AN: Hey all, I'm back for the weekend and that means you get a new part of the story. Thanks to everyone who are sending so very much appreciated words of encouragement. Thank you Cria for betaing the story!

Part 26

Harm knocked on the door and was surprised when Mac didn't immediately open. He knocked again and then heard someone coming running down the stairs and soon the door was opened. Mac was standing on the other side of it her hair wet and a towel wrapped around her body. She looked wonderful to him, but for some reason he doubted that this was how she planned to go out. By a reflex Harm looked down on his watch to check that he hadn't been too anxious and been there way too early, but his watch showed exactly seven o'clock.

"Harm, I'm so sorry. I drove Belle over to Sandra's house and Mrs. Jones just wouldn't let me leave. I couldn't exactly tell her I need to go, because I have a hot date," Mac sounded very stressed and was obviously feeling bad about being late. "And I just couldn't come up with another good excuse to leave."

"Wait a minute, Mac. I'm a hot date?" Harm asked her mischievously.

Mac looked at first a bit embarrassed, but then her expression changed to amused and she smiled at him in answer to his question.

"Go and get dressed and I'll wait right here," Harm told her reassuringly. "We still have plenty of time."

"I'll be right back," Mac said and rushed upstairs again.

Seven minutes later she returned downstairs fully dressed, her hair in order and a little bit of make-up on.

"Hey," Mac said and Harm looked up from the newspaper he'd been reading.

"That was fast," Harm said.

"I'm a Marine," Mac smiled.

"I know," Harm took in her whole appearance. She wore a pair of black trousers and a very nice red top with a black jacket over it. "You look great."

"Thank you," Mac said and smiled. "You're very handsome yourself. I think I might have forgotten to tell you before."

"Shall we?" Harm offered his arm to her.

"Yes."

The dinner at the restaurant was very nice and afterwards they took a walk looking on all of the lights and Christmas decorations. It was now the middle of December and Christmas was really all around. As a silent agreement, they hadn't talked at all about Isabelle. They wanted to make this just about them and therefore they had also decided to wait with telling everyone else about them. Even if they had chosen not to talk about Isabelle and also avoided talking about work, they still had plenty to talk about and for a few minutes they also enjoyed just sitting there in silence looking into each other's eyes.

They returned home to Mac's house and Mac invited him inside for a cup of coffee. So far the physical contact between them had only consisted of Mac taking his hand during the walk. Now they sat down beside each other on the couch with the coffee cups in their hands. For the first time this evening things were starting to feel a bit awkward for them and the silence that now filled the room was not the comfortable one.

"I had a really nice time tonight," Mac said just to say something.

"So did I."

Mac smiled at him and took a sip of the coffee. "I can't believe that we haven't done this earlier."

"I wish we could have told each other how we felt earlier, especially before that night."

"Yeah, I do too," Mac answered "I guess the only reason why it happen was that I had this idea or maybe fantasy that once it had, we were going to be able to talk about it and about our feelings, but in reality that didn't happen."

"You know, I felt something similar," Harm said and then turned to her putting down his cup on the table "Mac, please tell me the truth. All those years when I was away and you didn't know how I felt about you, did you feel like I had taken advantage of you that night? Were you mad at me?" he reached out to touch her hand in some hope that he then would force her to tell him the truth.

"No," Mac said forcefully "Never mad at you. But, well at some times it kind of felt like we had both taken advantage of each other but for different reasons," Mac said with regret in her voice. "But we were both adults and … free to do what we wanted I guess."

"That was never how I wanted us … our first time to be like."

"I know that now, Harm," Mac looked down and some strains of her hair fell down and covered her face to him "It was definitely not how I wanted it either," she told him and he moved his hand from hers and pulled the astray hairs away from her face.

"It's so strange I always thought you knew how much I loved you, that it was so obvious in the way I acted around you," he confessed "I was so surprised when Sturgis said that you never knew I loved you."

"You talked with Sturgis about me," Mac said surprised.

"Yeah, remember that night when we had dinner with Sturgis and Bobbie?"

"Harm, we have dinner with them twice every month," Mac protested.

"Yeah, but this was the very first time. Sturgis and I were in the kitchen preparing the dessert. We were talking and all of a sudden we saw you in the doorway. I thought you had heard it."

"Heard what?"

"Me telling Sturgis that I had been in love with you back then."

"I had no idea what you were talking about," Mac said suddenly remembering the moment "But it sounded personal and I just didn't want to impose on you, that's why I didn't go in there."

"I wanted to rush after you and talk to you, but Sturgis didn't think I should. He was afraid I'd hurt you."

"You would never hurt me."

"Not intentionally, but …"

"I wish you had told me," Mac said. She put her hand on his hand that was lying resting on his lap.

"No, it wasn't the right time. You were getting a divorce and … we still weren't ready."

"Do you think we're ready now?" Mac asked suddenly feeling very insecure.

"I think the fact that we've talked about it proves that we are."

"Harm, I do love you," Mac said like she wanted another proof of it and the fact that it came so easily and felt so comfortably to say did prove that to her.

"I love you too," Harm answered her and the words came just as easily for him. Mac started to close the distance between them and Harm wasn't late to follow.

"Do you think you would mind it very much if I kissed you right now?"

"Not at all," he said making a small pause between every word.

This time there were no interruptions. Once the physical contact was there any awkwardness they had felt earlier in the evening was completely gone. There was nothing to make it end with just one kiss.

