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Entry two of Varney's journal is now up.
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Friday May 23, 2003
My foot is itchy, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. It's been itching for about an hour now, and it's making it difficult to write steadily. That and the horrendous noise of a goat sacrifice next door. I should really go over there sometime and just smack those kids upside the head. Worshipping the devil, hah! Next thing they'll start believing in vampires. And those don't exist. I hope.
I was attacked by an obese Chihuahua today when I went outside to water the perennials. It was fat and greasy. It kept barking at me, and it appeared to be foaming. I tried to explain calmly to it that I do not have any tacos to spare, but it appeared not to understand. I turned to back away, but instead I snagged my cloak on a rose bush and my cape on the fence. The Chihuahua commenced to attack me until I melted it with my heat powers. Or at least singed it. Well, ok, so it's true, my heat powers didn't actually work, so I began to blow in its face rapidly. Needless to say I was soon out of breath and quite dizzy, and the Chihuahua was little more than annoyed. The fat pig flew out and bit me until it was satisfied, whizzed in my flowers, and was gone.
It was about this time that the goat sacrifice next store began and.holy monkey! Who was that? Someone I appear to know just walked into that house with the goat.by the way, it's the same goat that was feasting upon my perennials before they were whizzed upon by the vicious dog. My poor perennials. Wait.there he was again. Ruthven is worshipping the devil? Or was that.no it' s just some guy with a cloak. Ok. False alarm. Why is there a fire truck in my driveway? Who in the hell said they could park there? I really need to move. But then I would have to rewire my new house to accommodate my dentist chair. And my duck. Not that I have to rewire my duck, but never mind.
I wish I were a drag queen.
*~* Review please, it's good for your soul. *~*
Friday May 23, 2003
My foot is itchy, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. It's been itching for about an hour now, and it's making it difficult to write steadily. That and the horrendous noise of a goat sacrifice next door. I should really go over there sometime and just smack those kids upside the head. Worshipping the devil, hah! Next thing they'll start believing in vampires. And those don't exist. I hope.
I was attacked by an obese Chihuahua today when I went outside to water the perennials. It was fat and greasy. It kept barking at me, and it appeared to be foaming. I tried to explain calmly to it that I do not have any tacos to spare, but it appeared not to understand. I turned to back away, but instead I snagged my cloak on a rose bush and my cape on the fence. The Chihuahua commenced to attack me until I melted it with my heat powers. Or at least singed it. Well, ok, so it's true, my heat powers didn't actually work, so I began to blow in its face rapidly. Needless to say I was soon out of breath and quite dizzy, and the Chihuahua was little more than annoyed. The fat pig flew out and bit me until it was satisfied, whizzed in my flowers, and was gone.
It was about this time that the goat sacrifice next store began and.holy monkey! Who was that? Someone I appear to know just walked into that house with the goat.by the way, it's the same goat that was feasting upon my perennials before they were whizzed upon by the vicious dog. My poor perennials. Wait.there he was again. Ruthven is worshipping the devil? Or was that.no it' s just some guy with a cloak. Ok. False alarm. Why is there a fire truck in my driveway? Who in the hell said they could park there? I really need to move. But then I would have to rewire my new house to accommodate my dentist chair. And my duck. Not that I have to rewire my duck, but never mind.
I wish I were a drag queen.
*~* Review please, it's good for your soul. *~*