And on we go!
*****
Gossamer Dreams
Part 17
*****
"I love you." His voice was raw, like the rest of him, collapsed on top of her, salty skin and sweat smelling thickly of his musk and the cologne he wore regularly. "So much." It was at moments like this when Kagura felt her throat close and her muscles clench, and she could not decide whether that ache in her chest was regret or shame or irritation with his attachment. Sir Kouga ka'Ookami had been only too easy to seduce, and his loyalty was utterly hers to command, but at the same time, she could recall the words Sesshoumaru and her had exchanged earlier that month.
"Kodoku has been inquiring about your new beau. You know he will tell your father everything."
I know. Only too well. If father realizes that we are subverting his attempts at a twisted heir-child, he will be most put out. He might kill Kouga. Or banish him, at the very least. He still has that power, no matter how Sesshoumaru and I pose and manipulate what we can grasp. She sighed softly, annoyed to see that she was glad of that weight against her chest, the pressure, and the feeling of him still inside her, both of them still coming down from the experience. Even more irritating was the fact that she was playing with his hair, and she did not want to stop, as she did not want him to stop placing lazy, sated kisses along her shoulder. One thing she could say for the young man, once he had become accustomed to his newfound role, he was certainly able to keep her satisfied, and then some. Of course, maybe that was the problem. It was the first time in her life when she had been able to view sex as something more than a dirty act of anger and pain and bitterness and violence, and it all seemed very odd to her that she was actually enjoying it. In her experience, only her father enjoyed it, and most likely, her aunt did as well. They were evil. So…did that make her evil? Kouga seemed to enjoy it, too, so perhaps the both of them were engaging in something altogether horrible, but that could not stop her from liking it. She felt vaguely guilty. Married, sleeping with another man…but then, she had her suspicions about Sesshoumaru and Rin, and while he vehemently denied her casual insinuations, she knew that they had private tea often enough these days. Actually, she thought they were a good match, despite the fact that he was her husband already. It would be perfectly acceptable for him to take on a concubine, I know. Even several, though I do not see him as the type to love more than one woman, or to treat affection casually.
"You're heavy." She spoke finally, and it hurt to say it, though it was half-true. He was heavy, all muscle and lean flesh toned from his typical young noble pursuits, fencing, horseback riding, and hunting. His flesh was warm at all times, hot and sweat-slick at times like these, and always firm, sun-dark, and just rough enough to send tingles through her entire being. His arms were easily twice as thick as hers, and while she felt she was rather toned for a noblewoman expected to get her main exercise from the practice of waving her fan on hot days, his lines and bulges were something that fascinated and strangely aroused her. It made her feel a bit frail, and slight, but that was somehow not a big bother for her, as he seemed to take as much pleasure in her form as she did in his. However large he was in comparison, though, she loved the feel of the weight and the heat on her and in her and around her, but she was irked by the thought of her dependence on this and on him, and how she now had to sneak out of her chambers in the dead of night to meet with him since Kodoku had grown so watchful. Of course, this new arrangement seemed exciting to Kouga, and annoyingly enough, to her as well. Something about meeting by chance in the corridors, and then ducking behind a pillar for stolen kisses and a promised rendezvous whispered in a heated rasp…slipping into a set of servants robes and hurrying toward his chambers with her face lowered to avoid being recognized by anyone she might run into, only to have him take those robes off of her in the most painstakingly slow fashion possible…all of it was very exhilarating to her. It made their trysts three times as pleasurable, especially since she had no need to keep her voice down, as no one would think twice of the charming young Lord meeting with some lady or other in private. As long as they did not know who that lady was, exactly, all was well.
"Sorry," he rolled off, and though he managed to sound natural enough, she detected injury in his tone. Of course. He declares his love, as he did most nights, it seemed, and she simply tells him to get off of her. She had never answered the way she supposed he expected, with a like declaration of affection. But she was always gentle enough with him. His loyalty and adoration were things that she held close and guarded jealously. "I had tea with my parents today." He told her.
