Pride Land Information Source

The Television Show of all the 'True'

Aspects of the Pride Lands- Translating

Jibberish

WOW! 3 REVIEWS IN ONE DAY! I MUST BE REALLY GOOD (JUST KIDDING)! THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH!

Disclaimer :: Blah blah blah. I don't own The Lion King. You know what I do own, and YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO STEAL IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! LIONESS ALSO BELONGS TO ME!!! MUHAHA!!

Notes :: Yay! Another chapter! gasp At any rate, I had to change the rating ((grumbles)) because, heh, we have a little drug abuse in this chapter. Which reallly sucks, because this is supposed to be a fic for all audiences to enjoy and learn from, but how can it be that if it's rated PG 13? I'll try to tone it down a little, so that I don't have to rate it R, heh, I'm hardly considered 17.

We fade into classic different wacky 'Pride Land Information Source' signs, as traditional theme plays

Seneerie (our host): singing; tune is similar to that of 'Home on the Range'... the original, not the Disney song. A little too many words in some of the phrases...

Oh... the work was hard

and the pay was bad

and the way here was quite bor-ing

But on the way here

We see quite the advertisement

And that really got us lur-ing

So....

tune now similar to 'We're Gonna Take a Walk Outside Today'; if you've seen The Adventures of Milo and Otis you'll understand

If you're really bored and want to do something

Then at this show all your bells will ring

Yeah, if you're really bored and want to do something

Then at this show all your bells will ring

It's a really weird world and a good one too

for the stupid bums and the ones in the loo

Yeah, it's a really weird world and a good one too

for the stupid bums and the ones in the loo!

we now switch to a dome-like room, made of rock. In the middle is a polished rectangular table with two seats across from each other. In one of the two seats is a cream colored lioness; probably around Kiara's age at her time. The lioness is sitting like a lion, except her paws are on the table. This is Seneerie; who finally seems to have lost some weight. She has been running this show for a matter of 5 years. On each side of the table is a microphone on a tiny stand with a long cord that seems to lead to nowhere.

Seneerie: Ah, hello! If I have any viewers, I am so flattered! At any rate... this show is sponsered by Mufiepoo... I'm so flattered to be friends with the king of the pride lands... If you didn't know that you do now. Now, today we are interviewing Simba!

we hear some polite, canned applause

Seneerie: And now, maybe BEFORE the jeopardy music starts, enter Simba.

jeopardy music begins; Seneerie sits, her paw smashed against her face; thumping her fingers to no particular rythm

Seneerie: Eh em. I said, ENTER SIMBA!!!

Sarabi enters, carrying little tiny baby Simba; who might I add is crying

Seneerie: Ahh! My poor ears! winces and covers ears with paws

Sarabi: We're here!

Seneerie: Could you make him stop crying?

Sarabi: Oh, okay. screaming at top of lungs STOP THE MUSIC!!! music comes to an abrupt stop

Seneerie: who has returned to a "normal" state Ah. That's better. Now, come sit down, Sarabi, Simba.

Sarabi smiles and sits down opposite Seneerie. She cradles Simba in her arms, cradling him. He falls asleep, and Seneerie sighs

Seneerie: Sarabi... I need him for the interview.

Sarabi: Oh, I'm terribly sorry... pokes Simba extremely hard in the stomach; he immediately wakes up and resumes crying

Seneerie: screams SHUT HIM UP!!

Sarabi: closes Simba's mouth; looks rather embarrassed Oh, sorry. Yes I know, just thinking about it gives you a migraine, doesn't it?

Seneerie: Uh, actually... it doesn't really work -- whatever. Let me handle that.

Sarabi holds out Simba carelessly, he drops to the ground. Both gasp

Sarabi: Simba!

Seneerie: Sambio! Sarabi glares at her Heh, I mean SIMBA! Are you alright? picks up Simba, who is crying again Shh... shh...

Sarabi: whispering Give me that. Now.

Seneerie: holding Simba away from Sarabi Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-no... he's mine. smiles tenderly, Simba has stopped crying He likes me.

Sarabi: mouth gaping You're right. He does.

Seneerie: Well then... why don't you leave, and Simba and I... we'll get to our interview.

Sarabi nods and leaves

Seneerie: So Simba. You'll be the next king. How do you feel about that?

Simba: Geshee.

Seneerie: Huh? Could you repeat that?

Simba: Sh. Gale... ffffa!

Seneerie looks at him; annoyedly

Seneerie: Great. Does someone here know baby language?

a lioness; maybe a few years younger than Seneerie; raises her han

Lioness: I do!

Seneerie: snaps finger Ah, good! Come on down.

Seneerie, still carrying Simba, makes her way through the crowds, staggering: after she snags her paw on a piece of metal

Seneerie: Yeeeow!!!

The lioness makes her way to Seneerie

Lioness: Are you alright? Here, let me help you. she helps Seneerie, who is constantly gasping in pain, back to her table where she sits in the chair. Lioness sits opposite her

Seneerie: voice strained in pain The first question is... Oh, right. Heh heh. You'll be the next king. How do you about feel that?

Lioness gives her a look

Seneerie: I mean, heh, how do you feel about that?

Simba: Shoota! Glateahsh.

Seneerie: Translation, please?

Lioness: Er... "Drinks! They rock."

Seneerie: Simba! Bad boy. You're not even a year old. You're way too young for drugs. But... on the other hand...

Cameraman James: Here's your "Hyena Barf", Seneerie.

holds out a bottle of wine with the name "Hyena Barf" on it

Seneerie: I was waiting for that. Apparently, my order finally came in. But during my show?

Lioness drools

Seneerie: Oh well. Want some? begins pouring it down Simba's throat

Lioness: NO!!!

Lioness pulls the Hyena Barf away

Lioness: No, kids! No way! Drugs are bad. If you are under ten years old, please tell your mommies and daddies the following message, "I will not listen to stupid, drunk TV show hosts and I will not drink Hyena Barf." Okay?

Simba: smacks lips, fondly That was good.

Seneerie gasps

Seneerie: His first words! Good little Simbie-wimbie...

Mufasa storms in, he looks like he's been seriously working out and his mane's all snazzy. He's holding a rose

Mufasa: Seneerie!

Seneerie looks at Mufasa, her eyes turn to hearts

Seneerie: Oh, Mufiepoo!

they dash toward each other -- Seneerie seriously staggering -- and embrace

Seneerie: You did that? For me?

Mufasa: Mm hmm. But I have to go.

Seneerie: who's spirits are seriously down Alright.

Mufasa heads out the door

Mufasa: Bye sweetie babycakes!

Seneerie waves, staggering back to the table and constantly gasping in pain

Seneerie: Back to the point. Well, it seems your services are no longer needed. pushes Lioness away

Lioness: But-- whatever.

Lioness struts off, Seneerie shrugs and continues talking to "Simba-wimbie"

Seneerie: So Simba. as a reminder, Seneerie is drunk and therefore her vision is out of focus Whoah... you look weird, man. Anyway, do... you.... want... to be...faints

Cameraman James: Whoops! It seems our dear host has had one too many... see you next time!

The Closest We Can Get to the End Without Seeing Seneerie Picked up by an Ambulance and see Mufasa Show Mercy on Her