Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. Well, one of them. But none of the good ones.
"Whoa, look at that!" yelled Lance Alvers as he and his on-again off-again girlfriend Kitty Pryde drove his decrepit jeep to the mall.
"What?"
"That car! It's a brand-new Cobra! They only make them in Vegas. Man, that is so cool! Do you have any idea how much those things cost?"
"Like, I'm sure you do." Kitty sighed and glanced at the vomit-yellow car ahead of them as they approached it. It didn't look that cool to her…
At that moment, two men who'd been hanging about nonchalantly nearby ran to the Cobra, which had stopped at the intersection, and shoved a gun into the face of the startled driver. One guy ran around to the passenger side and jumped in, the gunman opened the driver's door, yanked out the driver and took his place behind the wheel. They narrowly missed hitting the man in the road as they did a U-turn and drove off past the jeep.
"Hey, they stole my idea!" Lance did a U-turn of his own and sped after the Cobra. There just happened to be a convenient pile of rocks atop a hill beside the road ahead and Lance caused a handy rockslide, which forced the Cobra to a halt.
The jeep screeched to a stop behind the other car and the pair exited, Kitty grabbing Lance's hand as they walked toward the Cobra. The gunman opened fire and the bullets passed harmlessly through them as Kitty phased, instead hitting the jeep and causing expensive damage.
Lance glanced at his ride and lost his temper. "First you steal the car that I was gonna steal…"
"Lance!"
"…I mean, was gonna get a job and save up enough money to buy – and then you kill my wheels!"
"AAARRGHH! Car-jacking ghosts!" The men fled, leaving the Cobra behind.
The owner of the Cobra ran up to them, a man of about 40, slightly overweight, red-faced and out of breath. "You kids are mutants?"
"Like, what gave it away?" asked Kitty sarcastically. "The avalanche or the phasing?"
"Actually, it was your bumper sticker, 'mutants do it in spandex' – but that's great! You saved my beautiful and extremely expensive new car!"
"Uh, yeah, I guess we did," said Kitty.
"I think I'm in a position to reward you kids. I'm Phinneus Smash and I'm a mutant too. I'm a precognitive."
"Are you sure?" Lance gave Smash a doubtful look. "Because you sure didn't see that car-jacking coming."
"I see things in terms of mathematical probability boy. Lousy fortune teller, great gambler. Won all my money in games of chance in Vegas. Now I own a penthouse, hotels, casinos, a private jet, you name it."
"You're rich?" Lance felt his spirits rising. "Wait, you mentioned a reward?"
"Hell yes son! I'd like to treat you and your lady to a weekend away on me, in one of my hotels. Normally eight grand a night, but for you it's free! And you'll gamble free, eat free, drink free – everything's free!"
"We're there!"
"I can't," pouted Kitty. "The Professor would never let me go on my own and certainly not with you!"
"Well, I'll tell you what girly." Smash tapped his chin with his forefinger, thinking. "The top floor of one of my best hotels was reserved for a millionaires conference and paid for in full, but it was mysteriously cancelled just this morning. Why don't you both bring along some friends and a chaperone, make a party out of it?"
"I don't know Lance," said Kitty. "The X-Men and the Brotherhood in a luxury hotel together?"
"Oh come on Kitty," said Lance. "You need to nurture your evil side. What better way than this?"
"Maybe you're right!"
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At The Institute…
The Professor smiled at Kitty as he put the phone down. "I've spoken to Mr Smash and I'm quite willing to let you all go on this trip if you have a chaperone. Logan, Ororo, you two will be in charge of the students for the weekend."
"ME!?" Logan shook his head. "That's not a good idea…"
Professor Xavier did The Eyebrow and Logan sighed. The Eyebrow won all arguments, like a bald version of the Crippler Crossface. "Fine. I'll go."
"Ooh, I've always wanted to wear sequins at lunchtime!" Ororo hurried away to start packing and Logan watched her go, suddenly very afraid.
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At The Brotherhood House…
"Guys, we're going to Vegas. Get packed."
