperor and you name Inuyasha Crown Prince." Kagura sipped at her tea in utter delight at the subject of causing Kijo's plots any sort of tangles. "A rage, I say."
"Quite correct." Sesshoumaru set down his napkin, having finished his breakfast, but not his conversation. "That would almost be an understatement."
"You don't really mean to name me, do you?" Inuyasha asked, incredulous. "She would never stand for it."
"She will not have to stand. It is a rather long ceremony, she might sit if it pleases her." Kagura suggested, her face utterly serious. "And it is not so very silly, Inuyasha. Obviously, who else would Sesshoumaru possibly name as heir?"
"You…when you two have a son…" Inuyasha began, hesitating halfway through his explanation and then stopping utterly when Kagura actually began laughing. Sesshoumaru's face quirked into what could be considered something vaguely resembling a smile, and he frowned, having missed the joke.
"Oh dear, that was quite priceless, Inuyasha." Kagura pulled a fan out to wave at her face prettily before snapping it closed and letting it disappear into her sleeve from whence it had come. "Sesshoumaru and I having a son. That would be quite impossible, dear boy."
"But why?" he could not believe this. And why was it funny that Sesshoumaru and Kagura were having such a potentially serious problem in their relationship and responsibility to the kingdom.
"Because, we are not in love." Kagura answered him bluntly. "And though I must say, Sesshoumaru is my dearest friend and most trusted confidant—"
"As you are mine." He interjected smoothly.
"Why, thank you. Yes, of course, we could never have a child if we know that the two people most determined to see the fruits of such a union are the two people we hate most in this world. It would be horrible to be our child, do you not think? We would begrudge the poor thing its very existence. And so, no matter how Kijo nags and no matter what herbal infusions they leave outside our door, there will never be a child born between the two of us. However, if Sesshoumaru were to take a consort, then there would be a possible future heir. That is, however, very unlikely at this time, and so, we shall just go on as we have, sleeping as far apart as that dratted bed allows without becoming uncomfortable, and while we seem amiable enough, there will never be a child from us." Kagura explained carefully.
"How come you don't love each other?" Inuyasha blinked at her. "I mean…I understand how you might not be in love with him—"
"Thank you, that is very flattering, dear brother." Sesshoumaru spoke up, his tone dry.
"But Sesshoumaru has no reason not to love you." Inuyasha continued. "No one will ever be as beautiful as you, and besides that, you are the perfect Empress."
"I doubt that is what he is looking for, exactly." Kagura smiled brightly once more. "Though I do appreciate the sentiment."
"And you forget, she is my cousin." Sesshoumaru reminded his brother. "It is a distasteful affair, all of it."
"I never thought to marry a man prettier than myself." Kagura sighed dramatically. "Such a trial."
"Please, you are hardly winning sympathy with your whimpering." Sesshoumaru stood. "Now then, let us conclude. I have many other obligations far less pleasing to see to before the day ends."
"As do I." Kagura agreed reluctantly. "It was a pleasure, as always."
"Indeed." Sesshoumaru bowed slightly and exited the room, with Kagura a few steps behind him. Inuyasha left last, thinking about their words.
What was love, after all? And where might one find it. He thought Kikyo might know the answer.
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"Oh, my dear boy," Kijo swept into the room as she always did, like a great beautiful tidal wave ready to swallow all those who saw her. At the moment, that would only consist of Sesshoumaru, as she had just entered his private chambers. Uninvited. Again. "I have been searching you out."
"Mother." He had to remember patience, always. "I have told you repeatedly that I do not wish for you to enter my chambers unannounced. It is unnerving to have an audience while I am trying only to get dressed. Besides that, it is not yet midmorning. You cannot have been looking for me for very long. Lastly, whatever it is that you wish to say must be rather timely, as I have to meet with Kagura and Inuyasha for breakfast in a matter of minutes, and while it is appropriate at times for a lady to arrive late, I hate to keep one waiting for my own arrival."
Such a child, as though I have never seen your body before." Kijo rolled her eyes widely. "You were my only baby, if you do not recall, and sometimes I think you do not."
"Timely, mother." Sesshoumaru prompted her from behind the dressing screen he was glad that he used religiously.
"It will not matter if they are made to wait a little while. What are they to your own dear mother?" she asked, blinking in a manner he estimated was supposed to approximate innocence, but it fell drastically short; an unsurprising development.
"They are my wife and my brother, and as they have an equal right to my attention by those ties alone, if not by the pleasure of their company over yours, and so I shall not delay." He explained to her, his tone icy.
"So cold, Sesshoumaru. You are my child, and yet you act as though I am a witch of some sort." She attempted a pout, and Sesshoumaru decided he preferred it when she stuck to what she knew. This attempt at a sweet and affectionate mother was nothing short of terrifying.
"Are you not? I had not bothered to ask." He answered, not even bothering to think over her reaction. His alliance with Kagura had strengthened his will considerably, and he wondered sometimes if his mother regretted a decision that had obviously been meant to rein him in toward her even tighter than before.
"My only baby, and he slanders me this way." She sighed deeply as though the whole business were something she could hardly bring herself to believe. "Come here, my dear."
"Mother—"
"Only a moment. I just wish to hold you, as I used to." She actually made a look that seemed like it could be yearning. "Please, my baby."
"Aren't I a bit big for that?" he asked. "Besides, I hardly remember you holding me at all."
"Now I will start." She decided that if he was not going to meet her, she would meet him, and so she crossed the barrier of the dressing screen where Sesshoumaru was still trying to fasten up the front of his shirt. He was too surprised to say anything, so he only stared in disbelief as she reached up, hugging him tightly, and thus ruining his chances of finishing with his shirt until she let go. "You are so very pretty, Sesshoumaru, my little flower."
"Mother, I am not a girl." He told her, his tone regaining a measure of annoyance as he realized he was actually going to smell like her now. "If you did not recall."
"I did…" her hands wandered over his chest in a manner that he considered entirely inappropriate. "This is how a man's body should look, is it not?"
"I am a man, I suppose." Sesshoumaru pulled away and glared at her for good measure as he began again on the fastenings she'd ruined. "It would only make sense."
"I am sure Kagura agrees." Kijo's head tilted slightly, the unspoken question in the air. "She is not disappointed, is she?"
"I see no reason she should be." He left her alone, she left him alone, they were the best of friends; it was perfect for both of them.
"I just worry, my dear." She sighed sadly. "If you need help with her…I can show you how."
"Mother!" That was quite enough. "I am quite late as it is. I will be going, and when I return, you had best not be here, as I would be extremely annoyed."
"My own child, annoyed with me, as though he doesn't love me and need me so much." Kijo clicked her tongue slightly. "Remember always that your mother is here for you."
"I wish I could forget."
*****
The End (Of Part 9, That Is)