Only a few people noticed him leaving and they also saw Mac following him outside.
"Harm," she asked out in the garden unable to tell where he had gone off to. He didn't answer her so she went around and by chance behind some bushes she found him sitting on a bench.
"Harm," she sat down beside him and put her hand on his arm. "Harm, you need to hear me out, you don't know what I meant by saying that."
"Mac, I'm sure you have your reasons. It's just... everything's too much for me right now." She could see how his shoulders were starting to shake and a little tear was gathering and becoming larger in the corner of his eye.
"I know it is, Harm," Mac said and carefully put her arms around him and held him close to her. At first he was tense, but soon he was relaxing into her embrace. He was still upset about what she had said, but it simply felt too good to have her arms around him to be able to keep up a tough façade. "Harm the reason why I said that is that... Jack and I are getting a divorce and... I guess I always had this dream that if you had come back from the Patrick-Henry we would have talked, worked things out between us and it would have been us forever. I didn't always believe this, but it's what I wished for. I'm sorry for saying that in there, it was a really stupid way to say it, I realize that."
Soon they were sitting there together completely quiet looking out on the trees, bushes and other benches of the little park. Mac had let go of Harm when she felt that he had really understood that she hadn't meant what he had thought she said.
"So how come you and Jack? I mean I never sensed anything between you," Harm finally asked.
"When Jack moved to Washington, we saw each other a lot. Mostly because of Sturgis I guess. Jack was fun, he made me enjoy things that I hadn't for a long time. And he adored Belle right from the start. We started seeing each other more and we fell in love. We should have waited with getting married though," Mac offered Harm a half-smile. "We started having problems just a year into the marriage," she explained.
"I'm sorry, Mac. I really am. Have you told anyone about the divorce yet?"
"No, I think Sturgis must know in a way. He knows that we've been to counseling and I guess he must have figured it out by now that it hasn't gone very well. It's going to be hard to tell people about it. Especially Belle."
"It will be OK, Mac. I'm sure."
"We have a meeting with our lawyers tomorrow to work out everything with the divorce and all. We plan on telling Belle about it afterwards. Jack has gotten one of those furnished apartments ..."
They were both looking out on the park, but from time to time they would look to their side and once or twice their eyes met.
"Have you thought about what part you want to take in Belle's life?" Mac asked him
Harm didn't say anything, just kept on looking at the big oak tree right in front of him.
"I'm sorry. I know it's still too early. I shouldn't have asked, I'm just so worried about everything that's going on. Everything is changing for Isabelle ... and for me too I guess. All I can do is stand here and watch it happen."
"Mac, it's just... I never thought I'd be in this situation. I thought that if I had children I would be there from the start. I don't have a plan for this," he paused "I mean I want to get to know her, I want to be a part of her life like a father should, but I'm not sure if that's what's really best for her. Maybe it's something I just want for me, she already seems to have all the people she needs in her life, I'm not sure she needs me."
"Of course she does. And... and I need you. I don't want to be a single parent anymore. Jack has always helped me with Belle, more then he had to and I've had your mother, Sturgis and all of our friends have always helped more then... more then I ever thought was possible, but in the end I was the only one responsible for her happiness, for her life. No one could help me with that. No one except for you, Harm," Mac looked at him trying to read his mind "But most of all your daughter needs you, because no one, not Jack and no one else, has been able to take your place in her life."
Harm looked at her in relief. To some it might have seemed rather selfish for Mac to talk about her and her daughter's needs from a man just released from 8 years in captivity, but this was really was Harm needed to hear. He needed to know that he was needed.
"I want to be her father, I want to be her dad," he said after a few seconds of silence.
"I'm glad you do," Mac said and smiled at him. At the same time they both remembered that they had been gone for a while now and people were probably starting to wonder where Harm was. They got up from the bench and walked back to the reception hall of the hotel.
"Is everything OK? I started wondering where you'd gone off to," Trish came up to them when they stepped into the room.
"Everything's OK. We just had some things to talk about," Harm explained. Mac excused herself to go to the bathroom and Harm and Trish remained standing together.
"Every time I see you again, I'm so surprised that you're here. I just can't believe it," Trish said emotionally.
"I am here, Mom," Harm said and mother and son embraced.
"I know and I'm so glad you are."
Mac had returned to the room and gone to say hello to Frank, who she hadn't seen until then.
"She's quite a girl, Mac," Trish said.
"Yes, she is," Harm agreed.
"I'm so amazed with her for how she's been able to take care of Isabelle, stay in the Marine Corps... and found a way to be happy again. I wish I had gotten to know her even before... before you were gone. She's the daughter I never had."
"Mac has told me how much you've meant to her these last years, how you supported her right from the start. I'm very grateful to you for that."
"You know I really didn't do it for you. I did it for my granddaughter."
"And I'm even more grateful because of that."
Trish nodded and smiled. Harm started to walk off, but Trish stopped him.
"Harm," she waited until he was standing before her "I know that this might not be the right time or place, but... What really happened between you and Mac? From what I know you weren't seeing each other, but you made Isabelle and I know Mac loved you. That became very obvious when you were lost. I thought you loved her too, or at least respected her enough as a friend not to have a one-night-stand with her."
"I didn't want it to become a... a one-night-stand, but... Neither one of us were ready to talk about us yet, not even after that had happened, but I hope that if I had come back from the Patrick Henry, back then... then we would have worked things out between us eventually and I think Mac believes that too now."
Trish nodded again.
"Let's go and get something to eat," Trish suggested and they walked off to the table with food and beverages.
The rest of the evening Harm spent talking to an incredible amount of people. He had no idea that he knew that many people. At the end of the evening he was completely exhausted from meeting and talking to so many people, yet he felt like he hadn't talked enough to the people that really mattered the most.
TBC