Disclaimer: I don't own RE4,or Gilligan's Island or the band U2.

Luna: Yay! 150 reviews! Here's Chapter 24...

Chapter 24: Play Ground of HORRORS!

Leon entered the caves, following the signal from his tracking device. Until he found it, thrown on the floor.

" Wonder if Saddler found it and tried to led me into a trap…." said Leon, to no one in particular.

Flashback!

Saddler was leading Ashley through the caves, he was still hurting from Kat's degrading of him.

Ashley suddenly had control over her body again. Before screaming, kicking, or at least attempting to run away; she took a compact out of her skirt pocket. Don't ask where she got the compact from, if you the readers were equal in intellect with Leon; I'd say 'magic'. Or maybe the reason was that although Ashley didn't have any weapons or items of any kind, she always had an extra compact. Because she was dumb. And vain.

" Ewww!" said Ashley, looking at her reflection, " That red dot in my hair clashes with my complexion and skirt!"

She grabbed the tracking device out of her hair and threw it on the ground. Nice move.

" Let me see that!" shouted Saddler, grabbing the compact.

" I have to say, you have gotten a lot less menacing and scary," said Ashley, " You're more like a pathetic, washed up grandpa."

" Silence!" hollered Saddler, and threw her compact.

He could of swore he heard Kat's laughter mocking him in the distance.

Back to our cute but dumb agent….

Leon had nowhere else to go, so he went into a Jettison compartment. On the entrance was a large neon sign that said 'U3's play ground of HORRORS!' Interested that he might get to play on the swings and monkey bars, Leon moved forward; Striker in hand. To his dismay, he saw that the 'playground' was nothing more than a narrow room with shutters and flashing lights.

" Hey! That's cheap!" said Leon, " It said 'play ground'! Where's the swings? The slides? The monkey bars? The hobby horses?"

" Would it of made a difference if it had swings and stuff?" I asked.

"N-no!" said Leon, hastily.

Just then, he was ambushed by a…..thing. It had the body of a scorpion and a head if a creepy person with fangs and a extra long tongue.

" Are you U3?" asked Leon, shooting him, " You suck! Not a swing or slide…this isn't a playground…its…uh….DIE, INFECTED UMBRELLA SPAWN, DIE!"

I bet you are all very interested in where Hunnigan is. Yes, that's random. But then again, what isn't random in this fic?

Meanwhile…..

Since Hunnigan sunk the cruise, she had been swimming for hours. Finally, she found an island.

"Land!" screamed Hunnigan, and kissed the sand.

" Hey, you there!" said a man.

" People? Other people! I'm Hunnigan." she said, introducing herself.

"Hiya, Hunnigan," said the man, "I'm Gilligan."

"So how long have you been here?" asked Hunnigan.

" 7seasons and 1 movie ago," answered Gilligan, " Come on, I'll introduce you to the others!"

Gilligan led her to a fort made out of reeds, leaves and coconuts. People were gathered around it.

" That's the Skipper-"

The Skipper grunted in response.

" The movie star-"

She stuck up her nose.

" The millionaire-"

He was counting money.

" And his wife-"

Also counting money.

" The Professor. He likes making things out of coconuts."

He winks.

" And some girl named MaryAnn."

Hunnigan noticed the conveniently placed flare in the sand.

" Look! A flare!" said Hunnigan, " Now we can get off this island!"

" Nooo!" screamed Gilligan, and scooped up the flare, " We have to keep prolonging the end of the series for another 5 seasons and another movie!"

He threw it out to sea.

" He has some delusions that we're just characters in a old, 70's T.V show and if we signal for help and get off this island we'll disrupt the balance of the universe," said the Professor.

Hunnigan didn't answer. This man was worse than Leon. She got into fetal position.

A disembodied voice began singing:

Gilligan ,

The Skipper too,

The movie star,

The Millionaire

And his wife,

The professor,

Mary Ann,

And that-useless-girl-who-was-supposed-to-help-Leon Kennedy-but-gave-up-right-away-and-went-on-a-cruise-and:takes deeps breath: ended up here!

Back to Leon…..

Leon had just escaped the Jettison compartments, which fell down with U3 still in there.

"Do you think I'll go to jail for this?" asked Leon.

"Huh?" I asked.

" I just killed an entire band….."

" A….band? No….that's U2 not U3! And besides, the guys from U2 are old but they aren't that ugly….."

" I knew that!"

" Only you would confuse a band and an infected creepy thing…."

Leon made his way through the caves, until U3 suddenly jumped down on him. He ran, the ugly human/scorpion hybrid that is NOT a band, hot on his trail.

Leon shot a conveniently gasoline tank and U3 got toasty, but not by much.

So he shot him with his Striker 10 times.

" This is gonna be a long night….." said Leon.

30 shotgun shells, 12 black tail rounds, swearing, self pity and regret later…..

Finally, U3 died.

" Yay!" screamed Leon, and did his dance.

Luna: I never saw the show 'Gilligan's Island', I just knew the theme song and that it was on for 11 seasons….I think. And I hope that I haven't offended anyone with my U2 comment, cause they aren't that bad and I just like making fun of things! Next Chapter: Leon v.s Krauser.