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That Friday, a private jet arrived at the Bayville Airport to pick up the teens. The X-Men and the Brotherhood were most impressed by the leather seats and DVD player. Logan and Storm were more impressed by the mini-bar. Scott and Jean somehow found themselves invited to the adults' party, which got rowdier and louder as they closed in on Las Vegas airport.
"Sho I shaid to that Shabretooth, I shaid, 'Creed, ya shoulda found yourself a diff'rent litter box!' Then I gave him a punsh, like that!" Logan accidentally sliced the table in half, scattering drinks across the floor.
"Logan, you're soooo tough," said Storm, giving him a flirtatious look.
"Shorry 'bout the table bub."
Phinneus Smash shrugged. "No problem, it's easily replaced."
Rogue rolled her eyes as she witnessed the scene before turning back to Remy. "So, why you sitting up here instead of where the booze is?"
The Cajun looked up from where he was teaching Jamie, Bobby, Ray and Roberto how to play poker. "Remy t'ink he save himself for the casino. Besides, the view's better from here." He winked at Rogue before revealing his cards to the others. They all groaned in defeat.
On the other side of the plane, the Brotherhood (with the exception of Lance) were also watching the adults. "Man, they are going to wreck the whole weekend," muttered Pietro.
"If they keep drinking like that, they'll be unconscious all weekend yo." Toad glanced over at his beloved. "Isn't that right cuddlebumps?"
Wanda didn't even scowl at him, instead staring into space with a dreamy smile playing at her lips.
Pietro grinned. "When we were kids, Wanda had a thing for Elvis!"
Refocusing on the conversation, Wanda glared at her brother. "I did not! I just mentioned once that he wasn't too bad looking when he was young! Besides, I was six!"
"She was convinced he was alive," continued Pietro. "She used to say he'd been kidnapped and replaced my an evil alien clone…" He dived for cover as Wanda's hands began to glow blue.
"My momma used to say I looked like Elvis," said Toad hopefully.
"In the dark perhaps," laughed Fred. "To a blind psycho!"
The pilot announced that they were approaching the airport just as Lance staggered back to his seat, still looking queasy. Everyone strapped themselves into their seats.
"Wow look!" shouted Jamie. "There's a roller coaster on the top of that building!"
"Well boy, you're going to like where you're staying," Smash told him. "The place next door has an indoor amusement park. I hired it out for tomorrow. You'll have it all to yourselves!"
All of the New Mutants went into paroxysms of delight.
The plane landed and everyone disembarked. Rogue looked over to where Logan and Ororo were leaning on each other and trying not to stagger. "Man, they're wasted!"
"Oui," replied Gambit seriously. "Anyone would t'ink they'd been drinking Remy's special home-made super-strong brew instead o' dat expensive stuff."
"Remy, please tell me you didn't." Rogue looked into his too-innocent face and groaned. "Why? Logan'll be pissed!"
"Wit' dem outta de way, de rest of us can enjoy de sights. Remy teach his chere how to gamble."
"Ah hate to burst your bubble Cajun, but there's no casino in Vegas that'll let in any of us except you and Pyro."
"Remy know dat. Unless…" He put his hand into one of the many pockets of his trench coat and pulled out a watch. No, not a watch. An image inducer.
"The Professor is gonna kill us," muttered Rogue. "And the others won't like it one bit."
"Sure dey will. Remy stole enough for everyone!"
"Oh god…" Rogue looked over to the plane where Blob was getting off with an unconscious Pyro over his shoulder. "And another thing. You and Pyro were having a conversation a half hour before we took off and suddenly he's out for the count!"
"You t'ink it's a good idea to fly all de way to Las Vegas wit' dat maniac? Remy not stupid chere. He be fine in an hour."
"So you've stolen from the Prof, got our instructors drunk and sedated a pyromaniac who writes romance in his spare time just so two groups of underage mutants can go gambling? Oh man, we're gonna die."
"But we go out in style non?" Remy indicated to four limos waiting to pick them up. "Dis guy, he want to thank Lance and Kitty by showing off his money. Remy let him pick up the tab and have a good time while he does it!"
Rogue sighed. "We are in so much trouble."