"And how was that, then?" she felt a bit guilty about her thoughtless reply to his words, and she rolled up against him, kissing the side of his bare chest as he let his arm wrap around her, tracing slow circles over her back.
"They want me to hurry up and marry." He answered, and their was that note to his voice that told her she was expected to say something rather specific to this assertion, but what it was, she hadn't the slightest idea.
"And what do you say to that?" she asked. "You are young, but about the right age."
"I am not so young." He was always insulted when she brought up his age. "Barely below you."
"Right now," she smiled wickedly as she wrapped a leg around him and pulled herself into a straddle on top of him. "I believe you are most decidedly below me, Lord ka'Ookami." She accented the title with a grind of her hips, and was rather gratified at the noise he made, his hands finding their way up her legs, stroking a casual path from her hips to her breasts and back down. "And besides that, the question is not your age, whatever it might be. It is your feelings on the topic of marriage."
"I do not want to marry." He told her, his hips twisting in desperate arousal as she continued to tease him, grinding against him rhythmically enough to gain his interest, but not to allow him any sort of release.
"Why ever not, my young lord? All the fashionable young nobles are doing it, you know." She giggled slightly, letting the sound fall off into a sort of purr as he decided to focus his attentions on her chest. "If you do not marry, how do you intend to produce an heir for your family to spoil just as you have been spoiled?"
"I would rather have a hundred heirs I can never hope to claim with you, than one borne of another woman." He spoke the words softly, with obvious sincerity. "I do not wish to marry because I cannot have the only one I want."
Kagura froze momentarily, but she caught herself and continued moving, covering the slip with a wide smile. "That is a silly thing to say, Kouga." She told him. "You have me right now, and you can marry any young lady you please. I know you have had your eye on the young Lady ka'Neko for some time."
"That was nothing. I liked her, and found her endearing, but it was nothing to this, Kagura." Whenever he spoke her name, he managed to make it sound like the most delectable sound ever created by a mouth struggling to communicate. "I love you. I've told you a hundred times."
"Kouga." She really stopped this time, shifting to lie on top of him with her face very near his. "Please, do not be difficult. Do you really think we can continue on like this forever?"
"I do not want to marry." He reiterated, his face stuck in a pout that she somehow could not help but find heartrending even now. "Unless it is to you. I cannot have you that way, and so I will have you this way."
"If you do not grow up, young man," she emphasized the word young, and it clearly hurt Kouga, but she could not be bothered with that now. He was deliberately confusing her emotions, something she hated. "You will not have me any way at all, except for in your dreams."
"Even if you hate me and scorn me and leave me to be alone, I will never love another." He told her, his voice shaking with the strength of his conviction. "Do not call me young, and do not doubt my affections as genuine, for you clearly know nothing of what I feel. To you, this is only a game, but it is my heart, Kagura."
"You are such a woman, at times, Kouga." She rolled off of him, turning to grab her negligee from the floor beside the bed. This was clearly a waste of her time. "No wonder I am still without child." As soon as the words left her lips, she regretted them, her entire body froze, and she had a sudden mental image of Kouga slapping her senseless, as her own father had done only too many times. However, he was so silent and motionless in that moment that she could barely hear his breath.
"So." He spoke finally, and the pain was so thick in his tone that she hurt with the weight of it. "Not only am I young and stupid and foolish, I am also completely without masculinity? It is nice to finally know how you feel about me, Kagura. All those nights, I confessed my feelings to you, and you were only wondering how such a woman managed to have at least semi-functional male parts. I do not wish to marry, but you do not wish to spend more time with me than what is necessary to grant you your wish of an heir. And might I ask, while we are at it, being honest and all, why is it that the much lauded Emperor cannot grant you this one thing, my Lady? Is he, perhaps, otherwise inclined? Do you not please him just as I do not please you?"
