Written for the Livejournal Community '100roadtrips'.
Challenge #1: Unexpected consequences.
"…please tell me that's not what it looks like."
"Oh dear."
One time. They'd only done it one time. Gojyo had been sleeping with girls for the past 7 years, and when nothing had ever come of it he'd assumed that either he was incredibly lucky, or genetics kept him from spawning.
But this was just ridiculous.
Hakkai examined his distended stomach. Yes, he'd been feeling a bit ill lately. Yes, he craved strange foods. Yes, he'd been a bit… moody. But he hadn't thought anything of it.
Clearly, he should have.
Somewhere, Botatsu was having a very good laugh.
Challenge #2: Ghosts.
Sometimes, when it was late at night, Hakkai could feel her. A palm across his cheek, fingers in his hair, and if he was particularly still, a tickle of hair across his collarbone.
Sometimes, when he was sitting in a bar, Gojyo could see her. A shrieking voice, sharp nails gouging his face, and if he was particularly unlucky, a trickle of tears down her cheek.
Sometimes, when it rained, Sanzo could sense him. A gentle chuckle, the drifting scent of pipe smoke, and if he was particularly haunted, warm blood seeping across his skin.
Sometimes, when he dreamed, Goku could almost remember him. A barking laugh, a playful tussle, and if he was particularly deep in sleep, a pair of glowing golden eyes.
Challenge #3: Things that go Bump in the night.
When one gets targeted by assassins on a regular basis, one develops certain instinctual reactions to specific circumstances.
So when a loud crashing and thumping woke Gojyo and Hakkai up, they leapt to their feet and summoned their weapon and chi without blinking. Sanzo and Goku burst through the door without knocking; Sanzo's gun raised, and Goku ready to spring.
The banging continued from the corner, as the men prepared for an attack.
More thumping. A muffled cry of despair.
And when everyone's eyes finally adjusted to the dark, poor Hakuryuu was finally freed from his prison of tangled blanket.
Challenge #4: Dirty Laundry.
Goku wasn't exactly clear on how he ended up as Sanzo's designated laundress. It was all quite hazy, and he had a suspicion that paper fans and empty promises of food were involved. In any event, whenever Sanzo deemed it necessary, poor Goku was forced to search out a large amount of water and soap, and scrub until he could scrub no more.
Sanzo was also very particular about the kind of soap. He had allergies, apparently.
So there the monkey was, washing someone else's clothing, when he found himself wondering how the hell one washed skin-tight black leather shirts.
Challenge #15: Monty Python
Goyjo had approached the demon knowing that the fight wouldn't last long. The black creature was over confidant, and clumsy in its movements. After only a few seconds, the half-breed had neatly sliced one of the rebel's arms clean off.
But the bastard refused to give up. Shouting something about having had worse, he charged again. Gojyo removed the other arm, smirking.
The then demon attempted to kick poor Gojyo in some very unpleasant places.
When Gojyo finally walked away from the fight, he could still here the armless, legless, and apparently senseless monster bellowing about biting his legs off.
A/N: Yes, these are crack-tastic for the most part. No, I don't live in a mental institution. Please review if you enjoyed!