Dislcaimer: Same as always, I own nothing but my plot and characters. Nothing of J.K. Rowling's is mine.

A/N: Phew...Do you guys know how sorry I am for not posting for that long? You should. I have been going through some situations and haven't had time to update..but now I'm back..and won't take so long to update next time. Please don't kill me for taking such a long time updating. Man, I've had such a rough time lately getting to my comp. I was sick for a week straight! But no worries, I appreciate your patience.

Chapter 18: Falling

At last Monday came, which meant I would have to face Malfoy in Potions class soon enough. All of my other classes made it easy to avoid him because I sat on the opposite side of the room from his ferret-ness. My heart still ached from assuming his liking me was just a scam. I felt awful, as though I had ruined his life and couldn't do anything to make it better. Had I some feeling for him other than friendship? If I did, It was surely too late to say it to Draco. He was scarred, and I was the cause for his pain. But was he in pain at all? During the day I noticed his laughing and talking regularly with his posse. Was he just covering up the damage I inflicted into him? How come I was the bad one all of a sudden? Why did I feel so terrible? Why couldn't I have just told him I liked him? Why can't I stop asking myself dumb questions that will obviously never be answered...?

Breakfast was quiet. I told Ron, Harry, and Hermione about my talk with Hagrid the other day, and suddenly they felt bad for me and had nothing to say. Except for sympathetic things that made me feel worse. Hermione was the first one to tell the others to stop pitying me. Thank Merlin for best friends.

"Today you and your partners will be testing each other." Professor Snape wasn't in his normally evil mood, "I am giving you all a review day for the test tomorrow. You will ask your partners questions from the textbook, and if they do not answer correctly, they will look it up in the book and write it own once on a sheet of paper. The test will be on the last three chapters we have covered. No funny business..."

I was supposed to have two more detentions with Snape from last week, but he told me not to worry about it. This was surprising, and the first nice thing he had ever said to me. Snape had his reasoning though; He was going to be busy all week with a project Dumbledore is making him do, so he can't be bothered with detentions. The other students who were supposed to have detention with him still had detention though, but with Filch. I had no idea why Snape was being a little kinder to me. Of course, his generosity didn't stay for very long.

"Miss Maguire, Mr. Malfoy," Snape approached our silent desks, "Why are you two not questioning each other?"

Seeing as Draco would probably say something stupid, I wanted to tell the truth, (or at least part of it) "Professor, we would question each other, but right now we are on no-speaking terms from a fight we had the other day. So, if you don't mind, could we just study silently instead?"

"Is this true, Mr. Malfoy," Snape asked the Ferret.

Ferret Boy nodded his head, "Yes, Sir."

"Alright," Snape gave in, "you two may study solo for today, but after tomorrow I expect you to not let your personal affairs interfere with schoolwork."

Great. Positively grand-tastic. I would have to associate with the Ferret Wednesday and there was no way out of it. Snape would make sure the Ferret and I worked together. Yet, to actually be civil to Draco again, Snape would have to threaten to murder me. I wonder, what is it like being an old, greasy git? Snape really doesn't look as greasy as everyone said he did, but insulting him in my thoughts made my mood lighten up. Along with him, thoughts of insulting a ferret came to mind.

What was it like to be a ferret? Was it complicated living as an animal amongst human beings? Or was Draco used to being the center of attention? He sure doesn't have my attention.. If I had a choice between dating Draco the Ferret or Snakey Snape I'd probably choose Snape. That's if it was the end of the world and they were the last two males on the face of the earth. Perhaps I'd be lucky enough to meet a male alien...Now there would be an interesting alternative to a ferret or a snake. I would probably choose to be an old maid though, if anything.

Flying exam today. I passed with flying colors. Lovely pun, eh? It was an easy exam though; Everyone had to perform a few nose-dives, fly upside-down for more than ten seconds (which mad blood rush to my head), do a few flips, and fly without using our hands. (Look Ma, No Hands!) The only tough thing was my last nose-dive. I almost pulled up too late, which would've resulted in a painful crash into a bush.

In Transfiguration, Ms. McGonagall complimented me on the fine job I did turning my chair into a lamb. After my lamb tried to escape the classroom, I felt quite sheepish. McGonagall didn't see my pulling the lamb back over to my desk, but Hermione did and started to laugh. When the class transformed the lambs back into chairs, I felt awkward sitting down. I personally didn't want to sit on a lamb.

Later at night I sat in the Gryffindor common room and wrote some poems in my journal I created not too long ago. It was relxing, far more relaxing than reading for some reason. Maybe more relaxing because I expressed my emotions. I usually hid them away. The poem wasn't too bad..I never really wrote anything pertaining to my feelings before, so it was an experience in itself.

You hate me,

I hate you back,

You offer some care,

but I only attack,

I ask for a hand,

You give a sneer,

Confusion of feelings,

Nothing is clear,

Deep in your soul,

Burns something pure,

I think I want it,

Now not so sure,

Twisted emotions,

I'm with confusion,

Thought I saw you smile,

It was an illusion,

Had the chance,

Could stop stalling,

For now I see truth,

I think I am Falling..

My poem... I had no clue who it was reffering to. Honestly, I thought about it being towards Draco, but it didn't fit. There was no reason behind my poem.. Just lost emotions that found their way as ink blots onto my parchment. The poem boggled my mind. I read it several times over, but still could not figure out who it was written about. Perhaps I was secreetly falling for Ferret, and didn't realize it. Could that happen? Could your own body, soul, mind, and heart mutiny against you and not let you know how you feel towards someone?

That night I tried to get some rest, but the thought of my mystery poem swam through my brainwaves impatiently. I found myself uncomfortable in my own bed, squirming with anxiousness. Itching from head to toe in thought, I did not get one minutes worth of sleep all night. Hearing my alarm clock go off, I sat up from my bed and felt unbelievably tired.

After changing slowly into a black peasant top and jeans, I put my hair into a bun and walked to the Great Hall. Upon entering, I felt a little light-headed. Sitting down by Hermione as usual, she asked me why I looked so tired.

"...no...sleep.." I responded.

Hermione frowned, "Oh Merlin, you should go back to bed. I'm sure Professors will understand that you aren't up to par."

"..And what am I supposed to do about Snape's test, hmm? Re-take it? I doubt he will let me make it up. Plus, everyone's already seen me now that I came in here. It's too late, I have to put up with my exhaustion. I'll live." My sarcasm was a bit too much for so early in the morning. You'd think Snape was rubbing off on me.

Chewing on toast, Ron jumped in, "Well, you could always pull one of your famous episodes on Snape and not have to take the test."

"Famous episodes?" I asked defensively.

"Yes, Episodes," Ron finished chewing on his toast and swallowed, "You snap at Snape and he gives you a detention or kicks you out of class and you won't have to take the test."

"That's not a very bright idea," Hermione interjected, "You know you aren't on great terms with Snape, Maranda. If you piss him off anymore he might purposely fail you. He did that to Neville last year."

"Yeah," Started Harry, "but that was because Neville nearly set Snape's robes on fire."

"Look..I'm glad you three are trying to help, but I'm just going to have to take the test and fail that way. I don't think I'm awake enough to fight with him." I drank some orange juice as everone left the subject alone for the rest of breakfast.