"Kouga!" she never raised her voice at him in anger, but this time, it was too much. "Stop. Stop right now. I did not mean it, and I am sorry, but that gives you no right to…to…you cannot understand what the situation between Sesshoumaru and I truly is."
"I have heard that he does not take pleasure in women. Is that true?" he asked again, clearly caring nothing for her apology. She turned, slapping him sharply.
"Do not go rumor-mongering, Kouga. You are too good for it, and I will not have it from you again." She felt foolish again at her words. They said too much, but they did stop Kouga's sudden anger he sat back, clearly unconcerned with the sharp red welt she had left on his right cheek.
"Kagura, I am sorry for that." He told her sheepishly. "I just have a hard time controlling myself when I think that perhaps you think so little of me."
"Kouga, if I thought so little of you, I would not be here with you now." She tried to sound scolding, but she only came across as slightly plaintive. "I would not want the child of a foolish thing who was nothing more than a child himself." Kouga leaned forward then, pulling her back onto the bed and kissing her thoroughly. She decided that even if he took her words to mean so much deeper feelings toward him, that was all well and good. After all, it all felt so lovely, why fight it? Even if it was evil, which she had doubted for some time now, it was the best thing she had, and she cherished it secretly and deeply.
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The news was the happiest, and so the banquet that spring evening was especially splendid for most of those present. Dancing and drinking and merry-making were rampant, and there seemed to be no limit of smiling and boisterous story-telling by those who had made a bit too merry, perhaps. True, the Imperial Palace was a place of intrigues and betrayals and plots within plots and all of that, but at it's very basic, it was a strangely knit family, and they were all very dependent on those two figureheads sitting at the high table every night, and when it was spoken to all of them that the Empress was at long last pregnant, they were assured that their family would not suffer any great confusion in the years to come, and to all those involved, that was very happy news indeed.
However, Kagome ka'Neko, one of the Empress' Maidens, had noted that one soul in particular seemed not to think the incumbent arrival of a cute baby was such very happy news at all. At least, if one was to take any meaning from his surly frown and sulking posture and tone, one would derive that he was not in a very good mood, despite the happiness of the evening. Kagome had no reason to think that he might actually be depressed by the news, since who in their right mind would dislike the idea of a perfectly adorable heir being on it's way to the world? Clearly, no one in their right mind. And while she did not feel as though she was a paradigm of political knowledge, she did realize that the ka'Ookami family had been doing better than ever lately, and they were certainly rising in court rank at an admirable rate. Well, that was to say, Kouga had reached a rank almost equal to his own father, something that had surprised and pleased his family greatly over the past months. And it had only increased the pressure she was receiving from her aunts in the city, who were currently running the ka'Neko household in the upset after her grandmother had died and no male heir of feasible age could be decided upon. She needed to accept his suit, and to encourage it, as it had been failing in enthusiasm for the past three months. In fact, truth be told, ever since he had been shooting up in rank, Kouga had seemingly forgotten about the blue eyed ka'Neko maiden. Now, of course, his slightly irritating cousin, another Maiden by the name of Ayame ka'Ookami, had volunteered the idea that he had found someone else who was more accepting and more suitable to his desires. She meant herself, and while Kagome had tried on several occasions to explain to the orange-haired Youkai that Kouga did not seem interested in courting his cousin, however distantly their relation might be. However, she had never found Ayame's observations more irritating than in this instance, when she most needed Kouga's suit to save her from the only other option she could see for herself.
The pretty young Maiden had been the talk of the court when she first arrived, but interest died off rather quickly when she inadvertently gained the attention of none other than the High Lord Naraku, uncle to the Emperor, and definitely old enough to be Kagome's own father. She found his suit to be, frankly, rather disgusting. Ignoring the age issue entirely, Lord Naraku had a horrid habit of saying the most disgusting things possible while leading a terrified young Maiden across the dance floor. If he thought that his description of what he had done with a pair of concubines only the night before would intrigue her or pique her interest, he was completely mistaken. By the time Kagome learned to avoid the greasy smile and the honeyed words, the other nobles had all turned from her, since they were horrified of incurring his wrath due to jealousy. All except the earnestly endearing Kouga ka'Ookami, who seemed either oblivious to the dangers in pursuing her, or completely without care for Naraku's disapproval.
