Disclaimer: I don't own Re4 or any Re's

Luna: Yes! It worked! The '9;' things were almost completely gone in the last chapter and I think I know how to fix it so it won't do it again. 103 REVIEWS? WOW:stares in shock:……:still in shock: chapter….

Chapter16: Leon loses Ashley. AGAIN!

Leon and Ashley went to go get the King's Grail. Nothing of importance happened until Leon was attacked by armor. Yes, armor. Like when Ashley was attacked by armor, except Leon couldn't run away screaming like a little girl and escape. Well, he could run around screaming like a little girl, but the doors were locked.

Leon threw Incendiary Grenades at them until they showed their Plagas. Then, he used a flash Grenade to kill them instantly.

So he and Ashley back tracked all the way to the statues. Placing the Grails in the correct places, Leon and Ashley go into the ballroom.

" Ewww!" cried Ashley, " It's a hive of bugs! Icky!"

True, the ballroom did have a large hive in the middle of it.

" Bugs aren't icky," said Leon, patiently, " I bet that their more afraid of you than you are of them. And bugs have emotions too. Calling them icky hurts their feelings, apologize."

" Leon, what ARE you on?" asked Ashley, " It's that bottle of pills Luis gave you, isn't it? Looks like ecstasy -"

" NO!" said Leon, eyes wide, " If we just walk pass them, they won't even notice."

Finally seeing that arguing with Leon was futile, she begrudgingly walked along side him.

Suddenly, a Novistador :actual name of mutant cockroaches: flew forward at an alarming speed and grabbed Ashley and flew off.

" Leon!" cried Ashley.

" Ashley!" cried Leon.

He ran forward a little. Didn't take out a Sniper Rifle. Didn't bother to shoot it. Just watched.

"Well, thanks for trying!" spat Ashley as she and the Novistador disappeared into the night.

I mean, as much as I can't stand her, she had a point. I wasn't even exaggerating on this one, he wasn't even trying.

But now Leon didn't have time to think. It's not like he thought much normally, but you get the picture….Because all the 'sensitive' bugs were attacking.

" You know my speech about bugs?" asked Leon, as he blew them away with his Striker, " It only applies to NON-INFECTED BUGS!"

Leon did some KKDS and shot them, and managed to shot down the chains holding up the drawbridge. He crossed and ended up in front of a clock tower.

He took out his binoculars and said, " My hands are HUGE!"

" A little higher….smart one, " I said, trying not to lose patience.

Leon obeyed and saw her being taken away by cultists. He received a transmission from Salazar shortly after.

" Salazar! If you touch a hair on her head, mess up her hair, abuse her in any way, shape or form-" began Leon.

" Okay! I think he gets it!" I said, to stop Leon's 5-hour long speech.

"-I'll break every bone in your 3-year old body!" finished Leon.

" Such words, Mr. Kennedy," said Salazar, " But she is fine. We're preparing a ritual to bestow her with great power when she comes to our side."

" When I find you!"

" Oh sorry, have to go. Toodles!"

" Ashley…" he mumbled, " I hope your okay…."

Meanwhile….

Ashley was in a dimly lit but well furnished room, with 2 creepy cloaked guards and a assortment of cultists. She was waiting for her knight in shiny armor :Leon, although its more like knight with ADD- victory dance spaz attacks with shiny armor.

"Hi," said Ashley, to a cloaked figure.

He didn't reply.

" Hey, you have an awfully pale complexion," said Ashley, to a cultist.

" Me?" he asked, in English, " Your talking to m-me? I'm Simon."

" Simon, huh?" asked Ashley, " Do you ever think about using cover-up to restore the color in your dead cheeks?"

"Simon….." growled one cultist, " Get back to work."

" In a sec," replied Simon, " You really wanna put cover-up on me?"

"Sure!"

Ashley got out her handy, dandy, super makeup kit. Where did she get it, you ask? Same place where she got that flashlight. I really don't know. First she applied cover-up, then red lipstick , mascara, blush and purple eyeliner. You see, Simon here was desperate for attention and didn't realize that all the other stuff wasn't cover up. Or maybe he was just dumb.

" AHHHHH!" screamed Simon, looking in a mirror, " MY FACE! ….is pretty….I mean, AHHHHH!"

Laughter erupted from his fellow cultists and the cloaked dude took her makeup bag and stomped on it. Sadlt, the Leon bottle cap was in there.

" Don't worry Ashley!" cried Leon bottle cap, " I-I'm…coming…..for….you….."

"No….Leon…"said Ashley, and began to cry, "MY bottle cap of Leon worship! My 100 cosmetics!"

"No more makeup!" said a random cultist.

He took a bite out of the lipstick and said, " Minty!"

Ashley just stared.

Luna: Yay! I'm done here, be sure to come back for Chapter 17: Creepy, Slimy, Traitors Pit!