Forty-five minutes later Mac released the contact between hers and Harm's lips, but the physical contact between their bodies was still intact. She looked straight into his eyes.

"Do you want us to slow down?" Harm asked her.

"No," Mac answered "Unless you?" Harm shook his head "Then maybe we could …" she searched for the words "… go somewhere we can be more comfortable?"

At that Harm nodded and together they got up from the living room couch and walked upstairs.

"You are so beautiful, Mac," Harm whispered to Mac as they much later lay on the bed snuggled together.

"You make me feel that way," the smile on her face grew even brighter.

Harm felt Mac shiver. "Are you cold?"

"A bit," Mac answered. Harm pulled her closer to his body and made sure the cover covered them up to her nose tip.

"Better?"

"Mm," Mac answered affirmative. "Will you stay here tonight?" she asked "You know, so I don't get cold ..."

"I'll stay. Wouldn't want you to get cold? I mean you could get sick and we wouldn't want that."

Harm could almost feel her smile against his chest where her head was resting.

"I feel so safe when you are here. Belle feels the same way," Mac admitted.

"I'm glad I get to be here."

"Me too," Mac said. She took a deep breath "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. You're the one who seemed so … prepared for this."

Mac just smiled. "Well, you know a couple of years ago I kind of missed with the whole protection-thing and I decided not to do it again."

Mac felt Harm tense up. "Harm, I'm not saying I regret that night or getting pregnant from it," she told him and decided to share some of the things she had realized about herself a few years ago "I'm a survivor," she started off by saying "I can't truthfully say that without you I couldn't survive, because it's what I do and who I am. But to actually live? There's a difference between surviving and living."

Harm nodded affirmative. He got that concept. Surviving was what he had done in Afghanistan not living.

"But because I was pregnant, because of Isabelle, just surviving wasn't enough, I had to really live for her sake. It's only because of her that I was able to move on, fall in love, get married and … be happy. Isabelle saved my life. Not the physical one, but the mental one. I don't think I would have been able to love you today, if it wasn't for her and what she made me do with my life when you weren't here. I've never ever regretted having her, but I also remember how scared I was when I found out about my pregnancy and the insecurities it brought with it because it was unplanned and I promised myself not to ever put myself in that position again, so I decided to always be prepared, just in case."

"I hope you already know that I don't see the fact that you moved on with your life when I was lost and you thought I was dead as a … rate of value of your feelings for me. Mac, you did such a wonderful job raising our daughter. I know you don't give yourself enough credit for it and I should remind you of that more often," he was softly playing with some strains of hair at the back of her head "And I've been meaning to thank you for everything you've done for me ever since I came back. You've helped me more than anyone else can understand."

"But Harm I haven't done anything. I mean I've been the one needing you, asking stuff of you and you've helped me more than anyone could ask with her and with a lot of other things that you definitely should not have had to do besides I think maybe I out too much of being a parent on you from the start. You hardly had any time to get used to the fact that you were a father before I asked you to make decisions about her life. Seriously Harm I haven't been helpful at all to you," Mac concluded.

"Mac," Harm protested "That's exactly what it was. You let me into your life again with open arms and you even let me into your home for months when I didn't have one. That time after I had just come back was so tough, I tried to hide exactly how tough though I think you saw through that, but I didn't have to go through it alone and that made it so much more bearable," he sighed and hugged her even closer to him. "You gave me an everyday life when I so desperately needed something to make my life about. You did ask things of me, but that was great because it meant that you didn't treat me as a …" he couldn't come up with a suitable word and just let it be "like pretty much everyone else did at first. They were so careful around me it did more harm than good. You always treated me as a normal, capable man and an equal and that helped me become the man I am again. And most of all you treated me as Belle's father right from the start and that … it made me see that I had a place here in your life and in her life."

"I don't know what to say," Mac said when Harm had stopped talking. She had never seen it like that.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to say thank you to you."

"I … I don't feel like I've done anything special at all, Harm," Mac explained to him how she felt. Even if what he said was true she hadn't done those things consciously though she of course had wanted to help him as much as she possibly could, and that made her feel rather uncomfortable about his thanks. "But it does … I appreciate you telling me. Thank you for … being you and being here," she leaned her face up and smiled at him with lots of appreciation in her eyes.

They lay silent for several minutes. Mac had almost fallen asleep when Harm started talking again.

"It still doesn't solve where we go from here?"

"No, but … Let's just take one day at a time. See each other as much as possible and we'll see what happens," she suggested.

"Do I sound very egoistic and self-serving if I hope that there will be many sleepovers for Isabelle in the close future?"

"No," Mac said feeling the same way "Besides I'm sure she has a great time there as well. And eventually we'll tell her and things will get easier," Mac said thoughtfully.

"I'm glad we decided on not telling anyone yet. I think I want to keep you just to myself a little while longer," Harm confessed.

"I kind of want you just to myself as well, but," she made a quick pause "in some way I want to share this … happiness with everyone and especially with Isabelle too."

"I know what you mean, but that time will come," Harm answered "I just think maybe it would be a little to soon … with everything. But I hope that soon we can be a real nuclear family, all three of us together, just like we were supposed to be."

Mac just nodded in response, but stayed silent.

"Good night," he whispered when they had been silent for a couple of minutes.

"'Night," Mac answered him and it didn't take long until they were both sleeping comfortably together.

TBC