Now, of course, she had decided that her only real choice was to hurry up and have the young Lord ka'Ookami propose to her so that her aunts could stop bickering about money and falling ranks and such and name him head of the family, and have him take on their name, and that would be that. Problems, within the court and within their ledger, would be solved, and Kagome would be able to feel as though she had not utterly failed her family. Her grandmother had maintained the rank after her grandfather's death through shear force of will, but the aunts were too busy fighting over every scrap to keep them in a dignified and marriageable position, much to Kagome's dismay. She did not particularly relish the idea of marrying herself off, but if it was for the good of her family, it seemed a simple enough task. And so, she had engineered things lately so that she might sit very near Kouga ka'Ookami during functions, and thereby remind him of his seemingly waning affection for her, but so far, it had not seemed to work. She had never seen a young noble who liked dancing less. While everyone else was currently pairing off, only a very few still eating and drinking at their tables, Kouga sat sullenly staring out into space, in the direction of the head table, where the beautiful, glowing young Empress was taking the first dance with her equally beautiful husband. She would be passed around all night if the nobles had their way, but she was in a delicate condition, so of course, the Emperor would have them leave very soon, she was sure. Of course, Kouga was well known to be close friends with the Empress, so perhaps he was concerned about the strain she was in at the moment. That would explain his sour mood.
"The young Lady ka'Neko, at my disposal, I presume?" the voice sent Kagome's hopes that Kouga might glance her way plummeting, and she nearly vomited at the smile he offered as he pulled her out to the dance floor. Of course, she was a perfect lady, as her grandmother had been sure of, and so when she nearly vomited, she only looked vaguely distressed, as though perhaps confused as toward what was going on about her at the moment. Then they were dancing, and Kagome let herself pretend she was miles away, in her family's country estate, riding a horse across the hillsides, instead of putting up with possibly the lowest form of life ever to grace the Fukumadenian royal court. The Emperor's uncle…Kagome failed to see any resemblance. "Ah, my dear child, Kagome, time spent with you is truly a pleasure." He was talking to her now, something she dreaded more than all else. His words were invariably…suggestive. And so, she filled the conversation with her own words as often as possible so that he would be allowed to say less.
"I am glad that you enjoy my company, Lord Naraku, but as you might not have noticed, I was keeping the Lord ka'Ookami company, as he has been feeling low all evening." She came up with whatever she could think to say. "He is close friends with the Empress, and he is worried that she might strain herself at this function, thus causing her child some injury. It is very noble of him, do you not think?"
"My daughter holds up very well to abuse, I assure you." Naraku winked at her, and she was not sure which of the twenty different interpretations immediately flooding her mind was worst. "She has long wanted this child more than all else, and she will do everything in her power to protect it, without the help of the young Lord ka'Ookami."
Kagome was well aware that she was making a face that was similar to the expression created by swallowing a lemon, but she could hardly care what Naraku might think. If he found her unsavory, all the better for her. Why she even bothered with propriety with him was beyond her. She supposed it was for her grandmother's sake, in the end. And that was when something extraordinary happened. Kagome was just thinking how she wished more than anything else that some kind soul would save her from this torture, and just then, none other than the Prince Inuyasha stepped up to the pair and most expertly cut in. Naraku glared at his nephew in clear dislike, but there was really no polite way to refuse the Prince his dance, and so, Kagome was handed over.
