Thanks to:

TheDreamerLady – Lance had better not get dumped any time soon or else he really is screwed lol. Glad the Romy wasn't too sappy!

Todd Fan – Mmmm…Remy in tight jeans…uh, yeah, uh, glad you liked it!

Rogue14 – I don't think Logan could get a tattoo coz the healing factor would push out the ink or something but it'd be funny to see him keep trying! And Remy dies deserve it, lol.

LadyEvils – Could you stay mad at that face? And those eyes? And the lovely tight jeans… :goes into rabid drooling fangirl mode:

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this chapter. If anyone would like to gift me with Pietro…

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Pietro climbed out of bed and yanked on his jeans, wondering how to get rid of last night's bimbo. She'd come on to him from the moment he walked into the strip club, confiding in him it was her first shift and giving him a free lap dance. She'd seemed comfortable enough swinging around a pole first shift or not and she'd asked to come back to his hotel afterwards. He'd drunk a lot of complimentary champagne and the journey home was a bit of a blur bit what had happened on their return was perfectly clear. She was pretty enough, tanned and blonde and not much older than he was but now he wanted her gone. Small talk the morning after was not much fun and he wanted to take his winnings shopping before they had to get back on the plane and go home to boring Bayville.

He went back to the bed and shook the sleeping woman. "Hey, uh…" Shit, what's her name again? "…It's time I went to get my plane."

She opened her eyes and blinked up at him. "Don't you mean it's time that we went to get our plane?"

"What are you talking about?"

In response she held up her left hand. A shiny ring was placed on her third finger and Pietro backed away from the bed in a hurry. "Uh-uh, no way. I was not that drunk!"

"Are you sure you're not missing the journey home?"

"Well yeah, but…wait, how did you know?"

"I've got a friend who's a telepath. She, uh, talked you into it. Look, the photos are on the dresser."

Fighting panic, Pietro sped to the dresser and shuffled quickly through the stack of photos. There he was in front of what looked like…

"An alien? I got married by an alien? I refuse to believe that extra-terrestrials can get a licence to wed, even in Vegas!"

"He's only dressed as an alien, silly-Billy. It was the nearest place open and we got free ET badges!"

Pietro returned his attention to the pictures. There he was in front of an alien with a dog collar on with a girl whose name he couldn't recall, a goofy grin on his face. The girl was wearing a white bikini, spiked sandals and a veil. He'd found a bow tie from somewhere but lost his shirt.

"You brainwashed a total stranger into marrying you?" Fighting his panic was a losing battle. "Why? I don't even remember your name!"

"That's OK. I didn't tell you my real name anyway," she replied calmly. "I did it because the first time I saw you, back in Bayville, I wanted you and I knew you wouldn't go near me so when I heard about your trip to Vegas I got a plane. I overheard you planning to go to the club and got my friend to make the manager think I was one of the dancers."

"But…I would have seen you before if you're from Bayville! Who are you?"

"Well…" The girl smiled and began to change, her skin turning blue and the blonde hair going red. Pietro took one look, shrieked like a girl and fled the room. A moment later he was stood outside Wanda's room, hammering at the door.

"Wanda? Wanda? WAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Piss off Pietro!"

"Let me in! I need help!"

"You will if you don't go away!"

"Yeah, get lost yo!"

At the sound of Toad's voice coming through the door, Pietro let out another shriek and ran away again. He opted to disturb Lance instead and started pounding his door. "Hey Lance, it's the end of the world and everyone's gone insane! Lance! You there?"

There was no reply and Pietro went to Kitty's room and repeated the process. "Kitty! I need help! Tell Lance to get out here!"

"He can't," Kitty yelled back. "He's rubbing cream on my butt!"

"UURGHH!" Pietro ran in circles for a moment, wondering who else might be able to solve his problem.

One of the doors down the hall flew open and Tabby poked her head out. "Hey Speedy, keep the noise down!"

"Yeah," added Amara from beside her. "Some of us are tired!"

Pietro ran over to them. "You've gotta help me it's terrible it's…wait, isn't this Pyro's room?"

"Yeah, it is," growled St John from within. "Shut up and bugger off!"

"Bye-bye!" Tabby blew Pietro a kiss and slammed the door in his face.

"OK, nothing to worry about," muttered Pietro to himself. "I must have died and gone to hell. Yeah, that's logical. More logical than Pyro scoring with two X-chicks at once anyway."

Bamf!

"What's going on here?" asked Kurt sleepily, a towel wrapped hastily around his waist. He glanced over Pietro's shoulder and his eyes widened. "Mystique?"

Pietro spun around to see Mystique had followed him into the hall. "Hello son," she said to Kurt. "Nice to see you getting along with your new stepfather."

Kurt turned his attention back to Pietro. "My new what?"

Giving up, Pietro did the only thing left for him to do. He fainted.