She had never danced with Prince Inuyasha before, as she noted that he rarely danced with anyone at all, except for the occasional turn with the Empress, his sister-in-law. Most people avoided talking to him or about him, as it was a matter of contention between the Empress Mother, who despised him, and the Emperor, who clearly cared for his brother a great deal. Either side could invoke the wrath of the other, and so Inuyasha sat, night after night, surly, and alone but for his brother and the older man's wife. She had never noticed that up close, Inuyasha really did look a good deal like his brother, but with more decidedly masculine features. Same golden eyes and silver hair, same slightly annoyed expression, as if he could not be bothered with the world, or was just thinking of where else he would rather be. He was shorter, of course, that Kagome had noticed on her own before this, since he always was at his brother's side, but he was still easily taller than her. Actually, he was about Kouga's height, and they seemed to have a similar build. But the most fascinating thing were his ears. Everyone had seen them, but few had been close enough to have a really good look. Kagome was getting that look at this moment. They did look a bit like dog ears, but were short and pointy enough to resemble cat ears as well. They were covered with a soft-looking fuzz of fur the same color as the rest of his hair, and they twitched infinitesimally at the sounds surrounding them.
They were utterly adorable.
"Was he bothering you?" the question caught Kagome off guard, and she nearly choked on her reply.
"The…Lord Naraku, you mean?" she immediately went into Proper Lady mode. "Not at all, I am sure that he was perfectly good company, although I am pleased to be able to dance with a new partner once in a while, my Prince."
"So he was bothering you, then." He chuckled, and Kagome felt her eyes bulge in surprise. "I can translate the truth when you feed me that bunch of drivel, so don't try to hide behind propriety and etiquette. I have not lived my whole life in the Palace and learned nothing."
"I…I am sorry. I just…I was taught that whatever one thinks privately, there is no reason to publicly criticize a gentleman." Kagome explained, flushing at being caught out so expertly.
"Then there is no problem. If ever there was someone who did not qualify as gentle, it is Naraku." Inuyasha told her, laughing again as her eyes bulged further in shock. "Am I scandalizing you?"
"No…I just…you speak so frankly!" she giggled nervously. "I never knew the court contained such honesty."
"All dances and postures, I know." Inuyasha nodded slightly. "I understand what you mean. I apologize for not saving you before, however. I have noticed you, but you did not seem to mind Naraku's attentions, and so I saved my efforts for elsewhere. But the face you made tonight was clear enough to me, so here I am."
"A regular shining hero." She smiled softly. "Do you read fairy tales?"
"All kinds." He nodded enthusiastically. "My…friend loves them very much, and we read them together endlessly. I have hundreds memorized, it seems, but I was recounting one for the Empress and the Emperor the other day and I seemed to forget some of the details, which was rather aggravating."
"My favorite is the story about the young girl who is saved from poverty and the cruelty of her stepfamily by a prince with a glass slipper. Do you know it?" Kagome found she was actually enjoying herself. This conversation was as far from proper court etiquette as most things could get, but in a very pleasant way, unlike with Naraku.
"Oh, yes." He nodded again. "That is a very good story. Oh! I almost forgot, so caught in being the hero and all…" Inuyasha shook his head as though a bit embarrassed. "I am the Crown Prince Inuyasha, at your service."
"Ah, yes, proper introductions as though I do not know your name." She smiled and bowed her head slightly. "I am Kagome ka'Neko, Maiden of the Empress."
"I know your name as well, I must admit." He told her, and she actually blinked in surprise. "I made a point of learning it when I first saw you. You see…my friend looks very much like you, and at first, I thought it was her, but your eyes and ears are a bit different, I admit."
"Really? Who is your friend that resembles me so closely?" Kagome wanted to know.
"She…no one you would know." Inuyasha seemed to clam up. "I must bid you goodnight, now, Lady ka'Neko. It was a pleasure meeting you."
"It was a pleasure meeting you, as well." She answered automatically, still feeling put out as he fled the scene. It might be wise to call it an early evening, she decided. Kouga was nowhere to be seen, and Naraku was leering at her from the head table. With that thought, she left.
*****
The End (Of Part 17, That Is)